So we’re just a few days into summer vacation, here, and so far it’s been a whole barrel of fun. If by “a whole barrel of fun” you mean “multiple trips to the pharmacy.”
Remember last year when Otto got poison ivy and then it got really, really bad and then he got MRSA? That was fun. Except not really. And so when he mysteriously got poison ivy again last week he was all, “Huh. I think I have poison ivy again. I wonder where that came from? Well, I guess I’ll use some of this cream I have left over from last time.”
Meanwhile I was throwing myself prostrate on the bathroom floor in front of him, going “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT LIVE THROUGH YOU HAVING MRSA AGAIN, GO TO THE DOCTOR!”
Otto thought I was overreacting. But it turns out that I am something of a champion nag, and after a few days of me rending my garments he did, indeed, get himself over to his doctor, who took one look at him and—probably with last year’s episode in mind—put him on a massive course of steroids to fix him up.
The next day I went to go see MY doctor, on account of allergy season brought me something extra special this year. For reasons I cannot fathom, when the blanket of pollen descended on Georgia this spring, in addition to my regular sinus issues, I also developed some eczema. ON MY EYELIDS. Nowhere else, mind you. Just there. And yes, allergy season started, like, I don’t know, maybe two months ago? But it would get gross and then it would get better and then it would get bad again and right when I was going to call the doctor, it would get worse… but then it would get better, etc. Well, earlier this week I actually started getting hives on top of the eczema. Basically I went from looking like a weirdo wearing red eyeshadow to looking like someone with an unfortunate case of eyelid leprosy. PRETTY!
So I took my beleaguered eyelids to the doctor, who took one look and said, “Oh my. Let’s put you on a course of steroids to clear that up.” So Otto went back to the pharmacy for me, to pick up my steroids.
The next day after THAT, Chickadee went out with a friend for a couple of hours and came back covered in a rash from head to toe. This was not entirely unexpected, but still… I’d really had high hopes about her new medication, which had seemed to be controlling her skin up until then. So we called Emory and they… called her in some steroids. Which I sent Otto to pick up. Mostly because by now I wondered if the pharmacists were beginning to suspect we’re Prednisone dealers or something.
If you’ve never taken Prednisone or some other steroid, let me just tell you about the wonder. On the one hand, it has thus far knocked out everything we’ve used it for, so yes, it’s very effective and that’s a Very Good Thing. On the other hand, steroids tend to make it difficult to sleep and also make you kind of hungry and cranky and a bit forgetful but kind of spazzy. So having three out of four members of the household on steroids all at once just seems unusually cruel to Monkey and the dog. Well, mostly to the dog, as Monkey is mostly oblivious.
[Digression: Actual conversation snippet as Chickadee ate an unusual amount of food, spurred on by the Steroid Munchies:
Monkey: So Prednisone makes you kind of hungry? And hyper?
Me: Yeah, kind of.
Monkey: But, I'm already kind of hyper, right?
Me: We prefer to think of you as being high-energy, sweetie.
Monkey: But if I had something wrong where I needed to take Prednisone, what do you think would HAPPEN?
Me: I think I would just let you scratch to death.
Monkey: Wait. What?
Me: Please don't get poison ivy or eczema or a rash, honey.
Monkey: Would you really not give me the medicine I needed???
Me: Gosh I love you. I have to go stand over here, now.]
Today we had a fun day of family togetherness where we went into Atlanta to do Fun Things and proceeded to bicker with and snipe at one another for the better part of the day, because everyone is cranky and hungry and sleep-deprived.
But on the up side, our (collective) skin looks FANTASTIC.
Plus this is kind of a family bonding exercise. You know, the family that steroids together, stays together? Isn’t that how the saying goes? No…?
Oh, hush up. And go get me a snack.