Hey, just a quick follow-up to yesterday’s post, before I get started, here—it turns out that there is ONE covered specialist in the next town over who we could see. Don’t even ask me how I figured this out, because it will cause my head to explode. Anyway. I called to make an appointment and was informed that we were required to do intake forms before we could even make an appointment. So I drove all the way over there with gas costing more than gold, and discovered two things:
1) This doctor is in the same practice as two of the “highly recommended” practitioners who do not take my insurance, which elicited a resounding WTF? from me.
2) The “intake forms” consisted of giving them my insurance information and signing a HIPAA form, after which they were gracious enough to give us an appointment in TWO MONTHS.
And then I killed them all. Oops!
So that was delightful.
To cap off what was already a lovely day, Otto and I decided to capitalize on the children’s absence with a long lazy day of naked romping. Oh, wait. I mean, having new air conditioning installed. Because that is JUST LIKE naked romping, except that it costs a lot more and isn’t nearly as fun.
Stop looking at me like that.
ANYWAY! In keeping with this summer’s theme—As Long As Everything Sucks So Bad, Let’s Just Spend All Of Our Money, Too—we had scheduled to have a new furnace and air conditioning unit for the upstairs installed yesterday. The access to our attic is through a closet in Monkey’s room, so we thought it best to do this while the kids were gone, to avoid the meltdown that would surely come from having people tromping in and out of his room all day long.
Sadly, I forgot to schedule this during a time when I would be out of town, to avoid the meltdown that would surely come from having people tromping in and out of my house all day long.
So the crew showed up around 9:00 and set to work. Part of the package this company offers is a “red carpet service” wherein—the salesperson had assured me—your floor is completely protected by a special material they put down while they’re working. They’ll cover the entire area between the door and the work area, just to make sure you don’t end up with debris on the floor. Isn’t that awesome?
Yes. The red carpet service comes in a BOX. Here is why: The red carpet service is a giant roll of red saran wrap. I kid you not. They unroll it and it static-clings itself to the floor and it works REALLY WELL except for the part where it starts to rip a couple of hours in, and also the part where at the end they pull it up and all of the debris that HAD been sitting on TOP of the saran wrap then, obviously, FALLS ON YOUR FLOOR. Super.
The guys doing the installation were hard workers and very nice. Why, I didn’t hear a single one complain when they were still working at 5:00. “Hey!” I hollered up through the opening in my ceiling. “Any idea how much longer you’ll be?”
A disembodied voice floated down. “Another two hours, prolly. We want to get it finished up for you tonight.” Awwww, that’s so nice. They don’t want to leave it unfinished. Okay. What’s two more hours? We’ll just start making dinner.
We finished eating around 7:00, and they showed no signs of being done.
At about 7:30, we idly wondered if something had gone wrong.
Well, around 8:00 Otto and I were sitting on the couch watching television and I decided that really, this was getting sort of silly.
Around 8:30 I went upstairs again. “Hey!” I hollered up into the hole. “Do you guys need me to make up a bed for you or what?”
There was some chuckling, and an assurance that they were almost done.
At NINE FREAKING THIRTY AT NIGHT, the last two guys told us that everything was all set; someone would be by in the morning to check the outside line, but it was done. We thanked them and saw them out.
The doors and windows had been open all day while they worked, so it was pretty hot and stuffy in the house. The upstairs was now cooling nicely thanks to the new unit. Then we tried to turn on the downstairs air conditioner.
It wouldn’t turn on.
We knew the guys were coming back today, so we decided not to get too worked up about it. Instead, we’d just turn on the whole house fan to cool things down for now.
[Aside: Do you have a whole house fan? I've never had one, before, and I must say that I love it beyond reason. Flick a switch upstairs and a magic portal in the ceiling opens and commences sucking up all of the air within a three mile radius. AWESOME.]
I turned the fan on, and the ceiling vents began to open just as a horrible THWUP THWUP THWUP sound reached my ears. The half-open vents revealed the struggling fan—trapped underneath a new piece of ductwork. Which was just SITTING ON THE BLADES.
I made up a few new swear words and then I ran out to the driveway to stop the guys who were just pulling out. “Hey! HEY!” I yelled, because I am SMOOTH. “Dude, there is a piece of duct sitting on our house fan. No. You’ve gotta fix that before you leave.”
They came back in. Twelve hours in the attic, and no one noticed that they’d forgotten to suspend that duct. I AM FEELING ALL WARM AND FUZZY AND SECURE NOW about letting these people install my heating and cooling, let me tell you.
But they fixed it and the fan worked again and they left and all was (sort of) well.
Now one of the guys is back, today, doing… well, I don’t really know what he’s doing. I’m curled up under my desk, hoping he’s not planning to spend the entire day, this time.