(Dear Google, You’re welcome! Next time I’ll try to work THREE obscene words into the title!)
Okay, so, the contractor came over last night and we three stood around discussing The Issues With The Floor. He’s a good guy, our contractor. Within the first ten minutes he was able to quell my fear that he’d just plain installed the floor with a crowbar in one hand and a fifth of bourbon in the other, so that was an excellent start. I guess—and wow, does living here give me an education OVER AND OVER or what?—that when you live in a really humid climate it’s incredibly difficult to lay in a wood floor perfectly. Apparently they take the wood outside to do the cuts, and the door is open, and they lay the wood in tight and it looks great… and then you close the door and run the air conditioner and everything shrinks a little.
(My poor floor. Subject to embarrassing shrinkage.)
Soooooo he spent some quality time puttying some cracks, and we walked around and figured out a few areas that do in fact need to be redone, and in the end I was… well, HAPPY is too strong a word, but LESS HOMICIDAL, anyway.
And as Otto (a.k.a. Mr. Bright Side) keeps pointing out, very few people are going to go nose-down on the blank floor. We’re putting the furniture back in, and most people are 5 or 6 feet up, anyway, and it’s mostly fine. I guess.
In better news, the wood itself is still quite awesome-looking:
See? SO PRETTY. IF YOU SQUINT A LITTLE.
On Thursday the contractor will come to “finish it up” (pull up and replace the pertinent pieces, kiss my ass, etc.) and I will be busy “working” (eating ice cream, shopping online for an area rug, etc.) while he does so. So there’s that.
And now for the pimpage:
In the continuing saga of my love for dairy (and—even deeper—my love for the people who pay me to write about my love for dairy), my latest article on Gather is now live, and it’s all about how much I love my blender. Really.
Also, I think I mentioned this before but you can see it online, now: Redbook picked me as one of six “Inspiring Female Bloggers” for feature in their August issue. Then I got to try to summarize 4+ years of writing online in just 400 words, and that was STUPENDOUS because you know how succinct I tend to be!
Finally, it looks like Sleep Is for the Weak has started shipping from Amazon. Just a little heads-up in case you didn’t pre-order it. The nice thing about having 24 contributors or however many we ended up with is that I don’t have to worry that my dad is the only one buying a copy. Heh.
Phew! The roller coaster of life goes on. With ice cream. V important to get the basics in there!
The floor looks great! What gorgeous grain. And congratulations on being so inspiring. You’re getting so famous! Redbook, the Today Show…what’s next? Letterman?
That floor is really pretty!
It looks gorgeous,I’m jealous. Congratulations on the book, and the magazine article and the…jeez I could go on forever! That’s wonderful, hope you’re feeling better.
I got my issue of Redbook in the mail yesterday! Yay! Pretty pretty.
What was it page 76? The only page I read. :)
Wow, the floor is beautiful! And congrats on the Redbook article, I enjoyed reading it! :)
Great-looking floor! I followed the link to amazon for your book. It says it’s for ages 9-12, weird. But sometimes I act like I’m 12, so I’m good.
You know, the floor is so light that I seriously believe that most people won’t notice the gaps at all. Also, once it gets cold and you start running the heater, they’ll just snap back together anyway. Right? I mean, according to your contractor’s theory, that’s what should happen.
Gorgeous floors, by any measure. I think we need a whole room shot so that we can see how the Tuscan plaster coordinates with the floors.
My husband has worked in flooring for 24 years. He’s at the top of his field, and I asked him last night what he thought of your situation. He pretty much agreed you’re screwed. I’m glad you got at least some relief from the floor issues. It’s probably the best you can hope for. Find a pretty, pretty area rug. In a couple of months (years?) it won’t hurt so much. When we got our hardwood refinished last year I was crazy about trying to make sure our wood did not get scratched, gouged, whatever. I finally had to let it go, and live. In a tiny house, with 2 little kids, a teenager, company, a dog, etc., etc., things are going to happen to the wood. *sob* It’s just the way it is. Hope you’re mostly happy when it’s finished.
I loved the Redbook article. I was flipping pages, and I went, wait, I know that picture! It was very exciting to read your article. 400 well-chosen words. Good job.
Why do guys always blame it on shrinkage? Geesh.
Am taking my Redbook on the plane tomorrow so I can drool on the article!
Pimp on, Mir. The floor looks great & so do your headshots–very pretty!
Congrats on Redbook! You hard working blogger, you.
Oooh very pretty floor! And I’m so stoked about Sleep is for the Weak! So many of my favourite ladies are in there :)
You must of had some ice cream last night – because things are looking up….
I think the floor looks great. Maybe you took a pic without gaps but I don’t see any!!
And congrats on the magazine article too!!
That is a *beautiful* floor. Just lovely. I don’t notice anything wrong at all.
Great articles!
I live in Oklahoma and believe me I know about humidity! When you get wood like that the contractor is supposed to let it sit inside the house, sometimes up to a week, depending on how humid an area we are talking about. This gives the wood a chance to acclimate to the temperature of the house. Something tells me your contractor forgot that step!
i think they look great–love the color.
What, you don’t ever have the kinds of parties where your guests wind up face down on the floor? Although, after 2 or 3 (or 12) margaritas, guess they probably wouldn’t notice a few gaps anyway.
So really,, you have no worries! :)
Seriously, though, it looks great. I’m totally anal, and I didn’t notice anything.
Look at you in Redbook!! Congrats! And you look bee-you-tee-ful!
I heart your floors.
I have to tell you I’m so happy to have stumbled upon your blog. You make me feel less insane because I see so much of myself in your writing. I’m NOT alone! haha! That and the fact that you ALWAYS get a laugh out of me. Thanks!
Delurking to say two things:
1.) I am totally coveting your floors!
2.) My copy of “Sleep Is for the Weak” just arrived from Amazon this afternoon – I plan to dive into it tonight :)
The floor is beeeeeeyooootiful! And I didn’t even need to squint! What kind of floor is it?
I can’t wait to get the next issue of Redbook!
Ooooh, pretty floor! And congrats on the Redbook feature!
love the floor – and don’t worry about the shrinkage, it happens to everybody ;)
congrats on redbook – that’s awesome!
So cool, Ms Inspirational!
I would give a lot to be able to lactate on demand right now, given this weekend’s attempt to use the breast pump instead of having the baby with me.
I so feel your pain right now – our hardwood went in a few weeks ago, and the guy is here today to finish the two stairs up into the living room. I have to take time off work tomorrow morning as hubby is out of town to come home and talk to the guy – we definitely do not have the same vision as to how these stairs need to be completed. I cannot believe that this is so hard to do!!! Fortunately I have an understanding boss, and I live only a few blocks from work, but still ….. thought we had this figured out already. *sitting here with tears*
Great articles – really enjoyed them. And, Amazon just notified me that my copy of your book is on the way – can hardly wait for that to come!!!
Floor looks great – love all the different tonage on the wood. Snazzy-pants.
Recieved the book yesterday!!Also my husband is a master carpenter and his specialty is going in and fixing others messes, so I know it can be done I hope your guy is as good.I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. It is a fine looking floor:)
Mir, spinach in a smoothie? Ew! :D
We love our blender for morning smoothies. I keep a giant bucket of protein powder on hands to dump in for my growing boys. They’re both ADD and need their morning protein, making that easy and quick!
I think the floor is very, very pretty. And I loved the write-up in Redbook! I think I’ve been reading you for at least 3 years now and I come back everyday!
Very cool article in Redbook – very cool necklace in Redbook, and the floor is nice! But I have a dumb question – why, if the contractor knows that its going to shrink when its inside and the AC is on, doesn’t he cut it inside, or cut it slightly larger so that it will fit perfectly?
If you squint it *almost* looks like one of those magic pattern pictures.
And it is pretty.
The floor looks gorgeous. I love the grain. Even with all of your flooring woes, it makes me want to rip up my wood floor and put yours down. I also have gigantic spaces in my floors but they are original to the house so really nothing I can do.
BTW – just ordered your book, don’t worry – it is not just your dad ordering.
I think we may have laid the same floor in our place; I love all the mixed grain! For reasons too complex to discuss here, we had to pull it in favor of tile. Glad you were able to make it work, it truly is beautiful.
Love the Redbook piece! And your bio photo looks great, too. I love wood floors – before I gush too much more, I’ll tell you my floors are so old (house built 1890) it doesn’t matter if they fit together well. So of course, they do. :)
First off the article is great, you as always are right there, hones and funny.
Secondly, Wood floors are beautiful pains in the butt, enjoy.