The mentally ill would be me, of course; and maybe Joshilyn, but we are going to forgive her for planting the image of people buttering dogs in my mind on account of she is pretty and nice and a published writer. Also I’m afraid she might kill me in my sleep if I speak ill of her. (Haha! Just kidding, Joss! Don’t hurt me!)
Today I learned the following useful things:
- It is possible to have a hangover from two drinks.
- It is only marginally cheering, while hungover, to reminder oneself that this is mostly a result of being thin.
- A woodpecker on the side of the house is undeterred by thumping on the wall.
- A woodpecker on the side of the house does not, however, like it when you lift the shade, press your forehead to the window, and scream at it.
- It’s probably okay to think to oneself that a tragic accident and resultant coma would be an acceptable excuse from a jackass who neglected to call.
- But it’s not okay to wish there was a tragic accident and resultant coma.
- The supermarket always has “Buy 1, Get One FREE!” on things that already come in massive quantities. Anyone need a sack of potatoes?
- The supermarket sells beer and wine, but not liquor.
- I’ve lived here for almost five years and I have no idea where my closest liquor store is.
- It seems like having a bottle of liquor would prevent the problems inherent with consuming wine past its prime, but just not having any alcohol in the house will probably work just as well.
- Water is good stuff.
- That is, the cold kind to drink, and the hot kind to shower in.
- When your hair hurts, it’s time to go back to bed.