Revenge of the Spirochetes

By Mir
November 17, 2005

Hello! And, also, OW!

I’d like to introduce you to my new band, Revenge of the Spirochetes. It plays extraordinarily sucky music which more or less makes you want to lay down and die, but SUCH A CATCHY NAME. I am unconcerned about the details! Everybody grab a tamborine! Also, if you would like to come over here and maybe find my heating pad and perhaps hit me over the head really hard so as to render me unconscious, that would be fabulous. Thanks.

Did you know that spirochetes (pronounced: bacteria) such as Borrelia burgdorferi (pronounced: evil bacteria that cause Lyme disease) are not, generally speaking, fans of antibiotics? It’s true! Here is a highly technical, scientific explanation of my experience in the wonderful world of Lyme thus far:

1) I am bitten by an infected tick at some point.
2) I am blissfully unaware.
3) After some time passes, I become mildly ill.
4) After some more time passes, I become moderately ill.
5) I go to the doctor once it becomes clear that there is something honest and for true seriously wrong.
6) I am diagnosed with Lyme.
7) I am given many huge horse pills to make me all better! Yay!
8) I begin taking huge horse pills. Ready to be better now! Yay!
9) The spirochetes in my body start to explode, leaving behind large, messy puddles of toxins.
10) I am knocked flat on my ass with fever, dizziness, pain everyfuckingwhere, and general poor-me-ish-ness.

So. Um. As soon as my hair stops throbbing, I’ll be back.

25 Comments

  1. daysgoby

    Oh my! Poor you! You must be like one huge infected tooth. Poor thing.
    Make the kids cook you dinner tonight. After a few soggy pb&j squashed bites, you’ll feel better…I hope.

  2. Colleen

    Holy crap. You’ve got Lyme disease??? Ugh. I hope you feel better soon.

  3. Mom

    Drink, drink, drink. Wash that poison out of your poor sick body. Then be all better very soon.

    Love,
    Mom

  4. Michele

    Hang in there! You’ll feel much better in a few days. We’re pulling for you.

  5. bob

    urg. yuk. I hate it when your hair throbs. sorry.

    borrelia burgdorferi – I’m surprised that someone with your obvious vocation for shopping would SUFFER from this bacteria, I would have thought there would have been a much more symbiotic reaction. Maybe you’d’ve reacted better to the related bacterium borrelia goodmaneri.

    much commiserations. hope you feel better soon.

  6. shannon

    If I lived closer I’d offer to hang with Monkey and Chickadee (once, of course, we met and you deemed me not a freak…crap, with the new tattoo that’s gonna be hard).

  7. DebR

    Po’ Mir. Hope the antibiotics make you and your throbbing hair feel better not worserererer very soon.

    And thank you for the guide in how to pronounce spirochetes. I’d wondered!

  8. Carol

    I have nothing eloquent, articulate or witty to say. I only want to say that I’m really very sorry that you are feeling ill and that it’s even worse now that it’s been diagnosed and treated!

    As always, I’ll check in here daily but I won’t be expecting you for a few days :) I hope that Monkey & Chickadee can go and spend a few days with their dad while you work on getting better.

    I’m really sorry, Mir.

  9. Marvo

    Here’s something that I hope will make you feel better. Click here. (Warning: Probably Not Safe For Work)

  10. Marvo

    Dang! My link didn’t work. Oh well. I tried.

  11. buffi

    But you make it sound like so much fun! I want to go find a deer tick to party with right now! The exploding bacteria! Toxin puddles! Sign. me. up.

    (also? feel better, Mir!)

  12. Chookooloonks

    Oh YIKES. I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better. In the meantime, I’m off to make a voodoo doll with the likeness of a Spirochete (Spiroshite?).

    Take good care,

    K.

  13. Sheryl

    I had a firend who had it, it’s nasty business. Hop you feel all better soon!!! Hopefully it’s Ex’s weekend?

  14. Theresa

    Oh no! What the heck is that? You’re not supposed to feel WORSE! Ugh!

    Hopefully it lasts all of a day? I’m sorry to hear this…can I help? Sing you a song? Do my mime imitation?

    {{{{HUGS}}}}

  15. Amy-GO

    That’s not fair! Antibiotics are supposed to make you feel better, not worse! Poor, poor, baby. Would pie make you feel better? ;)

  16. Jules

    Mir I’m so sorry to hear that you are herxing from your medication. I got the tick bite and the bullseye rash and the flu symptoms 3 years ago and was undertreated (10 days of low dose antibiotics) and now suffer from chronic Lyme – which sucks. The herxheimer reaction normally only lasts a couple of days and then you will start feeling MUCH better.

  17. Steph

    OMG! I found a tick on the back of my daughter’s head one time, and I FREAKED out. First, I didn’t want her to get Lyme disease, and second, how did I not find it sooner, I mean, what kind of bad mother am I?
    I really hope you feel better. If I lived anywhere near you, I would come clean your house and cook you dinner and entertain your kids. You could give out a P.O. Box number so we can send you get well presents. Feel better soon!

  18. laura

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. Maybe drink lots of water to flush out the toxious puddles? Or beer? Would beer help? I’m sending you a twelver, a heating pad, and a smallish cast iron skillet (for head konking).

  19. Zuska

    Been there, felt THAT lousy!! I remember that I didn’t believe my dr. when he told me to expect to feel worse before feeling better, and I also remember cursing at him for not telling me exactly HOW much worse I’d feel! Hang in there…

  20. ben

    Oh, this is so absolutely wrong.

    You are miserable and hurting and crying out for help, to perhaps be comforted by the words of strangers on your blog.

    And I am laughing my ass off that Google has two “lyme disease cure” ads just to the left of your entry.

    I agree with your mom – drink, drink, drink. I prefer tequila. You’ll be so busy throwing up you’ll forget your body is rebelling against you.

  21. Snow

    Ow indeed. Rest. Sleep. Drink many liquids. Farm out the children. Rest some more.

  22. Lulu

    Aw, honey. When life gives you Lyme disease, ya gotta make Lymonade. With gin. It goes so well with Lymes! So…what your mama said. Drink. Drink. Drink.

    And spirochete rhymes with parakeet, which is NOT a chickadee. And don’t monkey around with this stuff either. (spy -row -keet)

    Hushing and getting outta the way now….

  23. Angel

    Oh my! I’m so sorry, I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  24. diane

    Just want to add myself to the list of well-wishers! I just got over a “systemic virus” which had attacked my lymphatic system, and I was miserable, so I can only imagine what them bacterias are doing. Be sure somebody brings you lots of ice cream! And feel better!

  25. Sheryl

    Mir? Are you alive over there? Wave a white flag, or post a picture of a white flag, or something, so we know you’re ok. Hopefully you’re getting lots of rest (and ice cream).

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