I said what?

By Mir
November 17, 2004

You know it’s going to be a long day when you’ve said all the following by 8:00 AM:

“Please don’t stick your fingers up my nose.”

“Yes, you’re right, they do make a funny hat, but now I would like you to put your underwear on properly, please.”

“Yes, with toothpaste.”

“Is everything okay in your pants?”

“I would like to meet this ‘Not Me’ fellow and have a talk with him. Tell him to come see me the next time he’s around.”

“Be quiet and eat your pop-tart.” (Remember the days before children, when you and I and everyone else swore never to feed such dreck to our kids?)

“Stop. Talking. Please.”

“Hold still, you have gunk in your eyes.”


  1. Suzanne

    sounds very familiar! ha ha
    You’ve still got till lunch to say: “stop or you’ll poke your eye out” and “because I said so”. (I really hated that one as a kid, and now I use it all the time)

  2. rudolf

    I never said I’d never feed Pop-Tarts to my kids. Probably because I’ve always loved them. Just had one a couple minutes ago, as a matter of fact. Mmmm! And easy to eat while driving. Easier than typing this while driving. :-)

  3. ben


    I thought Rudy was going to say he didn’t feed his kids pop tarts because he loved his kids.

    We never have pop tarts around, “an open box is an empty box.”

    Like oreos..

    Crap, now I’m all hungry.

  4. rudolf

    LOL that’s what I get for typing in the car, ambiguousness like that. I do love my kid, that’s why I spoil her by letting her eat Pop-Tarts :-)

  5. Zuska

    I swear, I said each and every one of these statements this morning also! Except for the pop-tarts one. And substitute “Please stop stuffing your toys in my pajama pants – I’m trying to put on mascara!” for “Is everything okay in your pants.” Yep, just a typical morning!

  6. Summer

    My most recent “I can’t believe that sentence just came out of my mouth” statement to my child: “No, you can’t bite someone’s finger and then eat their french fries.” I often find myself asking “do you have a pants problem?”, but I like your wording too.

  7. Steve

    “Is everything okay in your pants?”

    Hah. I find that I’m asking that question of myself more and more often these days…

  8. Joshilyn

    better that “you have eyeboogers.”

  9. kayten

    I love it. Thanks for being a role model for those of us striking out on our own with little ones and angry exes in the rear-view mirror.

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