Can’t… stop… watching

By Mir
March 2, 2006

I’ve had an incredibly busy day. First, I had to sleep late. After that, I had to watch a bunch of television, interrupted only by bits of food choked down with some advil and a few phone calls which invariably came while I was napping. (I especially enjoyed the follow-up call from the hospital. Perky Voice asked me “And how are you feeling today?” and seemed unfazed when I replied “Like someone ran over my chest with a truck, thanks!”)

Part of me feels like I should be making a greater effort to get up and moving today, and part of me remains firmly convinced that this is my opportunity to catch up on quality programming I’ve not had time for while feeling human. And the television distracts me, somewhat, from staring in horror at the bloody mess of bandages on my poor boob. (The boob, it still proudly proclaims YES! It’s such a trooper!)

But friends, I feel that I must come clean. I’ve… hit bottom. Seeing Kelly Ripa with hair extensions this morning was bad enough, but now I’ve been sucked into this atrocity. On the upside, it makes a breast biopsy seem like small potatoes. On the downside… well… I just feel DIRTY being so fascinated. Note that this is not stopping me from eating kettle corn while I continue to watch.

I swear I’ll leave the house tomorrow. This is obviously a cry for help.


  1. osteff

    We have the record for item #102 – a rock from the ear of a 3 yr old boy….that had to be SURGICALLY removed!

    I am glad you are feeling a little better, I was concerned.

  2. Contrary

    I once had a live human being removed from my body. I know. Hard to believe, but it’s true!

    I wonder why TLC hasn’t called me yet.

  3. Mo

    Hi, Mir! Long-time lurker coming out of the shadows to say:

    Hang in there, and don’t judge yourself for watching crazy TLC! Could be worse… I caught myself watching “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” on the Discovery Channel last month. And I’m not exaggerating on the title. If you find yourself bed-ridden (and deservedly so) this weekend, I highly recommend it.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    – Mo ;-)

  4. Susan

    I am TOTALLY watching that TLC show! RIGHT NOW! “When Surgical Tools Get Left Behind!”

    And they’re talking about a woman having a cyst removed from her breast . . . you should NOT watch this, Mir. Good lord, no.

    Now pass the kettle corn.

  5. ozma

    I hope you get out of the house to somewhere nice but you seem to have a more interesting time in your house than most people do outside of it. And you’ve really made me wish I had a television. Because THAT’S what TV is FOR.

  6. Melissa

    I’m glad your feeling better. Move away from the TV!!! But still glad your ok.

  7. chris

    “Warriors!” banging fists on computer table

    tell me you watched The Office last night

  8. Fraulein N

    You get some rest, you. Even your boob agrees with me.

    Me: Mir’s boob, do you think she should just be resting right now?
    Mir’s boob: Yes!

    See? Enjoy the horror that is TLC’s “medical” programming. You can’t look away, can you?

  9. Nothing But Bonfires

    I hope you are also enjoying a healthy cocktail of A Baby Story, A Wedding Story, and (my personal favorite) A Makeover Story. This trifecta is responsible for my prolonged unemployment after leaving college; how could I go out for interviews when they clashed with my TLC Time?

  10. Aimee

    Um…ew. Yet I can see the fascination, and I doubt I would have been able to pass it by. Glad you’re feeling better, at least a little bit. You must eat plenty of chocolate and kettle corn to complete your recovery!

  11. Amanda

    I want to watch the 101 show, but I can’t find it with my TiVo. I don’t think they’re airing it again anytime soon. Whyyyyyy?

  12. Brenda

    I watched it the first time it was on. The whole, “OMG, I’m so glad that is not me!” definitely applies. Schadenfreude Rules!

    Enjoy your immobility and pain killers and the lovely wooziness of TLC and Discovery Channel. But I would have demanded Vicodin. What’s the point of taking something you can get over-the-counter when you’ve had horrible, purple-inked, green oozing, giant chunk removal surgery? You deserve the three-part prescription meds!

  13. Amy-GO

    Um, are you sure this is the right show to watch after surgery? I think I would become convinced that the doctor left her, y’know, SHARPIE MARKER or something in there. *Ducking*
    Hope you feel lots better today!

  14. Marti

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery and a great report!

  15. Jenn2

    Oh the humanity! My husband made me watch a very disgusting and oddly compelling show about the removal of a 100+ lb tumor. I have yet to recover. What is it about TLC that makes us watch things we wouldn’t ordinarily view? Must be subliminal messages.

    And by the way… REST for Pete’s sake. You shined the dang sink, swiffered the dang floors, posted the dang post, etc, etc. Major boob hackage requires at least two days of intensive television therapy. It’s the LAW, Mir. I totally wouldn’t lie about that. ;)

  16. Mr. Fabulous

    Obviously we are going to stage an intervention. If not for the TV viewing, at least for the kettle corn…

  17. Meg

    Mir, take your time and do whatever you have to do to feel better. Not only do you have a sore boob to contend with, but you also have siboobling rivalry, too – your poor other boob. It didn’t have NO written on it, but it didn’t have YES, either, which is just as discomboobulating, surely.

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