What a long strange trip. . . you know

I honestly don’t remember how or when it started, but I know that it was not too long after I began blogging, so about five years ago.

Somehow, Kira and I found each other. We read each other’s blogs, we emailed, and—eventually—started chatting via Instant Messenger. Every night.

There I was on the East coast, and Kira in Colorado. By the time she would get her boys into bed, I’d be thinking about going to sleep, myself. But she’d appear online and I’d vow to just chat with her for a few minutes, and three hours later—stomach sore from laughing or crying or (often) both—I would tell her I had to get to sleep.

I’d been divorced a year, and had two small children. She’d been on her own with her three boys for longer—a veteran, you might say. There were days when she was pretty much the only thing standing between me and a nervous breakdown.

I went back into my archives to look for the first time I’d mentioned her, here. Funnily enough, the first instance is from June of 2004, back when I used to do something I called Friday Facts and Fiction. She’d brought this up:

Kira asks: Do I think I’ll date/marry again?

What are you talking about? I’m already married. To Brad Pitt. Bitch. (Fiction!!)

Well that’s the proverbial $64,000 question, isn’t it? I’m a very social person. Despite what you might find me saying on my down days, I figure it’s pretty much impossible that I will never date again. Never is a long time. So yeah, I’ll date. Get married again? Hmmmm. I dunno. I would like to, but I don’t know that it’s in the cards for me. I’m still a little too raw from the last couple of years’ events to consider a risk of that magnitude, again. (Truth.)

It was funny that she’d brought that up for a public post, because sometimes it felt like that was all we ever talked about. Not remarrying, per se, but wondering/prophesying about what the future held for us and our children.

I would say that no one would want to take on a single mom to two high-needs kids who spent so much time at the unemployment office. She would counter that no one would want a homeschooling mother of three who’d moved back in with her parents. And then we’d talk for hours about how we would find our happiness without mates, because we were good enough and smart enough and after all, there were cookies to be baked and eaten. Or something.

Three years ago, Kira got married again, and despite my protective and paranoid need to ferret out anything that might render her new beloved unworthy of her, I have to admit that Clay is as close to superhero as one hopes to see in this mortal coil.

I wasn’t able to be there when they wed, but when we talked, beforehand, Kira said, “Can you believe that this is even happening?” I told her that I always knew this day would come.

And then when I got married two years ago, Kira couldn’t be here; but we talked beforehand, and I said, “Can you believe that this is even happening??” And she told me that she’d always known that it would.

We no longer spend hours on Instant Messenger every night, because I’m guessing our husbands might find that odd. And it hasn’t been ALL flowers and sunshine—she is still one of the first people I turn to when I’m having a hard time, and she’s come to me, too, when there are bumps in the road—but our lives are infinitely better now than we’d ever imagined they could be, back then, back when we spent our nights talking about dreams that were lost and hopes we didn’t dare to have.

And yesterday, my very very dear friend did what I knew she someday would, all those years ago, back when we couldn’t see the future for ourselves but always held onto the glimmer of it for each other:

Welcome to the world, Sophia Ann. You’re a very lucky little girl—your mama is one of the most amazing people I know. (Your dad and brothers and sister are pretty cool, too.) I’m going to come sniff your delicious baby head just as soon as I can, but until then, I know you’re in excellent hands.

There is something about walking through the darkness with someone and then watching her light shine so brightly you can’t ever imagine anything could have ever dimmed it. I am a better, brighter person for having Kira in my life. And I couldn’t be more excited about Sophia than if she were my own. (Okay, let’s be honest—I’m more excited, this way. I still get to sleep all night, so… yeah.)

I know birth is one of those “everyday miracles.” But you’ll have to excuse me if I hold this one just a little more dear.

38 Responses to “What a long strange trip. . . you know”

  1. 1
    Katie April 7, 2009 at 11:28 am #

    I love new baby smell! Yea!!

  2. 2
    Megan April 7, 2009 at 11:35 am #

    A beautiful tribute to friendship – and to the fact that things somehow, no matter how unlikely, sometimes just happen exactly as they should.

  3. 3
    Katie in MA April 7, 2009 at 11:40 am #

    Welcome to the world, Sophia Ann! Sweet baby girl, look at what sweet guardian angels you have watching over you! With such proud, beautiful, strong, and hilarious women looking over you, we all know you will one day conquer the world.

    Simply beautiful!

  4. 4
    The Other Leanne April 7, 2009 at 11:48 am #

    *clears throat, wipes nose*
    That is a beautiful tribute, Mir, to friendship and to life. So glad you were each there to remind the other that it can, and will, get better. This is the proof.
    Congratulations and blessings to all.

  5. 5
    Flea April 7, 2009 at 11:56 am #

    Ask if her tows smell like corn chips. I know puppy paws smell like corn chips …

    Congratulations, Kira! Sophia Ann is beautiful!

  6. 6
    Tracy April 7, 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    I love the name Sophia. What a pretty, perfect baby with a pretty, perfect name. Congrats!

  7. 7
    dad April 7, 2009 at 12:19 pm #

    My best wishes to Kira, Sophia, et al and my thanks to you for writing a “love Thursday” post on Tuesday.

    Or were you just a little confused by the sweet memory of baby head smell?

  8. 8
    Heidi April 7, 2009 at 12:37 pm #

    Kira wrote on her wedding day, “Then I whispered, “This is my secret,” and tears stung my eyes because it was so true. “My secret is that I’m not marrying him for any of the sensible reasons. I’m marrying him because I love him. Because I feel like I’ve come home, and I just want to be with him.”

    Ow, ow–now MY eyes are stinging! That is so beautifully written. Now I hope she doesn’t mind that she has a new fan, and forgive me if I become stalkery and read her archives. Best wishes to all.

  9. 9
    Ann from Minnesota April 7, 2009 at 12:39 pm #

    I must think the same way that your dad does – I was waiting for Happy Love Thursday at the bottom of the post. Congrats to all!

  10. 10
    Kelly April 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm #

    Awww I have tears.

  11. 11
    Dawn April 7, 2009 at 1:09 pm #


    You two ladies do give one reason to hope.

  12. 12
    Beachgal April 7, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    awesomeness…someday I will find friendship like that. Welcome to the world, Sophia.

  13. 13
    Leila April 7, 2009 at 1:45 pm #

    Yippee…a girl! How exiting for Kira and her entire family. We’re looking forward to welcoming a new addition to our family in June, when Heather and Andy have their second child.

  14. 14
    Debbi April 7, 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    Wow…you really are a beautiful wonderful friend! Kira is super lucky to have you in her life too!! :-)

  15. 15
    Burgh Baby April 7, 2009 at 2:01 pm #

    It’s really hard for people who don’t do it to understand the connections you can make blogging, but thanks for pointing out just how valuable those connections can be.

    Congratulations to Kira!

  16. 16
    O.G. April 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm #

    More people should read this blog. You have an amazing way with words.

  17. 17
    elizabeth April 7, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    ah, that new baby smell. and the ability to hand them back when they start to fuss. perfect combo. =)

  18. 18
    Andrea April 7, 2009 at 2:36 pm #

    What beautiful words to honor such a great friend. You are both lucky to have found each other when you needed each other the most. Congratulations to Kira and Happy Birthday to Sophia.

  19. 19
    Lynette April 7, 2009 at 2:49 pm #

    Now that is true friendship…

  20. 20
    MomCat April 7, 2009 at 3:08 pm #

    Love Thursday came early this week! Blessings to the new mother and baby. *sniff*

  21. 21
    Amy-Go April 7, 2009 at 3:21 pm #

    You really should include a kleenex warning with this post…*weep*

  22. 22
    Patricia April 7, 2009 at 3:26 pm #

    Only your dad would have a wisecrack after that sweet post. This is why, when you aren’t looking, I’m totally stealing him — I will so ply him with Chinese food and coffee to do it too.

    I’m overjoyed for Kira — and for you. Really, there are enough happily ever afters and you and Kira are bright spots.

    And try to tell me that girl isn’t the most beautiful…just try.

  23. 23
    Neil April 7, 2009 at 4:05 pm #

    Nice post not only about a new baby, but about friendship.

  24. 24
    Barbara April 7, 2009 at 4:34 pm #

    You could have held this post for Thursday’s love.

    Very sweet.

    I love this blogging-gig. Haven’t been doing it as long as you, but time only increases my investment in the blogs I read regularly and the few bloggers I communicate with off-blog.

    Thanks, Mir.

  25. 25
    Jan in Norman, OK April 7, 2009 at 6:24 pm #

    Just yesterday I was thinking about how you, Kira, and Joshilyn — three women I’m not likely ever to meet — have become so dear to me.

  26. 26
    Michelle April 7, 2009 at 6:24 pm #

    Awww, how exciting!!!

  27. 27
    keyomi April 7, 2009 at 7:09 pm #

    beautiful post.a friend in need is a friend indeed :)

  28. 28
    Grannycilla April 7, 2009 at 7:44 pm #

    now I am SOBBING! What a precious baby and family, and having good friends to share it with, well that is the best! You will have to kiss her baby head for all of us.

  29. 29
    Kendra April 7, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

    That smell is called fresh out of the womb and I do believe it should be bottled. Who doens’t love a new baby especially when it’s somebody elses. My sister in law just had her second and I think it’s awesome!!

  30. 30
    annette April 7, 2009 at 8:52 pm #

    I love happy endings (or is it beginnings?) And babies. And friends. And reading your blog. And chocolate(not that that has anything to do with this, but I do!).

  31. 31
    becky April 7, 2009 at 9:59 pm #

    Oh, Mir. That was absolutely lovely. I am just a teeny bit jealous that you have such a great friendship, but so happy for you that you do. Er, um, anyway. Like I said, that was lovely.

  32. 32
    Lady M April 7, 2009 at 11:34 pm #

    Congratulations to Kira, and to you for recognizing true friendship!

    Cute, cute baby. Who will love the contents of garden someday, certainly.

  33. 33
    Kira April 8, 2009 at 12:30 am #

    Thank you, friend of mine. You’re such a gift to me.
    Love you.

  34. 34
    Cele April 8, 2009 at 1:42 am #

    Wow, what an amazing tribute to friendship. I remember watching a lot of it right here. Now I’m going to go cry myself to sleep with happy tears, because that was so darn beautiful.

  35. 35
    Mary April 8, 2009 at 8:04 am #

    Hi Mir! I found your blog as a link from Daisy’s and have been lurking in the background but had to comment on this one! Isn’t it amazing how we are able to become “friends” with folks we don’t even know thanks to this wonderful world we call the internet??? I just the other day posted about a “friend” of mine.

  36. 36
    Erika April 8, 2009 at 10:46 am #

    I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. That is such a lovely post. I have been reading for a while and I remember your posts about you and your friend Kira. I am so glad for the both of you. Also, I have said this before but I must say it again, I just love your Dad! I always scroll down to see if he commented. His comments are as wonderful as your posts. Lucky you!

  37. 37
    Aimee April 8, 2009 at 11:51 am #


    That was beautiful.

    I do have to mention one other thing, though. Flea! Cat toes smell like corn chips too. What a strange phenomenon.

  38. 38
    mama speak April 8, 2009 at 11:20 pm #

    my ovaries hurt now.
    i love new born baby smell.
    no more in my house.

    but i’m happy for all of you!

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