I suppose we all tend to cling to the familiar. Even though sometimes the familiar sucks donkey balls. I know that–for myself–if the familiar isn’t actively irritating the crap out of me, I pretty much want to keep it. And when the familiar is something that WORKS for me? Well, I’d give it up, sure. If you could pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
Tonight I’m realizing that I need to embrace change more. Sometimes, change is good! Yes!
Well, no. Not usually. But I’m trying to convince myself. And I may have found the perfect reason to almost believe it.
Hi, my name is Mir, and I’ve just discovered The Office because apparently I live underneath a rock. See? Change is good. I have not laughed so hard for a very long time. I may like it even better than the ORIGINAL Iron Chef, and you KNOW that’s high praise from me.
This will not necessarily be enough to make me excited about other changes, but you do know how I love a good television show.
Potential Change #1: My babysitter is taking her driving test tomorrow. Which is unfair and wrong and just BAD. Good babysitters are supposed to be UGLY, first of all, and PAINFULLY SHY, second of all, to ensure that they remain dateless and available for use. I have long fretted over this sitter because she is cute as a button and incredibly gregarious and I just knew that once she got to high school, some greasy BOY would lure her away from me. But so far, so good. If she’s dating anyone, she’s not telling me about it, and it hasn’t interfered with our schedule.
Slowly, her life has become more busy, she’s become involved in more activities. But for the most part I’ve remained unaffected. She’s had to cancel sitting maybe, I dunno, 3 or 4 times in the 4 years that I’ve been using her. With a driver’s license, though? She’ll be a ticking time bomb. Her parents have already gotten a beater for her. Pretty soon she’ll be driving all over town, finding things like “hanging out” much more important than coming over here to watch my darling children.
I need to find a subtle way to delay the inevitable. I guess we missed her birthday a couple of weeks ago, and she always brings presents for the kids, so perhaps I can get to work on a belated birthday present. Say, a nice dime bag of weed with a little note suggesting she smoke it right before her driving test…? No?
Potential Change #2: I am still quite strongly opposed to this entire idea of DATING, because so far as I can see, it pretty much involves a constant process of hoping and being disappointed. But at the urging of a friend I did finally take a look at one of those online dating things that, uh, rhymes with, um, GeeFlarmony. I filled out eighty seven gazillion questionnaires before it would even tell me how much it costs to be a member, which–let me tell you–is about what I spend to feed myself and the children. So, basically, we can have groceries, or I can potentially have a few stalkers supplied to me so that I can see a movie or two at the theatre now and then.
Anyway. I have not PAID for this matching service thing. I probably never will. But you can get your free profile and let them go find matches for you, and then elect to pay if you want to talk to anyone they’ve found for you. So, the first day, it send me a hundred matches. Maybe not a hundred. But a whole lot. Because apparently I had forgotten to tell it that I wanted someone, you know, LOCAL. Oh, they had matches for me. In Florida! In New Mexico! In Minnefuckingsota! Once I went back in and pointed out where I live, I never received another match.
So it may be true that I am so completely impossible, there really is no man out there for me. Or that I’m actually going to have to WORK to find someone, and really, am I going to do that? Probably not. Isn’t it enough that I get dressed every day? I mean, most days?
On the other hand, I should really start getting out more. To the movies. Or something. Plus bad dates are great blog fodder.
Then again, with these impending changes, maybe I should just catch up on all of the episodes of The Office that I’ve missed up til now. Wouldn’t want to be too hasty about anything. Maybe everything else will just stay the same.
As you were. Unless you have any other ideas about how I can make sure my sitter fails the driving test, in which case, lemme know right away.