When you think about having children, you dream of all the magical things you’ll do together and all the memories you’ll build. You hope you’ll have similar interests and hopes and goals.
Actual conversation from earlier today in the car, upon spotting a rather unfortunate-looking (read: dead) armadillo on the shoulder.
Me: Oh no, Mr. Armadillo. That’s not a good place for a nap!
Monkey: Maybe he’s very sleepy.
Me: Like he was walking along, and suddenly he was just overcome with the need for a short rest?
Monkey: Exactly. So he just flopped over on his back like that for a power-nap.
Me: And put his intestines in a tidy pile beside him.
Monkey: Right. Because it’s hard to get comfortable with your innards on the inside. He just took ‘em out, you know, just to get comfy.
Me: Kind of like taking off your pants so they don’t get creased while you sleep?
Monkey: Yeah, he was all, “My intestines can just wait over here. Ah, that’s much more comfortable. Also, I appear to be slightly dead.”
Me: Well, that’s unfortunate.
I’m so proud.