By Mir
December 2, 2004

Huh. Nearly noon, and I am still unemployed. I know, I know… I’m shocked, too. Well. Maybe I’ll give them a little more time.

In other news–beware the Apocalypse! Because it’s upon us, I tell you! How many signs of the Apocalypse are there supposed to be, anyway? I forget. But! I do know that ONE OF THOSE SIGNS has just come to pass, so, being the friendly people-person that I am, I just wanted to pass the information along.

Oh. You want to know which sign? Okay.

But before I tell you, I have to tell you that I have the most wonderful friends in the whole entire world. This is a Very Good Thing, even in times of impending doom. Maybe especially in those times. A friend who really knows and understands you is invaluable. And I have more than one such friend, so I am quite blessed.

Anyway. One of those fabulous friends called me up today, and told me she needed to tell me something. But that I needed to sit down first.

“Okaaaay…?” I hedged, running through the possibilities in my mind. She was moving away? She’d heard some awful about me, or my children? A world-wide chocolate shortage?? The suspense was killing me.

“I’m serious,” she said. “Are you sitting down, really?”

“Yes!” I was. Thank goodness.

“Okay,” she said. “Don’t freak out, please. Okay? Promise?”

“YES!” I said. Okay, on that one I lied. Just try to make me promise not to freak out. I mean, good intentions are nice and all, but COME ON.

And then came one of the harbingers of the end of humanity as we know it: My phone number had been requested. By a MAN. A man whom I’ve MET and spent some time with, who’s SEEN me and TALKED to me and STILL for some reason wants to talk to me SOME MORE. A man who is SINGLE and MY AGE and DECIDEDLY CUTE. A man who was INTERESTING and knows I have CHILDREN.

Obviously he is on CRACK.

It was a good thing I was sitting down.

Some more conversation came, after that, but it’s all kind of cloudy. I was busy envisioning the 1,001 possible embarrassing and/or tragic endings to this scenario. I think I’ve got them all covered, now. Phew.

But still… the friend who threw the party where I met the man? Who knows me well enough to know my reaction before it happens? Who furthermore knows me well enough to exclaim, “It’s okay! You don’t have to be excited! I’ll be excited for you!”? She’s getting chocolate.


  1. Mike

    SEEEEEE? This is vindication for all of us out here who keep thinking “no WAY there isn’t a perfectly nice good looking single guy out there to appreciate the Mir we know and love!” Or at least one who’s got some potential! Good luck, you!! *hugs*

  2. Busy Mom

    Mir’s got a boyfriend, Mir’s got a boyfriend…

  3. Liz

    Obviously a man who knows quality and refinement when he sees it. Hubba, hubba, ding, ding, that Mir’s got everything! (As my kids would say)

  4. Peek

    Screw the job, looks like you have a man instead!!! You could screw him too!! LOL.

  5. Amanda

    It must be the glasses! The fact that you are fabulous is obviously secondary.

  6. Katie

    But does he like Cool Whip? hehehe *mind in the gutter*

  7. alektra

    Just remember, he has to pass muster first! And you have to come up with a nickname after three dates, so you know.

  8. Ben

    I was ok till I got to Katie’s comment.

    Now? There is a mouthful of Chick-fil-A Waffle fries on my Dell flatscreen monitor.

    But, there were these four dudes here earlier, getting hay for their horses…

  9. Sheryl

    Sqeeeee! How great for you! Can’t wait for the next installment! This is waaay better than the moon turning to blood.

  10. Jenny

    Wooo! Bring on the apocalypse!

  11. vics

    ahhh, finally, a sign that intelligent men DO in fact exist… and the fact that he’s cute also obviously signifys some nefarious plot to destroy the world – I concur with Alektra, a nickname is mandatory – will he be Satan? or one of the 4 horsemen? just don’t let it be pestilence…

  12. Jenn

    Hooray for you! Just remember: don’t buy him the LL Bean slippers, ever. They spell doooooooom. ;)

  13. Kira

    HEEHEE. Toldja.
    (ps as a Good Friend once told me, You’re CUTE when you’re a pain in the ass.)

  14. Shiz

    Let’s be GLAD he’s on the crack, baby!

    Hoory for YOU, girl!

  15. supine

    Helloooo, I had to come out of the woodwork and wish you luck with the Prospective Boy-toy. Can’t wait to hear about the first phone call!

  16. ben

    Okay, the Slippers of Doom. That needs to be in a movie, somewhere, preferrably one containing hobbitses.

  17. Hoyt

    Direct him to this blog, and if he doesn’t fall head over heels in love with you, then he doesn’t deserve you. Of course, that’s a bit like saying, drop him out a window and if he doesn’t fall toward the ground, then he doesn’t deserve you. How could he HELP but falling, in either case? You are like a law of physics, a black hole of irresistable attraction!!! OK, I may be getting carried away now.

    You go, person! (pronouns indicating gender are automatically neutered by my 1970’s-era feminist-compatible language post-processor)

  18. Chasmyn

    Woohoo!!! I can’t wait to read about the date!

  19. MZM

    You go Girl and enjoy. I hope it works out for you

  20. Mindie

    Oh my goodness! I couldn’t stop laughing. I thought you were going to say something political! Seriously, I almost died of laughter. I am happy for you! I hope things work out with you two.

  21. Karen

    EEEEEEEEEK! Do not follow above advice about directing Cute Guy to this blog — then we won’t get to hear all about him! And we MUST hear all about him, unnerstan’??!!

  22. toni

    This is so cute. :) I hope it works out! If it doesn’t, well, at least you’ll have a new friend!

  23. Irene

    Hi, I sent you an e-mail at mir@wouldashoulda.com. Hopefully you’ll get it. I love your site!

  24. Lizt

    OMG! But, that’s great!

    Um…excuse me…but I’ve got to get to Home Depot and start building that bomb shel…I mean…I need some…um…TAPE! Yeah, that’s it – we’re all out of tape.

    **the sound of feet running**

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