My scanner is hosed

By Mir
February 10, 2005

We must be getting close to Valentine’s Day, because the word scanner is taking on a (unintended!) decidedly sexual connotation for me…. (Sorry, Dad.)

Anyway, if my scanner was working, I could actually show you this masterpiece of art and creativity sitting in front of me. However, my scanner (insert chuckle here) is being tempermental and so you will just have to trust me that after a long day, this particular project made me laugh so hard, tears came to my eyes.

Today was the 100th day of school! That’s exciting! I don’t know why, but apparently it is. And since first grade in public school is so challenging and inventive (and monkeys fly out of my butt), part of the celebration was to give each child a fake $100 bill and a story sheet headed “If I had a hundred dollars….”

Chickadee the vegetarian/veterinarian did not disappoint.

If I had a hundred dollars…
I would buy a baby sister because most people I no have baby sisters.

But that? That, my friends, is not the best part. The best part is the picture. There is a large building labelled “HOSPITAL” with a small baby dressed in pink, inside. The baby has a little speech balloon wherein she proclaims, “goo goo gaa gaa.” Aaawwwwww!!

And the little girl outside–presumably Chickadee–is clutching her $100 bill and declaring “I got cash!”

I’m a little disappointed, of course, that Chickadee hasn’t yet grasped all the subtle nuances of black market baby trade. The money should be in an envelope at the very least. And “I think we can reach an agreement” would make more sense than “I got cash.” Still–it’s not bad.

She got a little annoyed with me when I asked her if she was going to drop out of school and take care of the baby, though. “Don’t be SILLY, Mama!” she huffed.

Indeed. Let’s not be silly.


  1. Fraulein N

    Hee! My favorite part is the “I got cash!” I think I saw that in a commercial once. Sadly, it was not for babies.

  2. Robin

    I love those ridiculous projects that spawn our children to do fabulous things.

  3. ben


    My son sometimes says he wants to go ask the Judge to send his brother somewhere else…

    So far all his money goes for Gameboy and/or candy, not a sister…

  4. Amanda B.

    Well, better get on the little sister, Mama! ;)

  5. Tish

    We had to glue 100 things onto a posterboard – anything. SOme did cheerios, others feathers, others candy. My daughter chose glow in the dark stars with gold marker outlining them on a black posterboard. Genius you say? I know,its hard to raise them but someone has to carry on the bloodline.

  6. udge

    Hilarious! My sister said when she had her second child, that the first felt no sibling rivalry at all: she was delighted that Mom had got her this cool new toy.

    Hang in there girl: it’s Friday today, the first week is nearly behind you.

  7. dad

    You gotta love that kid.
    She is a great source of creative material for your blog. I conjure up the scenario where you sit down to do a post but have writers block. No problem! Have a 20 second conversation with Chicadee and use the wealth of insights that spill forth from the well of an unencumbered mind.

    I hope she is not preping for a career as a used car salesman. I have much higher aspirations for her. Cash indeed!

  8. Beverly

    OMG! “I got cash!” just might be the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long, long while!

  9. diane

    Ha! When I was a little girl, I had to draw a picture in class one time of my family. I made up a younger sister named Cindy. (I’m an only child) I think I made up that we had a pet bird, too. Anyway, my Mom got called in for a conference because my teacher knew I had no siblings and found this distressing. The diagnosis? Just creative. Over the years my Mom would get called into school many times for my creativity….and always defended me. :)

  10. RockStar Mommy

    “I got cash” really is hysterical. I need to draw a picture like that – then maybe it will come true.

  11. Edgar

    Since you usually help me with my vocabulary issues, i can’t see any sexual connotation in the word “scan”… Will you help me?

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