Highlights from my Monday evening:
The Monkey declared “Oh Mama, THANK YOU! This is a dinner of all my most favorite things!” (Yes, I am a whiz with fish sticks, curly fries, and salad. Put the first two in the oven myself, and with the help of a pair of scissors to the corner of the bag, tossed the salad onto the plates.) I was willing to bask in the glow of this unsolicited appreciation, until I realized that after about two bites, the Monkey had stopped eating. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he wasn’t hungry.
The Chickadee regaled us with a tale of how R (a girl in her class) has a sister who’s old enough to be getting married (big news in and of itself), and she is getting married, and so R gets to be in the wedding! So she gets to have a new dress, and new shoes, and probably something new to wear in her hair! I commented that this was very exciting, R must be thrilled. Oh yes, she is, Chickadee agreed. It’s a lot of fun to get to be the flower girl, I said. Oh no, Mama, she’s not the flower girl, that was already taken. Oh, really? Well what is R doing in the wedding, then? Chickadee set down her fork, wiped her mouth with her napkin, and declared, “She’s going to be the reindeer!”
Somehow these events set the tone for the night. There was no sense or order to be found. I pleaded with them to finish picking at their dinner. I implored them to get through their showers more quickly, or at the very least, stand under the water instead of off to the side, whining about being soapy. I chased around a naked Monkey with a pull-up, then tried to explain to Chickadee that she’d done a marvelous job of brushing that one 2″ section of hair, but that the rest really needed to be combed out as well. Once I finally had them tucked into bed, I realized we’d forgotten to brush teeth.
I retreated downstairs for my quiet “me time.” The phone rang… it was a good friend I would’ve loved to chat with, but calling from a cell phone in upper Mongolia, from the sound of it. We gave up after about two minutes of “Ar* *** **e** … *el*o? . Then the Monkey was up, saying he couldn’t sleep. Got him settled back down. Came back downstairs. The phone rang again. This time during the course of the call both children got up. Bathroom run for the Chickadee, more complaining about being unable to sleep from the Monkey. Spent fifteen minutes explaining to him that it was not going to be any less dark outside if he was in my bed. Got him settled back down. Came back downstairs. Started to answer some e-mail. Then the Chickadee was up again, saying she couldn’t sleep. While leaving her room, the Monkey called me back in again. Time check: 9:55.
If I see any hint of this happening again tomorrow night, we’re topping off the evening with Benedryl cocktails all around. Sheesh.