Please stand by

By Mir
November 14, 2005
Category Detritus

In addition to having handily disposed of not one but TWO websites today (if only I could harness my powers for good), there are now further technical difficulties which necessitate the absence of a real post for tonight.

And by “further technical difficulties,” I of course mean “I am still laboring over an assignment due in the morning which I have somehow not yet completed; unless the person reading this is my editor in which case it is totally already done, no worries at all, and by the way have I mentioned lately that you are pretty because you totally are.”

In lieu of a real post, have three random snippets from my day:

1) My father has requested a Monkey story. So let’s blame this on him. This morning I heard a blood-curdling wail from upstairs and I dropped the toast mid-buttering and ran to see who was bleeding. My reward?
Me: *trying not to laugh* Um, how did THAT happen?
Monkey: I don’t know! I was just sitting here! And then it was in the potty!
Me: I see. Well. Was it, um, attached to you at the time?
Monkey: Yes! But I didn’t do it!
Me: Okay.
Monkey: Really.
Me: Okay. Let’s just clean you up.
Chickadee: You fell into the toilet? That doesn’t seem like a good way to start your day.

2) I saw a woman running out of McDonald’s with a cup of coffee–obviously very important and in a great hurry–hop into her 2006 Saab and drive away. Lady, unless you stole that car, I’m thinking your “turbocharged attitude” can probably afford Starbucks.

3) Later, I passed an unremarkable car whose license plate read AEIOU-Y. I didn’t know the driver, but I think I love him a little bit. You know he had to be singing Conjuntion Junction, What’s Your Function? in there.


  1. elswhere

    Heh! It must’ve been National Kindergarteners’ Fall Into the Toilet Day today, because my girl just did that not an hour ago. Then burst into inconsolable tears (apparently, it’s not a very good way to *end* your day, either).

  2. buffi

    Okay, the Monkey/toilet story is funny. But it would be even funnier to me if my four year old didn’t do it on purpose.

    Yes, he tells me, “It’s funny when my hiney touches the water!” Say it with me now, EEEEWWWW!!!

  3. Jules

    Life is never boring in your house is it? LOL

  4. Bob

    Monkey is an anglophile? his BUM touched toilet water? Does he put marmite or clotted cream on his morning scones? Give him a big cheerio from us here in the colonies.

    I totally dig schoolhouse rock. my hero zero; i’m only a bill; etc. (I almost ordered the dvd off of the link….)

  5. ben

    I have the dvd…

    Naughty Number Nine

  6. Aimee

    I bought the DVDs for my nephew a few years back and couldn’t believe how many of the lyrics I remembered. Interjections!

  7. Katie

    AEIOU-Y? Genius. I wish I was that smart somedays.

  8. sleepingmommy

    If you find that guy find out if he’s got a brother who’s equally into grammer and would be interested in being my fantasy secret totally platonic boyfriend.

  9. Lisa

    Thank you. 1) For the needed laugh. And 2)for getting that song stuck in my head. I have the boxed set of Schoolhouse Rocks! cd’s. Might have to go turn them on now.

    I’m Just a Bill, Yes I’m only a Bill…

  10. Jenny is back up! Yay! We managed to overcome the fits caused by Mir’s brilliance and beauty.

    Come on over and read her interview and leave her lots of comments!

  11. Amy-GO

    Ah, boys and the potty. One of the recurring themes of my household.

    AEIOU-Y = Good one! My favorite that I’ve seen lately was here in Kansas where the personalized plates have a Buffalo on them. The plate read “Tatonka.” Go ahead, try not to snicker! :)

  12. Nothing But Bonfires

    I also LOVE that Monkey says “bum.”

    Did I teach him that? You know, even though I’ve never met him. Or you. But just sort of through the computer or something? The British accent is a powerful thing, you know.

    Or are you employing a Mary Poppins? Oh, who am I kidding, she’d NEVER say bum.

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