By Mir
March 22, 2005

Yeah… that was the sound of my bubble bursting.

Oh well. Up and down and round and round. Tomorrow will be better.

In the meantime, my son is inching towards something huge. I almost missed it, in the midst of everything that’s been going on with Chickadee. Also, I have to confess that I haven’t been entirely receptive to his progress. Because that’s the sort of rotten mother that I am!

Anyway, I have a perfectly logical excuse for failing to recognize what’s going on with Monkey, right away: how the hell was I supposed to know?

I don’t know if I’ve ever let on about this, but… well… I’m kinda tired. Something about working full time and taking care of two kids and spending too much time on the computer and a wee bit of stress and blah blah blah, whatever, I don’t get enough sleep.

When I don’t get enough sleep, I get tired and cranky. When I’m tired and cranky, and perhaps, I dunno, sleeping, and someone shows up at my pillow wanting to make smalltalk, I’m not really thinking about milestones.

I’m thinking, How can I make this stop immediately so that I can go back to sleep?

But after three nights of visits from a very chatty Monkey, I figured it out. He’s waking up to use the bathroom. Only, he doesn’t know it. He figures, he’s awake, perhaps this would be a good time to come share with me his theory on how they get the sprinkles onto the pop-tarts. Or to tell me that he is really a very fast runner. Or to ask me if I’m sleeping right now.

And so once my sleepy brain had that important epiphany, I was able to cut the conversation short with a sense of purpose.

Me: Hey, let’s go use the potty!
Him: No thanks, I don’t have to go.
Me: Yes you do! Let’s go!
Him: No I don’t.
Me: Yes, really, you do. C’mon.
Him: *as we head to the bathroom* No. I’m fine. No thank you. And there’s a Pokemon I want.
Me: That’s nice. Pull your pants down.
Him: I don’t have to pee.
Me: *pulling his pants down* That’s nice. Sit down.
Him: I don’t have to pee.
Me: That’s nice. Point down, please.
Him: I don’t have to pee. Did you know that Martian Manhunter is sometimes intangible? That means he’s invisible.
Me: That’s nice.
Him: *peeing approximately half a gallon* I don’t have to pee. Daddy is gonna give me Red Tornado if I’m good.
Me: That’s nice. Good job, buddy. Let’s go back to bed.
Him: *as I’m carrying him back to his room* I didn’t really have to pee. And I’m not tired.
Me: That’s nice. Night, sweetie.

The dry mornings are nice. How long before we can skip the chat, do you suppose?


  1. ben

    I did not know that about Martian Manhunter. Learn something new every day.

    Oh, and I bet the chatty phase doesn’t last long. Better than the alternative, I guess.

  2. Nancy

    Funny … you sound just like me at that hour of the night.
    “Umm Huh, that’s nice”
    Mom dialect I suppose

  3. Jenny

    Hee! Boys are total talkers.

    We’ve been doing the bathroom shuffle for months with our son, and still he doth protest mightily “Nay! Away, woman! My bladder will not betray me!”

    I’m all, dude, let go.

  4. Jenn

    The next time my husband launches into a big (one-sided)conversation while I’m trying to go to sleep, I shall ask him if he has to pee!

    So what is his theory about how they get the sprinkles on the poptarts?

  5. Zuska

    My money is on Martian Manhunter: first he goes all intangible, and THEN he sneaks into the pop tart factory and puts the sprinkles on ’em. The Bats might give him some cool tool from his utility belt to speed the process, or Flash might be useful if there’s an extra big batch of pop tarts to garnish…

    But I digress! Congrats to Monkey on this monumental milestone. I don’t know why kids’ brains aren’t wired to instantly make the connection that they have to PEE in the middle of the night instead of CHAT, but my two did the same thing at first.

  6. Katie

    Way to go Monkey!

  7. lu

    WooHoo! Hooray for dry Monkey pants.

  8. Dawnie

    That’s great news, and a huge step in the right direction. And props to you for making the connection before he did. (Also, how you do it? I do not know. I barely have the energy for the job and my 2 cats, and I haven’t updated in DAYS. You are my hero.)

  9. Summer

    You’ve just popped a bubble of my own. In our house, we often have conversations like this:

    ME: Can you tell Daddy who you played with today?
    BOY: John. Sam. Thomas! Number One! Blue Engine!

    He’s two. And now I know that I’ll be having conversations like this for the next three years or more. This isn’t news I wanted to hear.

    Here’s hoping you get dry sheets and uninterrupted sleep soon.

  10. Busy Mom

    Oh, that is so Busy Boy. He’s nearly 9 and we still have to do that.

  11. dave

    Go Monkey, Go!

    No, Monkey, in the potty, in the potty!

  12. Amy

    He wakes up! I’m impressed! My oldest gets up, walks to the bathroom, uses the facilities, goes back to bed – all while sleeping. Next morning, no memory of said event. Or of how the pee got all over the bathroom floor. Congrats Monkey!!

  13. Bob

    Promise him a Charzard if he goes to the potty w/out making it a party.

    (at least, when mine were small and into Pokemon, Charzard was IT.)

  14. Amanda B.

    That is so adorable. He sounds like a cutie pie. Little Monkey chats at 2am…. :D

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