1) Upon arriving home from school, the children won’t stop bickering. You…
A) Lock them in the basement.
B) Knock their heads together.
C) Sell them to the gypsies.
D) Convince them that you’re having a blast whitewashing the fence vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning, and get them to spend an hour working for you!

2) Your parents are coming for the weekend. However, the children will be going to their father’s for the night, and you have a dress rehearsal Saturday morning. You…
A) Don’t mention this to your folks.
B) Piss your ex off by changing plans at the last minute.
C) Risk the choir director’s wrath and plan to skip rehearsal.
D) Detail the situation to your visitors in an email and suggest they plan to arrive on Saturday.

3) Assuming you answered D, above, your parents…
A) Agree it makes the most sense to come on Saturday.
B) Call you Friday night… from the halfway point…
C) To say they don’t want to wake the kids…
D) And have to be reassured that coming now is fine.
E) Will be tormented mercilessly about their inability to read.

4) You’ve had four hours of sleep. The house is still messy. Guests are arriving in a few hours. You…
A) Run around like a madwoman, cleaning every crevice, and making everything perfect.
B) Have some more caffeine.
C) Remember that it’s possible that these people are aware that your house is messy, and the chances of them calling CPS are slim.
D) Throw a pie in the oven and watch “What Not To Wear.”

5) There are three baskets of clean, unfolded laundry sitting in your bedroom. You…
A) Dutifully set to work sorting, folding, and putting away.
B) Hide the baskets.
C) Swear loudly when you trip on one and spill your Diet Coke with Lime.
D) Figure that if you push them against the wall in a straight line that’s pretty much like cleaning up.

6) It is 11:10 and you are still waiting on your visitors. On four hours of sleep. You…
A) Head to bed.
B) Have some more caffeine.
C) Move.
D) Remind yourself that if you manage to stay up until they arrive, you can have a piece of pie.