Fool-proof potty training

By Mir
February 8, 2005

You, too, can enjoy 10 easy steps to dryness! Because I said so!

1) Sing the joys of the potty to your toddler. Celebrate every time older sister uses the facilities.

2) Throw a party every time said toddler deigns to park his tush on the seat.

3) Buy toddler a private jet once he starts using the potty reliably.

4) Work through the “must visit every bathroom every five minutes” stage with gritted teeth and remind oneself how much you don’t miss diapers.

5) After 6 months or so, casually ask your preschooler if he thinks he might try not peeing several gallons into his pull-up every night.

6) After a year, remind yourself that nighttime training often takes longer, especially with boys. And that’s okay.

7) After a year and a half, tentatively ask the pediatrician if your son is going to be wetting the bed in college.

8) Resign yourself to the nighttime pull-up. Put more money in the therapy fund.

9) Spend $79 on qualifying Huggies products at Amazon during their promotion. Receive 3 cases of pull-ups.

10) Marvel at the child’s sixth sense which causes the arrival of 6 months’ worth of pull-ups to coincide with sudden nighttime dryness for a record number of nights in a row.



  1. Jules

    Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy Monkey!!!

    Now…there is not too much enthusiasm there, for fear of jinxing said progress…

    ….and just in time for grad school *proud auntie*

  2. Norti

    Ooh. My oldest was like that. She’s 4 and a half. We were going through a fortune in Pullups. 4 packets a month, nearly 20 bucks a packet. Was driving me nuts!

    She would go to the bathroom FINE everywhere else she slept, BUT at home.

    I finally told her one day she’d have to start remembering to go to the bathroom or lie in a pool of her urine because I was sick of cleaning it up.

    Surprisingly, we no longer need them. Still the occasional accident, but no pullups needed!

    *rejoices* Now, if only her sister would stop pulling HER nappies off.

  3. JenL

    Hee! Did you not know that the way to ensure training progress would be to make an long term investment like that?

    Here’s to more progress!

    Maybe you can increase your good karma by giving the unneeded pullups to a shelter or something? You know…when the time comes.

  4. Suzanne

    I’m just impressed there’s a blog entry for today already! You’re the bomb sistah!

  5. Shiz

    Enjoy the dryness; sell the pull-ups on ebay later if you have to.

  6. Kristie

    Congrats to Monkey!!!

    My daughter used Pull Ups at night, then we had to graduate to Good-Nights because the Pull Ups just weren’t cutting it any more.

    One day I bought what I told my daughter was going to be the LAST bag of Good Nights because she’s a big girl and shouldn’t need them any more.

    We used ONE out of that bag. She has been accident free for two years and I still have that opened bag of Good Nights in the closet. ::sigh::

  7. Janet

    Yeah, it’s even MORE fun when it’s your elderly parent you have to remind to visit the bathroom every few hours or so…sigh. Maybe YOU know where I can get a loveseat cleaned for less than my left arm…

  8. Rebecca

    I finally figured out that my little 3 yo was just using her pullup at night because she was wearing it, so after we used the last one this weekend I told her that she has to get out of bed to use the potty from now on and crossed my fingers that we wouldn’t wake up to her wet sheets. Hurray, no such thing. Success! and i never have to buy those expensive money pits again, well not for her anyway.

    Hmm, whatever will you do with that 6 mo supply?

  9. Thumper

    Oh man, I wish they’d had Pullups when my kid was little. It would have been worth the investment to get him night-trained sooner. For his sake, I’ll be nice and not mention how OLD he was before he quit wetting the bed… =sigh=

    New parents (i.e. anyone in the last 10 years) get all the cool stuff…

  10. Tiny Coconut

    How old is Monkey again? Because N, who just turned 4, is so there. Well, the there before number 9. Except N also still wants a Pullup to poop in, too. But he changes into it himself, so I consider that a half-victory, and continue to assert that he’s potty-trained. Because, um, well, I’m clearly delusional.

    Sigh. I cannot believe that my first comment on your blog, which I adore, by the way, is about poop. Forgive me.

  11. Amanda B.

    Aww. That sweet little guy. I bet he is very proud. You can send those pull ups my way…i’ve always wanted to see if I could pull off that look…

  12. Mamacita

    I had visions of Zappa at his wedding, walking down the aisle in a tux, his bride on his arm, and a soaking diaper slapping between his ankles. But eventually they do learn. And it is very true that boys take way longer than girls. I think it’s because they honestly don’t care.

  13. Mary

    My brother wet the bed up to about a year ago. He’s 20 now. Yeah. So wetting the bed in college? Really not all that funny.

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