This will be short

By Mir
December 21, 2005

My bed is calling me. It says “Sweet nothingness awaits you here! Come drool on my pillows and know bliss!”

I’m slightly disturbed that it’s talking to me, but as long as it says nothing about cookies, I’m down with the overall message.

Cookies. I baked five different kinds of cookies for eight different teachers. Figure half a dozen of each kind for each teacher. That’s… five times eight times six is… TOO MANY FREAKING COOKIES. Honestly, I have the biggest sweet tooth around, and after a solid day and a half of rotating cookies sheets in and out of the oven and preparing gift baskets I am actually nauseous at the thought of even LOOKING at any more cookies.

Then again, I may just be nauseous in general. I had my third chiroquactor adjustment today and I’m telling you, the sandals are bad mojo. Today’s tie wasn’t quite so hideous but those SANDALS with the dress clothes are just a harbinger of doom. The appointment itself wasn’t too bad, but this afternoon my neck starting spasming and by early evening I was nursing a migraine. Maybe it was from slaving over the cookies, but I’m going to insist it was the sandals.

Oh, one more thing before I go.

If you use the Target pharmacy, you’re probably familiar with their new ClearRx system. It involves RED pill bottles (because the standard amber plastic was just so passe) with a colored band around the neck. You can pick a color for each member of your family, and then every prescription you get always has your colored band on the bottle. This is supposed to cut down on possible confusion if, say, you don’t know how to read your name on the label.

Anyway, I picked up refill prescriptions for the kids a couple of days ago. That went smoothly. Chickadee is yellow and Monkey is green. The bottles were tagged correctly. And both children continue to be annoyed at me for hogging purple as my band color.

Today I picked up a refill of my hormone patches. For things that don’t come in bottles, instead of a neck band you get a colored sticker on the package. So my little purple box of patches usually has a purple sticker, too.

But not today! Nope, today my hormone patches had a GREEN sticker. I didn’t notice until I got home. Poor Monkey; I just don’t think all that extra estrogen is going to agree with him.


  1. Sarcastic Journalist

    Couldn’t he have used some of that estrogen to help with the damn cookies?

  2. Shiz

    HA! Poor Monkey!

  3. LatteMan

    I understand the marketing behind it, and the idea (which isn’t horrible… stupid but not horrible). But it is things like this that are going to make for a huge lawsuit at some point.

    Sorry, my sympaty is a bit low on the baking front, I have done sooo much, with so much left to do!

  4. wheelomatic

    I like Chiroquacker. But I always went to a Quackopracter instead.
    And I am with you on the sandals.

  5. steff

    Every time I get a massage I get nauseuos – because it is apparently releasing toxins in our bodies – do you think the chiropractor work is doing the same to your body and making you nauseuos?

  6. AGK

    *snort* And pass the cookies!

  7. ben

    My son is one of those who will probably grow up to wear sandals everywhere. At this point it’s cute, not creepy.

    Purple… to match your Panties of Power?

  8. Cele

    I’m thinking your neck is out of wack from the quack. I know you don’t want to hear this, try a different quack – you should be fine by now. And those sandles? Honey, you’re not even in the Pacific Northwest, what’s up with that? My cracker is in the PN but he doesn’t wear sandles every, and he’s dreamy on the eyes.

    I would have to drag my hubby down to the Pharmacy to see what colours he can see because, duh, he’s colour blind. So his muscle relaxers are upside down in the cupboard so he can find them.

  9. Amy-GO

    Bake some of that estrogen into those cookies and give ’em to the chiroquacker.

  10. Jenny

    I agree, I think it’s time for a different chiropractacater too. Sometimes it takes two visits to feel better, but more than that, I’d say he aint helping. I love mine, but I also think that some of them are money-grubbing and will drag out the treatment.
    I’d hog the purple too!!
    And I wish Santa would bring me a divorce for Christmas!!At this point, even my four kids all agree!
    I haven’t baked a single cookie yet. We’ll be lucky if we can pull off a birthday Christmas Eve, and Christmas dinner. Hmph!

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