So I was chatting with my dear Jilbur this fine evening, and she asked me for my zip code. I gave it, along with a snarky comment about how she must be sending me a sympathy card (it’s been that kind of a day). Nope, no card. What she offered, instead, was a link to Match.com profiles for available men in my area.

Now that, dear readers, would’ve been scary enough. Some of those pictures reminded me that I am indeed a stranger in a strange land. Heh. But the ultimate horror was not to present itself until later, as I continued to page through with a mixture of fear and fascination.

I wondered; how can you really know someone from the information they choose to present to you on a dating website? These men could be animals. They could be killers, rapists, WWF fans, taxidermists! How would you know? How would it be possible for someone like me–a skeptic, at best; a pessimist, at worst–to bridge the gap of disbelief and allow that not only are there good, available men out there, but they are advertising themselves this way? Perhaps I am being a snob, I told myself. Perhaps I should at least allow for the possibility.

Whatever infinitesimal chance at open-mindedness I’d had was erased by a single profile. The gentleman in question sounded fabulous. Great education, varied interests, funny, and a father to boot (waxing smitten on his kids, no less). He claimed to love a multitude of romantic activities that I haven’t had the pleasure of since long before my marriage. He sounded to good to be true, really. Because he is.

Yes, the ex has a profile on Match. Given his penchant for science fiction, I guess the majesty and extent of his truth-bending shouldn’t surprise me. The clincher? In the same sentence where he claims to be a very devoted father, he gets the kids’ ages wrong.

P.S. Adding a clarification: I neglected to share that a couple of weeks ago the ex claimed that he and the MOB have decided to “just be friends for now,” which I of course took to mean she dumped him. But I was sitting on this info because I wasn’t sure it was true. According to Match he’s been active in the last day, so I guess she’s history.