Now with extraneous hyphens

By Mir
February 13, 2006

If you have a Gmail account (and if you don’t, WHY NOT, and also ask me for an invite, because I have about a thousand of them), you may have noticed the new Gmail Chat feature. It’s… odd. But interesting. I of course had to test it out immediately by pestering Jenny with it, whereupon we chatted about many important things, including but not limited to:
1) The fact that you can “pop” the window out of your browser
2) The fact that my saying “Oh, I popped it out and it feels better now” sounds really dirty
3) The fact that the chat window reads “pop-in” or “pop-out” in the bottom corner, accordingly, and the hyphen is incorrect and that ANNOYS THE CRAP OUT OF ME
4) The fact that Jenny was not, in fact, using Gmail Chat, but GoogleTalk, and the two were talking to each other! Somehow! Magically!

Yeah, we’re tackling the important issues. Tune in next week when Jenny and I turn our critical eyes towards the dryer’s lint trap! Does it REALLY trap all the lint it could? What happens when it traps something that isn’t lint? We’re on the case!

[Sidebar: I suspect that the bizarre misplaced hyphen could have been avoided if Google had simply diverted some of the brainpower from various “features” towards checking the interface for grammatical English. While it’s really useful and everything for the smilies to appear as regular typed text, as entered, and then slowly rotate to an upright facial position, perhaps that wasn’t the wisest use of resources. Just sayin’.]

Mostly I was chatting to avoid sitting down to do an entry, tonight, because yesterday, you know, I was feeling sort of… heavy. Which is fine. But when I write something that isn’t light and fluffy, I sort of feel an obligation to follow it with a circus of amusing delights, just to sort of even things out. So, ideally, today I would have something totally hilarious to talk about, and then you would forget that last night I really needed some cheese to go with my whine.

A quick review of my day reveals that it was perhaps the most mundane and unfunny in recent memory. Dammit. Mostly I worked, and shopped online for shoes when I should’ve been doing more work, and picked up the kids and took Chickadee to Tae Kwon Do, then came home and played taskmaster to get them through showers while I made dinner, and blah blah blah, completely typical day.

Oh, wait. I think I may have told Chickadee that if she didn’t get out of the shower in the next 30 seconds, her eczema was going to get worse and all her skin would fall off. That was sort of funny. Or sadistic; I always confuse those two. (But that kid would stand in the shower for an hour if I didn’t make overblown and frightening threats, so it’s not like I have any choice.)

Without proper fodder from my day, I then considered the things rattling around in my brain. Well. Let’s see! Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! OHBOY! (Note to self: Must. Buy. Liquor.) But it gets BETTER, because I know I’m gonna have some action. Some hot, steamy, mammogram action, that is. I can spend some time thinking about that, but it’d probably be better if I just wait and see what happens. Generally any embarrassment I can dream up is… not even close to the utter humiliation I end up experiencing.

So, I may have absolutely nothing to say today, but we can all rest secure in the knowledge that tomorrow will almost certainly yield a story that must be told. Sure, you may be snuggling up with your sweetie, but I’m gonna go get smashed between two plates of plexiglass. Try not to be jealous.

[And if you can’t help being jealous, well, I suggest you go check out the Gmail Chat. After you pop-in and pop-out a few times, you’ll feel much better. Sicko.]


  1. ben

    But does google have a Mammogram Chat yet? And if they do, where do they put the hyphen?

    Happy V.D., Mir!

  2. Charlestongirl

    I’ve been catching up on your writing. I really enjoy your style. Also, I would like a gmail invite if you have some extra! Thanks. I think sometimes a little self-pity is allowed. The difficulty is knowing when to be gentle with ourselves. Give yourself a break!

  3. David

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Mir. :-)

  4. Contrary

    I’d be happy to take one of those gmail invites off your hands (or where ever you’re keeping them)!

    Also, Happy Valentine’s Day and I Hope They Don’t Smoosh Your Boobs Too Much!! (Does Hallmark make a card for that?)

  5. Maritza

    Happy VD Day! Um..I mean Valentine’s day. I love your blog and look forward to every morning having my coffee and reading your entries. Please send me a gmail invite.

  6. Bob

    Iwon’t wish a venerial disease on you, but (despite the pending exam) I will wish you a happy valentine’s day. As I am nowhere close to the northeast (thank my lucky stars) I cannot supply the needed libations.

    In a side note; just think, in 20 years time you too can refer to this medical procedure as “having the long bananas ironed. (thanks to mamacita for the ref.)

  7. Bob

    I won’t wish a venereal disease on you either.

    Damn – I wish I could spell.

  8. Stephanie

    umm, what’s gmail?

  9. Cele

    I tried walking two miles on Saturday and then again on Sunday – I am writing you from my wheelchair, Mir good luck the check is in the mail.

    Happy Valentine’s Day too you and to all.

    hmmmm Gmail

  10. Zuska

    *nodding and pretending I’d know what to do with Gmail, if I had it*

    Good luck at the boob smashing – I’ll be thinking of you!

  11. DebR

    Ok, not to sound totally stupid here (or maybe it’s so I WILL sound totally stupid here) but why do I need a Gmail acct? Or should that be G-mail acct? Heh.

    If I understood what I’ve been missing and why I oh-so-desperately-and-unknowingly need one (please note gratuitous use of hyphens) maybe I’d ask you to share one of your invites. Or in-vites. Whatever.

  12. Shash

    Apparently I need gmail. Can I get an invite as well? That sounds fun!

  13. Greg

    My unattached friends and I spent V-day watching as many awful horror movies as possible. We call it our “My Bloody Valentine Party”. It’s a good tradition it you’re a cynic.
    I too know the bliss of gmail. If you run out and need some more invites, just forward people to me. I am all for Google expanding their creepily eficient empire. At least if they were running things they would work.

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