If you were here right now, you would behold before you a woman transformed. A woman languid and tousled and warm and blissful and flushed with the ultimate ecstasy.
That’s right. This very moment? I am still basking in the afterglow of nine uninterrupted hours of sleep.
And my wondrous children? Bless their little hearts. Other than a tell-tale trail of pop-tart crumbs (which–come on–is a small price to pay), you can’t even tell they were up.
Anyway, as my week progressed I realized that I was developing some sort of weird repetitive stress injury in my elbow. So when I was granted Ye Olde Big Office Stuff Catalog I ordered a wrist rest, and I am really looking forward to receiving it. Because, you know, you’ve arrived once you have a wrist rest. And also my elbow hurts and I would like it to stop.
But this morning–fortified with all that delicious sleep–I realized the error of my assumption. It came to me in a flash, really. My elbow pain has nothing to do with the setup of my workspace. It more likely has everything to do with the ever-full bowl of peanut M&Ms that sits along the route between my office and the bathroom. (I drink about a gallon of water a day; you do the math.)
Answers to yesterday’s true/false tidbits beneath the fold. Don’t peek if you haven’t guessed yet!
1) RockStar Mommy‘s faith in me notwithstanding, sadly, this item is completely true. Both in that I broke the website and that my boss now plans to torment me about it for the remainder of my life. Good times.
2) While the dog/pony and I are developing a very close and special relationship (get your mind out of the gutter, perv), I have never witnessed him stealing food. He’s an extraordinarily well-trained beast, which I guess is imperative when an animal is that large. (I have not yet seen the “Who, ME?” look, although I must say he has the “I’m starving to death, all 115 pounds of me” and “I am unloved and so sad” looks down pat.) This was the false item.
3) Yes, I outgeeked my favorite geekmaster. Against my will, might I add. Rest assured that during said training I was mostly indulging in the mental replay of my favorite sexual fantasies rather than absorbing any information.
4) This wasn’t quite as bad as it sounds. Okay, fine; maybe it was. But the customer had asked for 40 additional [things that I can’t talk about here] and so it wasn’t like I invented the number 40. I did think proposing beef jerky instead of what they wanted might’ve been entertaining, but my boss didn’t go for it.
Am I not the very definition of a value-added employee? I expect to be receiving a raise very soon. I shall spend the extra on a brace for my beleaguered elbow.