Let’s take a quick inventory of my day thus far, shall we?

12:00 (Midnight): I think to myself, I should really go to sleep now.

12:45: I actually turn out the light.

1:25ish: I look at the clock and wonder why I’m still awake.

2:17: I am awakened by snivelling.

Him: *snivel* *whine* *whimper* *snotsucking*
Me: Huh? Wha? Monkey, what’s the matter?
Him: I can’t find teetee! Waaahhhhhhh!
Me: Oh, honey. It’s okay. C’mon, we’ll find him.
I get out of bed and follow him back to his room, where we commence searching for ye olde nasty comfort rag in the serene glow of his Thomas night light.
Him: It’s gone! It’s gone! My teetee! Gone! WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Me: Hang on, I’m still looking….
Him: Teeeeeeeeeeeteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Me: AHA! Here it is, buddy. It was stuck between the sheet and the blanket. Okay, now come lay down and go back to sleep.
Him: Teetee? You found teetee?
Me: Yes, baby. Here. Lay down and–
Him: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Me: ????
Him: I WANTED TO FIND TEETEE. NOT YOU. LOSE HIM AGAIN!
Me: I am going to try very hard not to get angry at you right now, but it is the middle of the night and you need to stop this and go back to sleep.
Him: I WANTED TO FIND HIM! BAD MAMA!
Me: Yeah, okay. Good night. I’m going back to bed, thankyouverymuch.
Him: NOOOOO DON’T LEAVE ME!!

Those of you without kids? Run out and have some as soon as possible. This is way better than just getting to sleep at night. Yes.

I ended up going back to my bed and down to his room again a few more times before I could get him to be quiet. There’s nothing like a few laps in the middle of the night, I say. Now you all know the secret to my youthful figure. And that’s how it was that…

… 7:22: OH MY GOD I OVERSLEPT IT’S LATE GET UP GET DRESSED WE’RE LATE GET MOVING!!!

7:41: Crap, I never got groceries. Lunches… lunches… who wants… crackers? Yummy crackers! With… um… raisins! Yes! And… napkins! And a juice box! And… pickles? Oh well. They never eat what I pack, anyway.

7:58: We round the corner to the bus stop (in the car, on account of it is still pouring) in time to see the bus come around the opposite corner and start slowing for the stop. Yesterday’s little assisted-drag to the bus stop apparently didn’t scar Chickadee for life, but did teach her something, because that girl hopped out of the car, waited for my signal to cross, then sprinted over to the bus, turned and ran back to me, kissed me, and ran right up onto the bus. Ahhh.

8:08: Monkey kisses me good-bye and runs off to play with his classmates.

8:22: I return to the house and have a refreshing and nutritious breakfast of… granola bars. I really need to get to the store.

11:29 (now): I finally leave for the store. Because that’s the sort of immediate action kinda woman I am. Look out, world! I have coupons!