I have recently discovered–through my stepmom–the miracle that is Infusium. Chickadee has been swimming all summer long and her hair has all but turned to straw. I’d switched to a sun-n-swim type shampoo, and that was helping, but her hair was still a long way from feeling like hair. During our trip home, Grandma broke out all her Infusium products for Chickadee and goodness and softness were restored to her world.

So I returned home and bought the shampoo, the conditioner, and the leave-in spray treatment. On account of I’m an awesome mother. And possibly also because I’d used them on my own hair and really liked them, too. All of these new potions had been living in the kids’ bathroom, and this morning I stole the shampoo and conditioner back for my own use.

There I was in the shower, sudsing up, and reading the shampoo bottle. Because, well, the bottle was right there. Large letters at the top inform me that this is the Original Infusium. Damn straight, I think while I lather my hair. Accept no substitutes! But halfway down the bottle, in slanty print–this conveys excitement, you see, because the news is so fabulous that even the font can’t stand up straight–it boasts “New Formula!” Huh? I checked the conditioner; same thing.

Someone in their marketing department needs to stop inhaling the hair products. Otherwise I am totally going to apply to be their new Vice President of Finance.