By Mir
December 7, 2005

Hello! Thank you so much for all of the kind words and well-wishes! I feel all warm and fuzzy, but that could be the muscle relaxers. No matter!

I’m pleased to report that both children are enjoying their minor celebrity status (I am told that Chickadee completely monopolized sharing time today, between the bandage on her head and the little stuffed bear whose head is wrapped in gauze, just like hers was when we left the hospital) and are back to bouncing off the walls with gleeful abandon. Children bounce. Thank God.

Me, I always thought whiplash was pain in your neck, but apparently it is pain in your everything. Learn something new every day! I might’ve preferred learning this through, say, casual conversation, rather than learning it because yesterday morning I had to think really hard about how in the world I was going to propel my body off the bed and get myself upright. But all things considered, I don’t get to complain. So nevermind.

* * * * *

Good news! My stepmom got to go home today! This makes us all very happy! Now finish getting better, dammit (I’m so gentle). It’s such a relief to have that to be happy about, right now.

* * * * *

The insurance adjustor who came to the house to go over the medical authorizations and such explained that even when Chickadee has to have additional surgery on her scar, it will be covered under my policy. I thought that was impressive, actually. Though if I collect, 5 or 10 years down the road, they’ll raise my rates (again), I assume, so we’ll see. For right now I prefer to blithely ignore what the doctor who stitched her up told me, and assume that the wound will shrink away to an unrecognizable tiny little nothing and we’ll all look back and… well… maybe “laugh” is too much to hope for right now. Right now I hope I’ll look back and not burst into tears.

* * * * *

Half a bottle of peroxide later, our jackets are clean again. I had to throw away the shirt Chickadee was wearing on Monday. My ex thought I should try to wash it, but I knew I’d never be able to look at it again without seeing it completely red all down the back from where she lay in a mixture of blood and saline while they closed her up.

* * * * *

I missed a deadline due to Monday’s festivities, and felt like gum on the underside of my client’s shoe, and she sent me flowers. Which may have been my first clue that beating myself into a metaphorical bloody pulp over all of this was a mite harsh. (And the flowers really are just as pretty as the picture.)

* * * * *

In the meantime, I’ve landed two new contracts. Yesterday, that felt overwhelming. Today it feels overwhelming but in a good way. I need the distraction. And I need to keep moving forward.

* * * * *

Speaking of moving forward, I’ve driven through the intersection where we crashed three times since then. Not that I’m counting or anything. And my rental car has very touchy brakes, which causes me to tense up every single time I slow down and it happens a bit faster than I anticipate. I hate the rental car. I miss MY car.

* * * * *

But my car, well, it’s gone. I got the call today. Apparently it needs a new engine! Something about the radiator supports snapping and something else. And for some reason, my insurance company doesn’t want to bother with that on top of nearly $10,000 worth of body damage. I cannot imagine why not. If anyone is looking for a cheap rear bumper for a Subaru Forester, let me know. It’s in perfect shape.

I am torn, because I really, really, wanted my car back. I loved that car. But if it was fixable, I think I’d be terrified to drive it again. I saw what happened to it. I don’t believe I would’ve felt safe in it, because it seemed impossible that all that damage could truly be fixed. And I guess I was right to feel that, because it can’t.

* * * * *

As a friend was visiting (having brought us dinner, and goodies, because she is an angel), I explained that Monkey had not only picked stuffed animals for himself and his sister, at the hospital, but he felt I should be included, as well. The kids have identical stuffed pigs and I was given a little stuffed monkey. My friend and I were chuckling about this.

Chickadee, overhearing this, immediately wrapped herself around me and said, “You got the monkey for being SO BRAVE, Mama!”

This made me giggle, which was just enough to hold back the tears that were threatening to tumble out.

Then she stood up very straight and shook her finger at me. “It is NOT a REWARD for crashing the car,” she said in a very stern voice.

“Yes ma’am,” I squeaked out between laughs. It hurts so badly to laugh, right now, but I don’t care.


  1. Ms Sisyphus

    You’re children are wonderful. Chickadee in particular made me smile today. Our difficult children can so often be, well, difficult, but when they are wonderful…oh, how wonderful they can be.

    Good call on the shirt. I threw the dress I was wearing when told about Zen Baby’s tumour down the garbage chute. It was covered in that ultrasound goo, but that would have washed. But I would have never been able to wear it again.

  2. Nothing But Bonfires

    When I woke up the day after my accident, my CALVES hurt. Do your calves hurt? I think it was from unwittingly clenching them in fear or something, but I was so suprised that such a random body part would hurt. Not my neck! No! My calves!

    Anyway, so glad all is getting better. I would send you a Porncake in the mail if I thought it might help (and get there in one piece.) I could still do it. Just say.

  3. Amy-GO

    Thank God you’re laughing. Thank God they’re laughing. Thank God for good insurance. Good call on the shirt. And the car. Email if you want pie. Or anything. At all. Thank God. *SMOOCH*

  4. Amy-GO

    Oh, and I almost forgot! Mederma, for scars. REALLY works. My bestest friend split her forehead from hairline to eyebrow last summer. When the stitches came out she used that stuff religiously and now her scar is almost completely invisible. And she’s an adult! On Chickie’s gorgeous young skin it should be even better.

  5. buffi

    I heart Chickadee! They are right though. You were brave. And you were right there for them.

    It has been so long since the accident when I had whiplash. It was high school (see, I told you, soooo long!) But I clearly remember how much it hurt. And I was 17! I can’t imagine how it would feel now.

    I have said so many prayers for you guys. I’ll keep it up for a while longer, if it’s all the same to you.

  6. Sheryl

    I’ve been checking in all day wondering if you’d post. Thanks for the update, and I’m glad you had a few bright moments today. Thinking of you. Hugs.

  7. Kestralyn

    Wonderful news for all people: Chickadee and Monkey are demi-celebrities, you’re starting to heal emotionally, and Step-Mom is healthy enough to go home!

    We’re all just so happy that you’re all ok. I’m sorry your Forester is totalled, but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. A good car is designed to give its “life” to save those of the people it carries. And you had one of the best.

    So happy you’re all safe and healing! Thank you for the update.

  8. DebR

    The story of the kids and the stuffed animals made me go “aaawwwwww”. You have great kids. Still sending good thoughts your way for all of you to recover swiftly.

    PS…FWIW, my little sister had a big cut on her forehead when she was around 8 years old (from being hit by a car as she stood at our mailbox!) and they told my parents she’d probably need plastic surgery on it when she got older, but then it really did fade away to a “tiny little nothing” as she got older. So yes…Mederma and good thoughts for no surgery for Chickadee.

  9. Zobabe

    A few drops of vitamin E oil (from a punctured vitamin capsule)massaged into the wound every day as soon as Chickadee can stand for you to touch it works, too. A drop or two a couple of times a day, after the stitches are out, of course, will work wonders. Vitamin E is stinky and a bit sticky, but worth the trouble, as long as there are no cats around to mistake her head for a can of tuna. LOL Medema would smell better, I’m guessing, but I haven’t tried it. Vit. E would be a good fallback if Medema doesn’t do the trick. Just a suggestion from a lurker. :-D

  10. Cyndi

    Did I neglect to mention that your whole body would hurt when I said to “take Tylenol, Motrin and everything they gave you at the hospital”? Sorry. I meant to… LOL

    Chickadee is hilarious, as is Monkey. Glad to hear things are getting back to…well, good humor.

  11. daysgoby

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better! And driving again!

    I had a car accident when I was younger and my father made me drive his car home from it – a LOT of cursing and tears, but he was right, it got me back in the saddle.

    Sorry to hear about your car, though – good cars are legend.

    But most of all, happy for you! Welcome back, creaky Mir!

  12. Katie

    I’m so glad you are all laughing again. :)

  13. Chookooloonks

    Good Lord. If that’s the kind of thing that comes out of Chickadee’s mouth, not only should you be proud she’s such a LOVELY girl, you should be patting yourself on the back so much, you cause YOURSELF whiplash.

    Lovely to see you smile again friend, even if I can only see it “cyberly.”

  14. Dawn

    In 5 or 10 years, she’ll look back on it and think it was the COOLEST thing EVER. I only hope she remembers the ride in an ambulance, because that’ll be the best part. (I was in a similar accident in high school, and, to this day, I am still annoyed that I can’t remember the ride in the ambulance. Stupid head injury.)

  15. brenda

    Funny how we just keep on keepin’ on, isn’t it?

    So glad to hear how you all are. You can bet those kids feel safer with you than ever because of how you handled the situation.

    Here’s to a loose and painfree Mir!

  16. Theresa

    It’s going to take time Mir. It was a scary thing, and I know you are still shaken. But she’s ok, and you will all be ok. Just keep smiling…

  17. Aimee

    I’m so glad you’re all okay, and able to laugh again, even if it’s through the pain. Here’s hoping for the quick fading of Chickadee’s scar — I second the recommendation for vitamin E — and for the end of the full-body whiplash. :)

  18. Stephanie

    So glad everyone is recovering.

  19. Melanie Lynne Hauser

    I just read about your accident – Thank heavens you’re all right. And that you can laugh about it all now!

  20. Bob

    Welcome back. I too checked all day Tues. & Weds. and now I can quit worrying so much. Accidents can be traumatic but it sounds like everyone is recovering. Too bad Chickadee isn’t a little older, she might would then get the joke of the black knight – “it’s only a flesh wound”. I.E. anything can be overcome, given the right frame of mind. From what you’ve written, she seems to be on her way. You should keep that in mind too. Since I can’t reach from here, consider yourself hugged. You and your family are constantly in my thoughts.

  21. susan

    Ditto on the Mederma. Over the counter and dermatologist recommended. And it works!

  22. chris

    YEAH! So glad everyone is recovering, esp your shoulders from the burden of carrying all that ill-placed guilt.
    The kids are healing themselves and you:) We’ll keep sending you good vibes anyway.

  23. *AGK*

    I have 50-million or so scars on my face from childhood accidents and such…and I assure you, most people can’t even see them. Kids heal well.

    (((MORE HUGS)))

  24. Angela

    I’m with Buffi. I heart Chickadee. I also heart Monkey. Oh, and I heart Mir.

    So glad you guys are on the recovery road. I hear that they don’t allow dump trucks.

  25. Tracy

    Whiplash is definitely an entire body experience. I wondered if you’d gotten off scotfree, but didn’t think so based on the others’ injuries. Sore doesn’t cover it, wicked ouch do I have to move again – comes closer, but nobody can explain whiplash until you’ve had it. I figure it is basically your whole body getting flung forward and back, and ouch, it hurts for a while.

    glad everything is improving. I enjoy reading your blog.

  26. udge

    So very glad that you are all basically OK, if still sore and stiff and bandaged. (BTW I’m using Safari and don’t see any photos, should they be in the post? No, never mind, you have other things to be doing.)

  27. Humor Me

    I am so very glad that you are smiling again. I am normally only a lurker on your site, but you bring such joy to me with your website and your stories, your impeccable wit. All clouds pass and the sun always shines.
    Thank you for allowing me into your world and for making me smile while you do it.

  28. EverydaySuperGoddess

    Ten years after my accident, I still flinch every time I drove over the spot where it happened.

    I’m so glad everybody is okay!

  29. Liz

    Oh yeah?

    Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

    Because he saw the snowblower coming, silly!!

    Okay…maybe you shouldn’t pretend that was funny…since it hurts and all!

    Keep feeling better and…YAY!…to more contracts!!

  30. Sandra

    Is Chickadee old enough to like Harry Potter? Cause then you could tell her that forehead scars are really stylish right now. My daughter has come to really like hers.

  31. Eulallia

    I’m so glad you’re all ok!

  32. Shiz

    And a warning, dear. Do not watch Adaptation for at least a year. Maybe ever. Trust me.

  33. Kris

    Oh I just love Chickadee. That’s one smart cookie you’ve got there. (HUGS)

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