Me: Blahbity blah blah summer blah blah surgery blah blah hormones blah blah medication blah blah anxiety blah blah I probably should’ve come in sooner.
Therapist: *nodding* *listening intently* Thank goodness you’re feeling better.
Me: Yeah but blahbity blah blah lonely blah blah stupid ex blah blah cattle call job interviews blah blah Russian child bride!
Therapist: *makes snarky comment about the ex*
Me: *snorting into my coffee* I love you. In a non-lesbian, non-stalking, completely appropriate doctor/patient kind of way, of course.
Me: Anyway, blahbity blah blah medication blah blah wait and see blah blah lonely lonely blah blah must find a job blah blah oh guess what, I’m a moron and sent email to The Toad when I was feeling really low blah blah still lonely blah blah hate men yet want one blah blah I’m a MORON.
Therapist: Cut yourself some slack. You’ve had a hard year. What you’re feeling is completely normal.
Me: Oh. *pause* Yeah, I think you’re right.
Therapist: See you next week.