I rolled into my first day of work, spent some time in HR filling out my various paperwork, and then set about getting my computer up and running. I appreciate that my new employers believed me capable of doing a complete wipe and install of my new machine, and I repaid their confidence by taking the entire rest of the day to get that stupid box to acknowledge that it was part of the office network. I especially enjoyed my chat with the offshore support rep who is the reason people like me end up unemployed for months on end.
That left me very little time to read blogs, surf porn, make long-distance calls, and chat with my friends on Instant Messenger. Fortunately I was able to squeeze in the pilfering of some office supplies before I left to pick up the kids, so the day wasn’t a total wash.
I’m so glad I decided not to blog about the new job. I love it when I make smart decisions like that. I mean, really, did you think I did all of that on my very first day? How stupid would I have to be to have done that, on my first day, and then blogged about it? Chances are I won’t get to all of that until next week at the earliest. And by then my kids will do something amusing and I’ll be busy blogging about that.
See, I’m the kind of moron who will end up outing her blog to her coworkers, so just imagine me in a generic office somewhere, wearing the cone of silence. I have lots of snacks there in the cone with me, but no blog access.