My lawyer is very, very good at what he does, and a nice guy, to boot. He knows law. He knows tradition. What he doesn’t hand off to his secretary he types with two fingers, and he had exactly no idea of what a blog was until I had to explain to him what I do for a living.
“So, you write about your life for anyone to read?” he asked, hand pausing in mid-air over his legal pad.
“Yeah, pretty much,” I admitted.
I don’t think he really understood that. Heck, some days I’m not sure I really understand it. But most of the time I assume that people come here for humor, and most of the time I try to deliver. And even after four years, I continue to be completely blown away by my readers’ warmth and compassion on those occasions when there isn’t anything funny about my life.
Anyone with half a brain can figure out that we’ve been wrestling with many of the issues leading up to my last post for a long time. I try really, really hard to keep that stuff off the screen as much as possible. My mindset is generally “hunker down;” it’s the kids’ and my family’s business and it’s horrible and depressing and I will vent to Otto and maybe my folks, but I keep it all as under wraps as I can, for as long as I can.
When I can’t sit with it for another minute, when I HAVE to get it out or suffocate under the weight of it, there you are. All of YOU. People whom I see every day, people whom I’ve never met, people who’ve just started reading, people who’ve read me for years. People who leave me kind comments, people who email me their own stories of hope, friends who call to check on me.
A friend who is about to embark on the journey of a lifetime to add to her family—who has a million happier things on her mind—took the time to reach out to me.
A friend who is dealing with her own heartbreak wrote to tell me to keep the faith.
A friend who is up to her eyeballs in work kept checking in, ever so gently, not wanting to bother me but needing to let me know she was there.
Several people I’ve never met and maybe never will meet wrote to say thank you, even as I was worrying I’d said too much.
A new friend at the very beginning of this same path simply asked how I was holding up, the subtext of understanding buoying me in a dark moment.
From Otto’s family came an extraordinary offer—simply from reading my post, before they’d even spoken to us—to open their home to us for however long we might need, if we need it, to stay closer to the kids for however long they are up north this summer. (Yeah, I’m calling you out. I love you guys—you have no idea what that means to me. I won the husband AND in-law lotteries.)
All of you helped to prop me up when my knees were buckling. This may be “just a blog,” but I am grateful to have every one of you in my life.
Happy Love Thursday, everyone. Maybe life isn’t fair, but I’m still seeing grace all around me—I cannot thank you all enough.