Things I can do on a Friday night when my kids aren’t here:

• Consume my body weight in pepperoni pizza.
• Take off my pants and throw them in the washer (when I drip sauce on them).
• Walk around pantsless for the rest of the evening.
• Turn my music up loud enough to make the china rattle a little.
• Watch anything I want to on TV.
• Shout at the Olympic commentators to STFU already and show something interesting.
• Ignore the laundry.
• Crank up the air conditioning.
• Admire how clean the kids’ rooms are.
• Eat sweet potato pie. Straight from the pie plate. In bed.
• Stay up as late as I like and know that no matter what, I can still sleep 8 (okay, 10) hours.