Yesterday? Did something happen yesterday? What? LALALALALA! I can’t hear you! Tra la la, with God as my witness, I’ll never eat radishes again or allow people I barely know to mess with my head. Because frankly, I don’t give a damn. Or something. Okay? Okay!
Anyway, yesterday (yes, I’m back to yesterday, but this is something different) I resorted to a tried-and-true method of cheering myself up. I called my dear friend who is also a single mom and made plans for us to all get together for dinner. And by “made plans for us to all get together for dinner,” I mean we had the following conversation on the phone:
Me: Hey. Are you in a meeting or something?
Me: Oh, sorry. Call me later.
Her: NO! I’m in the hall now, and you just got me out of that stupid staff meeting. Yay! What’s up?
Me: Invite us over to dinner.
Me: Please? You have leftovers. I’ll bring bread.
Her: Ummm… okay. Hey, wanna come to dinner?
Me: You’re the best. What time?
Her: I’m picking up Boing around 4:15.
Me: Okay, I’ll get Monkey then, too. See you around 4:30.
Her: Uhhhh, Mir?
Her: You okay?
Me: Fanfuckingtastic. Seeya later.
Wasn’t it nice of her to invite us to dinner?
Children were collected, and we assembled at my friend’s house for a Very! Exciting! Evening! Because! Boing had just received The Crocodile Dentist and was dying to play it. So play it we did, and it turns out that a big plastic crocodile head that randomly snaps shut is a whole lotta entertainment for three children six and under.
This enabled my friend and me to sit in her kitchen and discuss our respective days’ events, together. It hadn’t really been a winner of a day for either of us. But after some discussion my friend doled out the kind of compassion that makes me love her so. There really is nothing in the world more valuable than friends who understand you.
Her: You win! You can put your head in the crocodile, and I’ll push on the teeth until it chomps you!
I heart her.
As it turned out, it was a veritable feast of quotable quotes last night. There’s nothing like a little misery-loves-company to perk a person up, I tell you. The following is but a sampling.
Friend: OY! That NOISE! See, this is why I could never have two kids. You have two, which means that one of them is ALWAYS making that noise. At least I have a 50/50 shot at some peacefulness.
Monkey: Feeeeeeed me!
Me: I am not going to feed you.
Monkey: Feed! Me!
Me: No. Eat your dinner.
Monkey: Eat me!
Me: *looking down at my plate, trying not to laugh*
Friend: *laughing her ass off*
Monkey: EAT! ME!
Everyone: *laughing our asses off*
Boing: *to her mother* I am going to bite you!
Friend: No, don’t bite me.
Me: Yeah, bite Monkey. I hear he’s looking for someone to eat him.
Chickadee: Now you take this and I will tell you what to draw. And I’ll tell you where to put it. Not yet, I haven’t told you how to do it yet.
Friend: The nice thing about having you over is that it really makes me feel better about any worries I might have about Boing being too bossy.
So, a delightful evening, all in all. Nothing soothes the soul like a good tormenting from your children and a loved one who really gets you.
By the way? My head doesn’t fit in the crocodile.