Reason #823 why I am a child

By Mir
December 1, 2004
Category Job? Huh?

A company posts a job opening that says, “We challenge you to separate yourself from the pack – make it impossible for us not to consider you for this position!” They’re probably figuring people will extol their industry virtues and share their humanitarian interests.

Do you suppose they knew that I would write in to say that most people figure my brain fell out while I stayed home with my kids, but it’s not true? That only half my brain has atrophied, but the other half is stronger than ever? That my salary requirements are “enough to attain the lifestyle to which I’d like to become accustomed?” To point out all of the typos I found on their website? I felt a little bit badly about that, so then I offered to bake them cookies.

Yes, really. How is it possible that I am allowed to go about my life without constant supervision?

Cool Whip, anyone?


  1. JuJuBee

    So did you get an interview? ;)

  2. alektra

    I think this is AWESOME. I’d call you based on that, at least!

  3. Kimberly

    I once got an email asking that I resubmit my resume, with the years in which I got my degrees added. I wrote back that I would tell them my age, but their asking would be illegal. I also noted that business email should be written in complete sentences and should identify the company from which it came.

    I received a very tart CYA letter from one of the head honchos, stating that there were perfectly valid reasons they might want to know when I was in college… like they might have employees who’d been classmates of mine. Uh, yeah.

    It’s ironic that this was the one (newly updated) resume that I mistakenly sent out without graduation dates. I was in my late 30s – just about the age they would’ve expected with my experience. I didn’t get an interview, but I learned a lot about the company. Maybe you’ll learn that this company has a sense of humor.

  4. Allan

    That just rocks in so many ways. I too hope they have a sense of humor and give you a call.

    Pass the Cool Whip please.

  5. udge

    People who know how to spell do stand out these days. I’d give you an interview based on that e-mail. Good luck!

    Maybe you should start a web consultancy picking out grammatical and logical mistakes in websites? Stay at home and earn a buttload of money (in Roseanne’s memorable phrase).

  6. Sheryl

    If whoever is doing the hiring has kids, you’re in!

  7. Ben

    Did you know they make vanilla cool whip?

    I found that out on turkey day when I was served a slice of pumpkin pie with some on top.


    Oh, ok, back to you: You are so great, they need to hire you to run their human resources department. Duh!

  8. erin

    That’s awesome! Hopefully the person that receives your e-mail isn’t the same one that wrote their website. Something tells me they might not see the humor in your letter.

    I hope you get an interview – be sure to post about it if you receive a reply.

    Your site cracks me up.

  9. Lizt

    Ever have Cool Whip, frozen? Yep, like a whole new dessert experience.

    **closing the freezer door**

    So, what kind of cookies did you offer to bake?

  10. Coleen

    Congratulations! You’re hired!

  11. Shiz

    That’s AWESOME!!!!

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