So I’m doing The Vagina Monologues again this year, and while my father would insist that as a kid/teen I used to get cast in a play and have the whole script memorized the next day (this is an exaggeration), the older I get, the harder it is for me to memorize lines. Clearly my brain is failing. And the piece I’m in is a group round-robin style thing, so I am really struggling to get each of these single-lines-between-other-people’s-single-lines down before we’re supposed to be off-book in a few days. And the piece is SAD and HEAVY and HORRIFYING, so it’s not exactly a joyfest.
On the other hand, I have a short paragraph in the big intro to the show which IS funny, and I don’t know what it is—maybe my reaction to having such a Serious Piece later on, or that I am actually a 12-year-old boy on the inside—but that was not only a snap to memorize, I find myself riffing on possible responses to my favorite line way more often than is probably normal. The line is, “In the first place, it’s not so easy to even find your vagina.” Which… what?? So far my favorite made-up-for-my-own-amusement responses include:
A) That’s what she said.
B) Shall we call 1-800-THE-MISSING?
C) Let me Google that for you!
I really should not be allowed out into the world unsupervised.