There is big news happening here in my house, and I know that there are hundreds–nay, perhaps thousands–of you out there, waiting with baited breath to hear every thrilling detail of my miraculous recovery. I do not wish to disappoint or even leave out a single marvelous detail of this riveting journey, so I am here to relay every moment with the full fanfare each of those moments so richly deserves. I am. I will. Just as soon as I pry the cap off of this bottle and take a couple more of these magic pills which take me from wanting to curl up and die all the way to giggling a little while I wonder if it might be a good idea to curl up and die.
It’s been kind of a long day.
But the good news is, Lee and the missus have welcomed their newest bundle of joy! Stop reading my drugged ramblings here and go congratulate them!
Anyway, back to my day. Well. It’s been very exciting. My phone rings a lot, mostly when I’m sleeping. So I answer the phone and someone who loves me tells me how good I sound, and I play along until they stop talking. Then I hang up the phone and wonder who just called me, and then I fall asleep again. That’s sort of fun.
Then, of course, there is my very busy schedule of hobbling to the bathroom to pee because I can’t remember if I’ve peed recently or not. It’s very important to empty the bladder regularly so as not to get a bladder infection, you know. After abdominal surgery there would really be no way to know if you have a bladder infection, anyway, because everything already hurts so much there’s no way you’d notice, but there ya have it.
So that all keeps me very busy, but somehow I manage to sandwich in Puzzling Over Intake, too. That consists mostly of staring at the little bottles on my nightstand and trying to remember what I took when, and can I have some more now and if not, when can I? Also I hobble into the kitchen periodically and grab something and bring it back to my bedside and consider eating it because I suspect there is a large hole being burned into my stomach from all the wonderful meds I am taking without eating. I have all sorts of yummy foods here and they all taste like… yellow jello. I think my taste buds have been permanently scarred from the Liquid Diet experience.
Oh, I also seriously considered taking a shower. That took up a good portion of my day. It merited serious consideration for an extended period of time. In the end, though, I opted for a nap instead. To compensate, I brushed my teeth about four times (that was easy enough, since I was in there peeing five hundred times, anyway).
It’s amazing how a full schedule like that can make a day just fly by. Will ya look at that… bedtime, already? Wow. Well, I am feeling a bit fatigued. I really shouldn’t push myself, so.