Enough with the ponderous. Blah blah blah, losing my mind, blah blah blah blah. Boooooooring. Let’s take a vacation, shall we?
I skipped the Friday Flashbacks last week. Time to return, and time to inject a little levity into things, I think.
So! Today! Memorable occasions of sucking face (for better or for worse). Play along, won’t you? Everyone’s got some good kissing stories. Or should. I don’t know that mine are really any different than anyone else’s, but it does give me a giggle or two to recall some of the men I’ve licked. (Sorry, Dad.)
* Everyone has the same “first french kiss” story, right? In my case, I was a freshman in high school, he was my first “real” boyfriend, we were at the movies. First he held my hand, then a couple of little pecks, and then the next thing I knew, my tonsils were being probed. My head actually *thwacked* against the seat back as I recoiled. The movie was 101 Dalmatians, and as we both had the make-out skills of puppies, it seemed appropriate. Several times we had to stop and wipe the drool away. Sex-ay!
* My second “real” boyfriend was considerably older, more experienced, and less prone to excess salivation. He was (probably still is) a fantastic kisser. He’s also a regular reader of this site and has a big enough ego already, so that’s all I’m gonna say about him. Ha!
* After a long dry spell in college, I went on a few dates with a guy I had a HUGE crush on. He was a perfect gentleman and I was perfectly disappointed when he never made a move. On our third date, we got stuck in the rain on our way home. As we ran through the storm back to my apartment, he stopped and kissed me. Cartoon butterflies circled my head and fluffy bunnies danced at our ankles. I drew the line at singing at wishing wells, but it was close.
* My husband was a timid, unadventuresome kisser. I convinced myself that it didn’t matter. And eventually we stopped kissing, so I suppose it didn’t.
* The first man I kissed after my divorce, I hyperventilated. For real. He was an okay kisser, but never (ever!) used his tongue, I learned. Which was fitting, because it turned out he held back a lot more than that, of himself.
And then there’s… well… I think I’ll stop there….
Sigh… A good kiss can sweep away alot of crap, can’t it? I ended a relationship for so many reasons that no one outside it could understand, yet they were all willing to except that it was ’cause he was a bad kisser. Now can we move on to second base and exchange our first grope stories?
I remember kissing this date once, who’s tounge salivated, and damn near choked me… so much I thought I was gonna puke! Needless to say, I never went out with him again! GAK!
Yeah, what I remember from high school is LOTS of saliva. I dated a twin who said he came up with a new way of kissing after we had been “French” kissing for a good while . He said it was called a “German Drag”, and what it was, he would take a drag on a cigarette, and exhale it into my mouth while French kissing. Yuck! Once was too much! Thinking about this subject lead me to remember more stuff, so yeah, on with the first gropes, haha!
Cartoon butterflies circled my head and fluffy bunnies danced at our ankles.
Oh yeah.
So, the third date is too late to make a move?
Ohh my goodness..the first boy to stick his tongue down my thraot… The first time he did it was when he’d walked me home. I was 13!! I was living with my dad….I was HORRIFIED and disgusted! A few days later we were hanging out over at his place and it was time for me to leave…so I sent him inside to see what time it was and I took off running home (we lived in a huge apartment complex in Columbus) Well is this sprint from the spit the side walk dipped but I did not and I fell face first into the sidewalk. I didn’t scrape my face up but my teeth went into my bottom lip causing massive amounts of bleeding and just a little crying….he found me..I had to make something up about playing a trick or something…it’s been 23 years for crissake ;) Needless to say I didn’t have to worry about the being probed by the alien that night…We soon “broke up” and he got a new girlfriend who was extreamly ugly and HUGE!!! who was gonna kick my so soo pretty arse….
Ok..that’s enough flashing back to 8th grade for one day..
Speaking of fluffy bunnies, I once went to room restriction in a psych ward for kissing a girl.
Yowza.
(and no, it wasn’t Angelina Jolie or Winona Ryder)
Damn..I could sure use a nice kiss about now. Wish you hadn’t reminded me!
My introduction to french kissing was by a girlfriend in high school who opened her (rather generous) mouth as wide as she could – I thought I was gonna be inhaled. I was overwhelmed, but as we had a good bit of practice I got used to it. I wonder what my next girlfriend thought.
Oooooh, I like this idea! My first kiss was after a Christmas party at my house. I walked the boy in question to the door and said goodnight. He stepped out on the porch, paused with his back to me, then turned around and planted the softest little kiss right on my mouth. Shivers and toe-curling, even now. 20 years later. Wow.
Excuse me, I have to go find my husband.
The first kiss was from someone I had no interest in and was genuinely puzzled as to why he thought it would appropriate to kiss me. Quel drag!
Subsequent guys run the gamut from FABulous kisses (who were duds once you got beyond that – what’s up with THAT?) to mediocre kissers who were nonetheless delightful at, shall we say, the rest…to somewhere in between.
The ex was a combo of your ex and 1st post-divorce kisser – a timid, unadventuresome kisser who never (ever!) used his tongue, which as you said, was fitting as he also held back a lot more of himself than that. But now another woman’s problem. Which just proves there is a god and s/he is good.
And now there’s…well…no one! Wah!
After thinking about it, my brain has finally been jogged. Although, I guess I can remember the bad kissers the most, haha! In high school, my girlfriend and I hung out with a guy who was a little bit older, but he had a CAR!! He was also a bit weird, but did I mention he had a CAR! Well, this poor guy had bad teeth. Really bad teeth, and he opted to have them ALL PULLED OUT. Well, one day, he unexpectedly grabbed me and kissed me. Sort of. My face kinda sunk into his face, cause there were no teeth to stop it. I feel kinda bad about it now, but back then it was “Eeeeeewwwwww! Don’t do that again!”
I remember another guy who French kissed, and I thought of him as “marshmallow tongue”….. Also, there was one guy who had me so turned on every time he kissed me in a cocktail lounge, that I had to keep running to the bathroom to hose myself down. Too bad it wasn’t any of my husbands……..
First kiss was planted on me by one of two brothers who were amazing good kissers – I’m horrified to admit I can’t remember WHICH one was my first kiss-er! But really, they were cute and cool and wonderful guys to practice kisses on. I perfected my kissing skills with them.
Another memorable – in a bad way – story deals with a boy I worshipped from afar from first grade forward – he was a year older and in my brother’s class and I was always too shy to talk to him. Fast forward to the summer before college, when suddenly we had the same group of friends and found out we had all sorts of things in common (he took me to my first Springsteen concert!). But when he kissed me, it was an INSULT to kissing. It was so. very. bad. I gave him three tries, thinking it HAD to be a fluke, but alas he just stank at kissing. Amazingly, we became good frieds and are still friends to this day! (I kept my score on his kissing to myself, of course.)
I wrote this as a blog entry.
hai
First kiss was planted on me by one of two brothers who were amazing good kissers – I’m horrified to admit I can’t remember WHICH one was my first kiss-er! But really, they were cute and cool and wonderful guys to practice kisses on. I perfected my kissing skills with them.
Another memorable – in a bad way – story deals with a boy I worshipped from afar from first grade forward – he was a year older and in my brother’s class and I was always too shy to talk to him. Fast forward to the summer before college, when suddenly we had the same group of friends and found out we had all sorts of things in common (he took me to my first Springsteen concert!). But when he kissed me, it was an INSULT to kissing. It was so. very. bad. I gave him three tries, thinking it HAD to be a fluke, but alas he just stank at kissing. Amazingly, we became good frieds and are still friends to this day! (I kept my score on his kissing to myself, of course.)