I am all done being useful to my fellow humans. Last night took it all out of me, and I don’t plan to be even slightly utilitarian again to another person for quite some time.

But before I disappear to tend to my own needs (yes, I have a need to clean the house, and maybe make some dinner, and watch a movie), let me make it crystal clear how much I am just not the go-to girl for ye olde random internet searcher. A sampling:

“Lonely local slutty girls on Maui”
I am lonely, but not for you, scumbag. Nor do I live on Maui, nor has anyone ever described me as slutty unless they were in fact using sarcasm to communicate that I was dressed like a nun.

“gingy Shrek stuffed”
Ummmm… huh??

“miriam mcdonald from degrassi pictures”
I may have confessed to watching this teeny-bopper program, but you’ll still have to find your teenage porn elsewhere, bud.

“ENTP hoarding”
Yes, I have an entire closet full of ENTP types I’m hoarding for just the right time. And you can’t have any!!

“sonohystogram” (3 hits!)
Ummmm yeah. Sonohystogram (I said it again). I had one. The information I shared about it would be superfluous to someone trying to learn more about the procedure. It was probably superfluous even for those who like to listen to me whine, but there you have it. Also? The link to my site? About 6 pages in on the search results. If you’re that desperate for information, call your doctor.

That is all.