Tongue-tied

It’s very rare that I don’t know what to say. (Mind you, I don’t always say the right thing, but I can usually muster up SOMETHING. Even if it involves shoving my entire foot and half my leg into my mouth.) Maybe it’s because I’m getting older or maybe it’s just that I’m finally learning that whole “better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt” thing. I’m still happy to play the fool when times are easy. In tougher times, though, I’m not entirely sure what to do.

I spent the weekend mulling over these notions of how “love wins” and “love is enough.” I want to believe. Desperately. I’m working on it.

Step 1: Fill my aching, fearful heart with only the best ideas and memories. Do whatever I need to do to make that love tangible. So this morning I’m going back to one of my very favorite memories, savoring it, and—why not?—eating a grapefruit. Hopefully my sweet girl knows I wish I was sharing it with her.

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon

26 Responses to “Tongue-tied”

  1. 1
    Frank February 4, 2013 at 9:43 am #

    Attempting to send some good vibes your way. Hope everything works out OK.

  2. 2
    liz February 4, 2013 at 9:44 am #

    Laughing and crying, both. Sending you love.

  3. 3
    js February 4, 2013 at 10:02 am #

    I’m going out to get a bag of grapefruit and share it with my baby. There is probably going to be a major ramp-up in grapefruit sales now. Solidarity, man! In the tough times, sometimes love is all there is.

  4. 4
    Lucinda February 4, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    Have faith. These children, they break our hearts and all we can do is have faith that it will all be okay. Hugs and love and prayers and everything good to you.

  5. 5
    Peg February 4, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    Sending love and all good thoughts to your family.

  6. 6
    ScottsdaleGirl February 4, 2013 at 10:22 am #

    Dear Mir: You are theeeee bestest mama in the whoooorld. Know this. Own it. Hugs.

  7. 7
    Sandra Tayler February 4, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    Sorry for whatever difficult thing came your way this weekend. Sending you prayers.

  8. 8
    Sara February 4, 2013 at 10:37 am #

    Wishing the best for you and your grapefruit-loving girl. Love always wins.

  9. 9
    Midj February 4, 2013 at 10:55 am #

    Just re-read the grapefruit post. Smiling through my tears. Missing my girl, too… She moved out of my sister’s place and into her first apartment. And I wasn’t there… HUGS, dear Mir.

  10. 10
    Genevieve February 4, 2013 at 11:17 am #

    Sending you love and all the good wishes in the world.

  11. 11
    kapgaf February 4, 2013 at 11:32 am #

    Wherever you are, wherever Chickee is, that love is tangible, like grapefruit segments – just spit out the bitter pith and then giggle.

  12. 12
    suburbancorrespondent February 4, 2013 at 11:37 am #

    Hoping everything is all right!

  13. 13
    Korinthia February 4, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

    Some days are just harder than others. Hang in there. (Go pet the dog–always good therapy.)

  14. 14
    ste February 4, 2013 at 12:44 pm #

    I remember this post. And I kid you not, almost every time I give my kids grapefruit I think of it again.

  15. 15
    RuthWells February 4, 2013 at 1:04 pm #

    Oh, how I hope so, too. Sending good mojo.

  16. 16
    Aimee February 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

    Sending you much love — xoxo

  17. 17
    Heather February 4, 2013 at 1:56 pm #

    <3 hugs n' stuff.

  18. 18
    CuriousCat February 4, 2013 at 2:09 pm #

    You love Chickie with every fiber of your being. We ALL know you love Chickie with every fiber of your being.

    And inside of Chickie, even in the darkest moments of the saddest days, is the knowledge YOU LOVE HER WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING.

  19. 19
    CuriousCat February 4, 2013 at 2:12 pm #

    You love Chickie with every fiber of your being. We ALL know you love Chickie with every fiber of your being.

    And inside of Chickie, even in the darkest moments of the saddest days, is the knowledge YOU LOVE HER WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING.

    Know this. Love trumps all, everytime. Even when things go wrong or don’t turn out the way we wanted, love is there all the time…in the memories, in the words, in the actions.

  20. 20
    Rocky Mountain Woman February 4, 2013 at 2:18 pm #

    I’ll bet she knows…

  21. 21
    Lauren February 4, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    I listen to “Chicago” by Sufjan Stevens when my heart aches like that — if only for the repeated line “all things go, all things go” in the refrain. Things pass. I’m still pulling for all of you.

  22. 22
    Rita February 4, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

    I think a grapefruit care-package might just be in order.

  23. 23
    addy February 4, 2013 at 6:56 pm #

    Good memories, positive thoughts, nummy graperfruit….. they all help

  24. 24
    Jessica February 4, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    I remember this post (but I’ll go back and re-read it anyway, because I love it). I still think of you guys every time I see grapefruits. (Is that odd? I just liked that story. :-D)

  25. 25
    Chris February 5, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

    A great memory. Thanks for sharing…

  26. 26
    Katie in MA February 5, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

    I would peel you both allllll the grapefruits if that would help. Hugs to you both!

Design by LEAP