More information without pesky details

By Mir
January 25, 2005
Category Job? Huh?

Thanks for sharing my excitement! I posted earlier and then floated away on a cloud of warm fuzzy happiness, murmuring “I will not have to sell my house, I will not die unemployed!” Or maybe I just went out to lunch with some friends because I realized that 1) I hadn’t eaten in about 20 hours and 2) Hey! I can eat out! Like a person with money!

Anyway, I would love to tell you all every single detail of my new employment, except that if I did that, then I’d have to kill you all and bury the evidence, and what with taking on a new career and all, I figure I might not have time for that. Instead I will tell you virtually nothing, but feel free to squeal and whatnot, anyway.

So. I shall gush! But in a non-identifying sort of way!

This is not Just A Job. This is The Job I’ve Been Looking For. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a good job, a job that uses your brain, after staying home with your children for close to five years? If you answered that question “No,” please go thank the Lord above RIGHT NOW that you don’t know. If you answered “Yes! Oh GOD YES I KNOW YOUR PAIN!” then you are not only pretty and smart, but you know that finding a career-building job at this point was nothing short of miraculous.

And this job, it’s going to take everything I used to do–you know, back when people referred to my skills as “expertise” and my degrees hung on the wall as if they meant something–and use that as a foundation to move me in a related but different direction. I’m going to learn tons.

Oh! And! The BENEFITS! I could go ON AND ON about the benefits, but as that would be GIVING DETAILS I shall not. Other than to say, I love and want to marry and make sweet passionate love to each and every company benefit. I may have already slipped some tongue to the health care benefits, shhhhhh. So this job, it’ll give me everything I shall ever need, skillwise, to move on to other jobs, but PSHAW I say, because I shall work this job until I DIE because these benefits just DO NOT EXIST anywhere else. My employers will need to morph into baby-eating aliens from the planet Zorku for me to even CONSIDER leaving, and EVEN THEN I will probably have a lengthy conversation with myself about how baby-eating is perfectable acceptable in some cultures and I should try being less judgemental.

And and and and oh just BELIEVE ME that it’s fabulous and wonderful and magical. I am WALTZING.

And the rawhide bone? Had much the desired effect. I have a new best friend. Also? Anyone know how to get the smell of wet dog outta leather boots…?

24 Comments

  1. Jennifer

    Crank it up! A bunch of folks are out here waltzing with you. Heartiest of heartfelt congratulations on finally finding The One Who Knows A Good Thing When They See It.

  2. jadedprimadonna

    Congrats on the job! Gives the rest of us desperately searching for something decent a little hope!

  3. Rebecca

    What do you care? You can buy new boots now…:)

  4. nina

    That is truly wonderful–congratulations!

  5. Tish

    Congrats on the job!! I am a big Joshilyn fan and am pulling for her to hit the bestselling list the first week.
    You have a cool blog here. Come see me sometime.
    Tish

  6. RockStar Mommy

    Holy crap, I’m a total fool for not realizing in your last post that you got the job!! What’s wrong with me today?? Anyway…

    I’m totally squealing for you over here, so excited! Congratulations! I’ve been praying for you & I’m so glad to see something good happen for such a good person!

  7. Alice

    Congratulations, you benefits-loving slut, you.

  8. Scott

    Planet Zorku totally gets a bum rap for that baby eating stuff. It’s really not that bad. They only eat the kids that eat glue and sniff their fingers a lot. I say “eat all you want, Zorkunians!”

    Congrats again!

  9. annie

    How cool! Congratulations!

  10. L.

    I am totally envious. I threw my career-searching towel in and applied for disability like a plucked chicken. Maybe I can at least get paid for being a Domestic Nutcase Diva.

  11. Mary Jo

    Congrats on the new job :)

    I want that too!!

  12. rudolf

    Hm…maybe I can apply to become a benefit at your new place of employ.

  13. Bob

    See – your luck held thanks to the fmb’s (and a shower)! Those boots should be put away and brought out for the really important occasions, like getting snow blower man to stop at your house. (It won’t hurt that you’ll have some long green now too).

    Congratulations.

    (If textiles keep on going offshore I may be calling. Gotta love a place with sensuous benefits.)

  14. Suzanne

    ha ha ha. you crack me up!

  15. Karen

    Good for you, li’l buckaroo!

  16. Ben

    I just wanted to say: Good luck, and…

    Aw, crap, that one’s old even to me. So I’ll say congrats, and that I’m doing a serious happy dance for you (which, I believe, has scared the dogs and kids away for a bit)

    And I’m glad you made friends with the Dorse, you never know, they can come in handy sometimes.

    Now everybody sing along:

    We’re a-movin on up (movin on up)
    To theeee top (movin’ on up)
    To the deeeelux apartment in the sky-y-y
    We’re a-movin on up (movin on up)
    To the top
    We’ve finally got a piece of the PIE!

    (see, it all comes back to pie)

  17. T. Marie

    Congrats!! You give those of us still (or once again) on the job search hope that we too can find ‘the Job’ with benefits that we can also slip some tongue to. Way to go girl! You rock!

  18. Katie

    Woohoo! Congratulations and enjoy those benefits! Which of course include a paid hour of blogging time every day right?

  19. Michele

    Just use protection when you make love to the benefits…

  20. Fraulein N

    Wowzers. I hadn’t realized it was the Job You’ve Been Looking For. That? Is awesome.

  21. Amanda

    Woot!

  22. Michele

    Oh Mir, That’s wonderful news!
    Congrats congrats congrats!

  23. Shiz

    This sounds like such an awesome job for you, and I am very thrilled that you have this cool new job with benefits you could hump. I considered applying for another positon ast week but my salary and benefits are WAY TOO GOOD to give up for just anything, so I passed. I could make sweet, sweet love to the crazy amount of paid holidays I get, and when I consider the years I had with no paid holidays whatsoever I am very, very, very grateful. Hooray for you!

Things I Might Once Have Said

Categories

Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest