Hello! And, also, OW!
I’d like to introduce you to my new band, Revenge of the Spirochetes. It plays extraordinarily sucky music which more or less makes you want to lay down and die, but SUCH A CATCHY NAME. I am unconcerned about the details! Everybody grab a tamborine! Also, if you would like to come over here and maybe find my heating pad and perhaps hit me over the head really hard so as to render me unconscious, that would be fabulous. Thanks.
Did you know that spirochetes (pronounced: bacteria) such as Borrelia burgdorferi (pronounced: evil bacteria that cause Lyme disease) are not, generally speaking, fans of antibiotics? It’s true! Here is a highly technical, scientific explanation of my experience in the wonderful world of Lyme thus far:
1) I am bitten by an infected tick at some point.
2) I am blissfully unaware.
3) After some time passes, I become mildly ill.
4) After some more time passes, I become moderately ill.
5) I go to the doctor once it becomes clear that there is something honest and for true seriously wrong.
6) I am diagnosed with Lyme.
7) I am given many huge horse pills to make me all better! Yay!
8) I begin taking huge horse pills. Ready to be better now! Yay!
9) The spirochetes in my body start to explode, leaving behind large, messy puddles of toxins.
10) I am knocked flat on my ass with fever, dizziness, pain everyfuckingwhere, and general poor-me-ish-ness.
So. Um. As soon as my hair stops throbbing, I’ll be back.