Beauty tip

Yesterday was a full day; the sun was shining, we had a lot of going and doing and seeing people and enjoying the outdoors and whatnot. Eventually I went out with a friend for a girls’ dinner, then came home and Otto left to go watch basketball with some friends. (Tag-team parenting is my favorite.) I hung out with both kids, then Monkey went to bed and Chickadee and I watched some TV together and then she went to bed. I puttered around for a bit and then went to get ready for bed, myself.

The older you get, the longer your nighttime routine becomes. Right, ladies? I used to brush my teeth and then hop into bed. Now I also have to wash my face and smear gunk around my eyes and moisturize and peer at my various freckles and bumps. A few years ago I started developing these weird freckle-things every so often: they’re red (!) and raised and—sadly—permanent, though pretty small, and I haaate them. A chat with my doctor basically yielded a diagnosis of “yep, getting old sucks” and that was that.

So last night I was removing my shirt and realized I had YET ANOTHER new freaky freckle over one of my ribs, only upon closer inspection I ascertained that my new freckle had legs. Should this ever happen to you, I recommend screaming loudly, tearing through your drawer for the tweezers, swift removal/flushing of the offender, and then a full-body check conducted while still dancing the squirmy Dance Of Ick.

You’re welcome.

[Updated to add: Found a second one just now, in a location which I shall not name. Be right back, gotta go take an acid bath and burn my house down.]

28 Responses to “Beauty tip”

  1. 1
    parodie April 7, 2013 at 8:22 am #

    *Shudder* Sometimes I’m grateful I live far enough north that the bugs you mention aren’t an issue. I’m not saying I wouldn’t love to be thinking about cleaning a pool rather than debating down-filled coat vs waterproof coat + fleece, but … *shudder*

  2. 2
    Mary Fran April 7, 2013 at 9:01 am #

    When my youngest was about 4, my MIL was giving him a bath and said, “You have a scab, did you get a scratch?” He looked at it and said, “IT HAS LEGS! IT HAS LEGS!” We are all still traumatized by it. Then there was the one on my daughter’s back that wouldn’t let go – I swear her skin stretched 6 inches before I got him. After the $20 co-pay and $10 for the antibiotic pill, she threw up. I read the side effects – may cause vomiting. God, I hate ticks.

  3. 3
    Lara T April 7, 2013 at 9:38 am #

    Ack!!

  4. 4
    Jess April 7, 2013 at 9:52 am #

    I have the red spots, too, and I really hate them. I have so many that I can make constellations.

    • 4.1
      Celeste April 8, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

      Ditto. My stomach, after 3 babies, is covered in fine red dots that look like I was sprayed with blood. I just hope I don’t end up with more on my face. If they’re small, it’s not too bad. When they are larger and raised, they get obnoxious.

      I had a large one burned off my torso about 10 or 12 years ago but now it’s starting to come back. Stupid things.

  5. 5
    Mary K. in Rockport April 7, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    Oy ee vay. When our previously mentioned daughter was a little girl at ballet recital, we thought that the brown spot under her pink tights was her little mole. It wasn’t.

  6. 6
    Karen R April 7, 2013 at 10:28 am #

    I won’t mention where I found my last tick… (shudder)

  7. 7
    Korinthia Klein April 7, 2013 at 10:43 am #

    EEEEEWWWWWWWWW.

  8. 8
    Kim W. April 7, 2013 at 11:16 am #

    Oh, I hate ticks so much.

  9. 9
    The Other Leanne April 7, 2013 at 11:29 am #

    I was starting to worry about my jillions of those red freckles, but now I see I’m just old, thankssomuch. And then I saw the part about the legs: whaaat?! ew.

  10. 10
    Lindsey April 7, 2013 at 11:48 am #

    ACK!!! SO sorry. That sounds awful!!! I hope there are only just the two.

  11. 11
    suburbancorrespondent April 7, 2013 at 11:51 am #

    Oh, honey, come up here. We’re expecting an influx of both stinkbugs AND cicadas any day now.

    On second thought, could I come stay with you? For, like, 2 months?

  12. 12
    Javamom April 7, 2013 at 12:01 pm #

    There is just no peace to be had at Casa Mir, is there….

    I have to laugh, but I feel your pain… :)

  13. 13
    Brigitte April 7, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

    Ick ick, ticks ticks.

    Also, I think the red moles, of which I have many, are called cherry angiomas, which makes them sound deadly.

  14. 14
    bryan April 7, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

    I found a tick on my sister’s ear once, when I was a wee small child. I have had a horror of them ever since.

  15. 15
    RuthWells April 7, 2013 at 2:11 pm #

    *shudder*

  16. 16
    Aimee April 7, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

    Gaaaaah!

  17. 17
    karen April 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

    Are we talking ticks? Although they aren’t red here in CT. We have an abundance, and they are the sceeviest thing….

    And my routine still consists of just brushing my teeth, I am the laziest person EVER about putting a night time moisturizer on my face before bed, but at 48, I really really should.

  18. 18
    Cindy April 7, 2013 at 9:23 pm #

    Dancing the squirmy ick dance with you. I am beyond super freaked out by ticks now that I have an allergy to beef that was caused by one. I can’t eat any mammal meat at all, including bacon, without an allergic reaction. I can’t tell you how sad that makes me, even as I acknowledge (and repeat!) the whole “in the grand scheme of life, it’s minor” kind of truism.

  19. 19
    Arnebya April 7, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

    OH MY GOD I’M IN REVERSE! I “look” at the bathroom and consider going in to brush and wash various parts but then say screw it and just lie down.

    And ticks, ew. I’ve only had one once, when I was about 12. My mother had to burn it off, tweezers wouldn’t get him. She had to walk a block to the house of the one person she knew who smoked.

  20. 20
    margaret April 7, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

    I am the sister mentioned in comment #14. Bryan found the tick behind my ear when we were on a family trip. Surprisingly, this is not my most Ick TIck story. I fund a huge, blood engorged one on our sheepdog. I shudder just thinking about it.

  21. 21
    Amanda April 8, 2013 at 6:03 am #

    So getting old is actually good? I should be thankful for those red spots? Otherwise, like you, I wouldn’t be as compelled to check my body for other spots and who knows what you’d miss.

  22. 22
    Kate in MI April 8, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    ICK! ICKICKICK! Squirmy dance of ick also being performed here in Michigan. ::shudder::

  23. 23
    Chris April 8, 2013 at 7:53 am #

    Be sure to watch the areas you removed them from for any redness or swelling, esp. the “bullseye” mark. Despite what doctors will try to tell you ticks with Lime don’t see the GA border and think, “oh, GA line, guess I can’t go any further.”

    • 23.1
      A Different Kind of Zoe April 8, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

      Picturing a tick lounging in a tiny chair on the beach, Corona on the table beside it…

  24. 24
    Lori N April 8, 2013 at 2:44 pm #

    Ok, I’m off to check myself for ticks…on the up side — I have a great little tool I use to take them off the dogs & I’ve only found two so far…this week. I hate ticks. (But I hate lice more! Lord, save me from summer camp!)

  25. 25
    JennyA April 8, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    Ah, Spring!

  26. 26
    nicole April 12, 2013 at 12:17 pm #

    literally made my skin crawl…and now I’m all itchy

    thanks!

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