I thought today was a very boring day—I never even got dressed, to tell you the honest truth—but it all just got a lot more exciting ’round here.
Apparently I’m throwing a HUGE party. I’m sorry I forgot to invite you, but I didn’t even know myself until a few minutes ago. I guess I could invite you NOW, but I fear the party’s been canceled. I’m a party pooper!
Okay; let me back up. After watching about a billion hours of Pitbulls and Parolees with Chickadee this afternoon (spoiler: pitbulls are nice! as are some parolees!), Monkey said he was hungry and I told him to go ask Otto what he wanted for dinner. After a brief discussion, Otto offered to go out and pick up pizza and wings, which was fortuitous as 1) there was nothing good to eat in the house and 2) the rest of the family was still in pajamas.
Food was fetched, and we were all sitting here eating happily when the phone rang.
“It’s for you!” Otto said, passing the phone to Monkey. This was because the caller ID said “Wireless Caller,” which is always the kids’ dad.
“Hello!” said Monkey, cheerfully. Then a pause. Then, “Uhhh. Yes? Hang on.” He held the phone out to me. “It’s for you!”
“Hello?” Clearly it wasn’t the kids’ dad. And for the next sixty seconds or so I waited for my opening to tell this telemarketer to shove off. I was barely listening as he asked if I was me, gave me his name and said he was calling from Florida, where he owns a restaurant…
… and then he told me that someone claiming to be from a telephone service for the hearing impaired had just relayed an order I’d placed for over $3,000 worth of food using my Discover Card, and he had decided that was a little suspicious, hence his call.
[Please insert the sound of the turntable needle screeching across a record here.]
Well, THAT made for an unexpected detour in the evening. Of course Discover is fabulous and they rushed to assure me that I would not be responsible for this $3,200 charge and they would investigate thoroughly and take care of everything, not to worry, so sorry for the hassle. It’s like they felt personally responsible for the fact that some jackhole had gotten my card number and ordered 300 chicken caesar salads for delivery next Thursday.
After I finished with Discover, I called the gentleman from Florida back, to both thank him again and to ask how he got my phone number. Had the people calling given it to him? No, they hadn’t, though they DID have both the security number for the card and… my full address. (The good Samaritan was able to find the number via reverse 411 because he had the address.) It turned out that there was one phone call for a giant food order, and then they called back after that (just checking that the card went through, we guess) to see if this same business could take care of a Western Union charge for them, which is when this guy decided to tell them that the card had been declined. (It hadn’t.)
I made sure to thank him profusely and let him know that Discover might be giving him a call before hanging up. I managed to stop myself from asking why in the world he charged my card when it all seemed so suspicious, but whatever. Dude called me, and fortunately he hadn’t actually delivered any goods, so it’s all fine.
I mean, apart from the fact that it’s terribly creepy.
My card wasn’t stolen; it’s still in my wallet. But I do most of my shopping online, and I use my card everywhere. Clearly somewhere I shopped was either hacked or has a problem employee. And even though I’m not out any money, I’m unsettled to know my address was taken along with my credit card number.
Plus, I know I’m not exactly the world’s greatest party planner, but I would NEVER just serve chicken caesar salad at a shindig. Nor would I order it from Florida if I did. I think that proper criminals should make a little more effort. What, they couldn’t order an ice cream cake or something? It’s not a party without ice cream, you know.
Anyway, sorry about the late invite and subsequent cancelation. But, you know, it sounded like a pretty crappy party, anyway.