Because it keeps on sucking

By Mir
February 24, 2006

Um, the surgical nurse called me today for my pre-registration whosiwhatsis for my biopsy next week, and told me that according to my paperwork I am having “mass excision” as opposed to the “core needle biopsy” that I thought I was having. This is causing me to “freak out” and also use extraneous “quotation marks” in reaction to the “reality” of a doctor using a “knife” on my “real and very much attached-to-me breast.”

And then I read that Amy’s mom has another lump and I decided I should just shut up already and by the way, these boob things are highly overrated and more trouble than they are worth.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying I’m SURE you’ve donated already or been to my CafePress store to buy a 3-Day t-shirt, but if you need MORE motivation, FINE.

A hearty thanks to gorgeous model Stephanie for demonstrating that you can enhance your rack while helping the racks of others!


  1. ben


    You keep using “sucking” and “boobs” in a way that just isn’t at all funny.

    Hopefully it’s just a typo, this knife-wielding bit. You’d think they’d let you in on these things…

  2. Stephanie Chance

    I am sending out emails to everyone I know. Look at my boobs on the internet!

  3. Stephanie Chance

    *Squashing my own self-absorption for a moment* Sorry about the news.

  4. Bob

    okay, after seeing Stephanie, I’m tempted to buy the t-shirt although mine aren’t nearly as nice. (the problem is that they’re noticable at all).

    One more (Amalah’s ma) for you to walk for.

    Mom had a “dent” in her breast after the “excision” – that filled out after a few weeks, so don’t fruit. Just look at it this way – they’re “cutting” to the chase and eliminating a procedure by going ahead and taking the “sucker” out.


  5. Jabberwocky

    I had a mass excision myself a few Augusts ago. Just a small scar, as the mass was small, and no dents. I’m sure yours will be the same. I wasn’t with it enough to drive that day, but was fine by the next day. Just keep that ice pack on your boobie the day of the surgery and you’ll be fine. Besides, tiny scars are sexy, aren’t they?

  6. Bethany

    Boy, good thing they do that pre-registering thing or you would have been in for a big surprise! Someone in their office dropped the ball on that one, not letting you know.

    I’ve had two masses removed (both benign), the second almost the size of a lemon (which translates to a BIG incision). Seriously, the anticipation is worse that the excision itself. The drugs are gooooooood, and I don’t remember a thing. The pain really is minimal. I think I took one post-op pain pill and that was it.

    You won’t feel like doing much at all that day, mainly because of the drugs from the surgery, but the next day I was completely back to normal.

    Hang in there, you’ve got a lot of people thinking about you!

  7. Cele

    Mir, it is the way of doctors. They scribble so we can’t read and doctor speak so we don’t understand. But they do usually make the hurt go away (of course not before inflicting more hurt and charging us for it.) But don’t give up.

    Your blog and your humor are an inspiration to many to keep moving on. You share and teach at the same time. Thank you.

  8. David

    What is it with these people? Remember a couple of posts back whoever it was telling you to plan not to drive? It sound almost like someone in this loop had excision in mind all along. And this is the same bunch who couldn’t find said excisable mass in their scans? Twice? Not that it’s my business, but it’d be nice if these people would pull their collective heads out and at least get all on the same page. And then let YOU in on it. Sheesh!

  9. Mike

    Nothing funny or witty to say at all, just sending love and hoping the docs knock this one out of the ballpark. *hugs*

  10. Marti

    You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers, darlin’.

  11. Sarcastic Journalist

    As a member of the boob lump club myself, I’ll be thinking of you. We can look at it this way: Just get it all out so you don’t have to deal with it in the future.

  12. buffi

    Oh, yeah. No pressure or anything. Okay, okay fine, I’m going to buy a damn shirt! AND donate to your walk. SHEESH.

    If you’re going to go cutting your boobs open, I suppose I can do that. Fine.

    Love ya, Mir. Wish I could be there to drive you home. Since, evidently, it your doing so yourself be frowned upon. Want some cookies?

  13. Zuska

    I’ll be thinking about you, Mir…

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