Because I signed myself up for the Do Not Call Registry as soon as it became available, instead of receiving eleventy billion unwanted calls every day, I only receive one or two. This reduction is a good thing. However, it has rendered my standard methods for dealing with telemarketers rather rusty.

It used to be, if I saw an “Unavailable” or unfamiliar number on the caller ID, I would scoop up the phone, say hello, and if there was even the slightest pause, I would hang up. That pause is when the person manning the Telemarketronic A5000 machine realizes there’s a human on the other end and scrambles to pick up the line and sell you something, you know. Nowadays, I’m off my game. Those unfamiliar calls might be job leads. They don’t come with enough regularity for me to identify and reject them as quickly as I used to.

Today, the phone rang and the Caller ID said only “UTAH” along with the phone number. Since I was pretty sure I hadn’t applied for any jobs in Utah, I figured this wasn’t a call that was going to change my life. And yet… I picked up the phone.

“Dooce? Is that you?”

Silence.

She must have been stunned into speechlessness by my charm and precognition. That’s alright. It turned out that Target called me about five minutes later to ask me for an interview, so it was a good thing I wasn’t on the phone (being sold something useless or having an imaginary conversation with one of the only normal people in Utah).

On the other hand, I’d love to know what she thinks I should wear to my interview.