It’s Sunday night, and I’m all about the deep thoughts. There are so many unknowns in this world… I only wish I could unravel the truth behind some of these complex issues. I think I would sleep better at night. Hey, I would certainly sleep better at night if a man who adores me was all cuddled up with me, but that would probably lead to him stealing the covers and snoring and farting and God only knows what else, plus that’s just not happening anyway, so let’s proceed on the theory that my sleep will be aided by figuring out some of these things, instead.
And stop looking at me like that.
… does your hair–which is growing in a million different directions and looking like crap 98% of the time–always look SMOKING HOT right before you get it cut? And late at night right before you go to bed, but only when you’re alone?
… do the children who never manage to get their laundry into the hamper then complain that they have no clean socks?
… haven’t I gotten my Sunday paper for the last three weeks? Is someone stealing it or did the paper guy finally figure out that I never tip him at Christmas?
… is there apparently a virus that makes children sick for Mama on Thursday and Friday, but perfectly fine for Daddy on the weekend?
… does it always rain on the day you planned to go to the dump?
… do I only get sick on the every-other-weekend when the kids are gone and I have a million things to do?
… are the shows I really like always cancelled?
… has my insurance decided they will no longer pay for medication which they’ve covered for years?
… is Brian Austin Green still on television? Didn’t someone put him out of his misery after 90210?
… do credit card companies keep wooing me even though I already have a combined monthly credit line of more than I make in a typical YEAR?
… do the things that are a little too big never shrink in the wash and the things that fit perfectly come out suitably sized for Barbie dolls?
… don’t I have anything good to eat here? It’s almost like someone ate all the cookies, or something.
So many conundrums. So few snacks.