Sometimes it doesn’t take much

This Love Thursday, I’d like to acknowledge that I married the sort of man who will tell someone “we just ordered my new computer and I’m dancing!” and then—when they say “I’d like to see that”—makes a video and posts it to the internet.

Truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Laughter is good for the soul, and Otto will be nourishing my soul with his utter dorkitude for a long, long time.


Happy Feet from woulda on Vimeo.

 
And while Otto is obviously my one true love, yesterday’s dance led to remembering another favorite LOVAH of mine.
 
You see, I’m the sort of person who charges everything. Yes! It’s true! I put absolutely everything on my Discover card, because I get cash back from them, plus I generally only ever have a dollar in my wallet, and every month I pay it off in full, so it works just fine for me.

This does not work so well for Discover, though, because obviously they make their money when people carry a balance. And I’ve never, ever done that. So what does Discover do? Discover keeps increasing my monthly spending limit. Discover is desperately hoping that one of these days I’ll spend more than I can afford, and then they can make some money off of me.

(Dear Discover: I love you but it’s not gonna happen. Find someone else’s credit to deflower, please. Love, Mir.)

Discover has been increasing my spending limit over the years, to where I am now free to spend $10,000/month with them. I know you are all pining to attain my glamorous lifestyle and this may come as a HUGE SHOCK, but I don’t MAKE that sort of money, nor would I spend it all on my credit card even if I did. But whatever; it makes Discover happy to offer me more credit, and occasionally it comes in handy.

Like, say, yesterday. Yesterday I went to place the school’s order for digital cameras, and of course it was impossible to coordinate with a check, so I said, “Okay, let’s just put it on my Discover card and I’ll have the PTA write the check to me.” That was fine, and I proceeded to charge nearly $800 worth of electronics to my card. No problem.

Then our accountant called with the numbers from our tax return, and after falling to the floor to kiss his feet (metaphorically, of course, as that’s difficult through the phone), I informed Otto that we were getting a refund and he could finally replace his computer. He was thrilled, and said “Let’s order it tonight!”

So last night we sat down to figure out what he needed, and we put it on my Discover card (Old Faithful, or perhaps Old Gimme Some Money Back). After Otto hit the final submit, I joked, “How long do you think it’ll take for Discover to call and ask me if my card was stolen?”

After all, I’d just charged in a single day more than I generally charge in four months.

It was late, and of course the phone didn’t ring.

Instead, they sent me an email. It basically said: ZOMG FRAUD ALERT FRAUD ALERT PLEASE CALL US RIGHT NOOOOWWWWWWW!

So I called them up and verified my info and said, “I was just telling my husband that you guys were going to think my card was stolen. It was me, I promise.”

The rep chuckled and said, “Well we certainly are happy to hear that, but I just want to verify the individual charges with you to be certain.”

So she asked me first about the order we’d just placed with Apple, and I confirmed that it was ours, and then about the camera order from the morning, which I also confirmed was ours, and then she got a very SUSPICIOUS-SOUNDING TONE in her voice and asked me, “Ma’am, I also need to confirm this other suspect charge from today—” and at this point I tried to remember if I’d bought anything else that day, and just as I was starting to laugh she finished: “—did you spend $20 at Hanes.com?”

Yes. Yesterday I bought ten digital camera kits, a new laptop, and a monitor; and INBETWEEN someone stole my card and bought twenty bucks worth of cheap cotton panties. THAT BASTARD!

I let the nice lady know that yes, occasionally I take a break from buying expensive electronics to replace some of my underwear, and she chuckled, and after we hung up I told Otto that Discover loves me SO MUCH, they are even worried about my undergarments.

So I guess I’m saying I love Discover, too. But I love Otto more. In fact, I love him SO much, I am letting the obvious joke paralleling Discover’s concern about my panties and Otto’s concern about my panties go without a single mention.

(Almost.)

(Happy Love Thursday!)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon

38 Responses to “Sometimes it doesn’t take much”

  1. 1
    Katie March 6, 2008 at 8:28 am #

    Love the dancing feet!

    Discover usually calls me, the last time was when we rented a van. I guess I don’t fit the “rent a van” profile or something.

    Happy Love Thursday!

  2. 2
    Megan March 6, 2008 at 8:45 am #

    So how happy do those feet get with new camera equipment? Are we talking top hat, white tie and tails?

  3. 3
    Monica (in Austin :) March 6, 2008 at 8:45 am #

    I think that’s because criminals rent vans to carry out nefarious deeds. And if the van rental is traced back to your card instead of theirs, all the better.

    Anyway, everyone probably already knows this, but having too high a credit limit can hurt you if you need to apply for credit for something else, like a car or house loan. Basically a credit limit is potential debt, so even if you’ve never carried more than a $3,000 balance and pay it off every month, they still think of it as you having $10,000 worth of debt.

    Yeah for Love Thursday and dorky husbands!

  4. 4
    Leandra March 6, 2008 at 8:46 am #

    Do you know that I know some people who have credit cards with $45,000 limits, and who have almost maxed them out?!?? That simply boggles my mind. The thought of having that much debt makes me want to throw up.

    Love the dancin’ feet. That Otto, he’s a dancin’ fool, I can tell!

  5. 5
    Liz March 6, 2008 at 9:00 am #

    Hah, I needed some Happy Feet today! American Express loves me, too and Garth (not his real name) is a little jealous, right now. And a bit annoyed. Because, I charged the trip to BlogHer, last month. And forgot to tell him. Now that I think about it. He seems a little mad, too. Maybe that’s why he’s not talking to me. Much. Um, can I borrow Otto?

  6. 6
    elizabeth March 6, 2008 at 9:01 am #

    Otto kills me!
    and on this love thursday I have my sixth anniversary with the love of my life. very appropriate, dontcha think?

  7. 7
    FireMom March 6, 2008 at 9:14 am #

    I just got such a kick out of this post. The whole shebang! :) Good stuff.

    Hope your undies feel good as the new computer. Though, I don’t think you’ll be wearing the computer but you CAN dance in the undies. :)

  8. 8
    MomCat March 6, 2008 at 9:38 am #

    Maybe y’all can find a way to combine the joy of new panties and new laptops. Just sayin’.

  9. 9
    Rachel May March 6, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    Bwahahaaaa!! I was waiting, on the edge of my seat, for that last connection. Because, you and me? We’re both 10 year old boys at heart. :) Thanks for not letting me down. :P

  10. 10
    LuAnn March 6, 2008 at 9:49 am #

    OMG, too funny!

  11. 11
    All Adither March 6, 2008 at 9:53 am #

    Otto wears good slippers. The more I learn about him, the more I like him.

  12. 12
    bleeding espresso March 6, 2008 at 10:00 am #

    That is hilarious, and go Discover for being so on the ball!

    Happy Love Thursday :)

  13. 13
    kidzmama March 6, 2008 at 10:02 am #

    Congrats to Otto on the new laptop order. Very exciting.

    Mir, I’m in the same boat with you on Discover. I charge everything I could on that card and pay it off every month. They make it too easy. I’ve had the card over fifteen years and I clearly remember getting my first reward check, $5.64. I was in college. Now, with a family of six that check is much, much bigger. There’s only one rule we have with the rewards check. I must spend it on myself. I can’t buy anything for hubby or the kids. It’s a good setup!

  14. 14
    Someone Being Me March 6, 2008 at 10:20 am #

    I have the same relationship with my Discover. My husband does with his Visa. We both try to rack up points on our respective cards. I will tell you that Discover is far more suspicious than the Visa people. They canceled my card and put a fraud alert on my account when my husband called to renew his card and couldn’t remember my mother’s maiden name.

  15. 15
    becky March 6, 2008 at 10:23 am #

    I don’t know if that’s a dance, Otto. It’s kinda more of a shuffle.

    We use our Discover when we drive to see my parents. They do a fraud check every time we get out of state. It’s nice to know they’re monitoring that stuff. But they certainly haven’t given us THAT HUGE of a spending limit. Heh.

  16. 16
    Jennifer March 6, 2008 at 10:34 am #

    Love Thursday means ordering new Apple products. I’m getting my brand new iMac via FedEx today!!! Tell Otto I’m dancing too.

  17. 17
    ImpostorMom March 6, 2008 at 10:37 am #

    OH I just got a macbook last weekend. My very first Mac.

    Discover must truly hate consumers like you. Sadly, they are probably more in to consumers like me. I don’t have discipline to charge and pay off every month so I do my best just not to charge.

  18. 18
    The Other Leanne March 6, 2008 at 10:41 am #

    SHAKE IT, OTTO!

  19. 19
    Sara March 6, 2008 at 10:45 am #

    Color me disappointed. I thought for sure Otto would be dancing a jig. Next time he is so happy he could dance, please request a jig. I think becky is right, that was more of a shuffle–or a soft-shoe. Heh.

  20. 20
    Aimee March 6, 2008 at 10:49 am #

    Nice Mac Shuffle, Otto!

    I *love* that Discover was so concerned about the $20 charge. Because those thieves, they love the cotton panties.

  21. 21
    dad March 6, 2008 at 10:58 am #

    That Otto “sure can cut a rug.” (That must be a idiom. Perhaps Chickadee will be able to use it on a future homework assignment).

    I totally agree with All Adither. Ya gotta love a guy that can soft shoe.

  22. 22
    Flea March 6, 2008 at 10:59 am #

    What very handsome feet your husband has.

    And did Otto get that new Air Mac thingy? The boys here are all drooling over it.

  23. 23
    Jamie AZ March 6, 2008 at 12:01 pm #

    Yeah for your shopping fun! I’ll have to watch the video tonight from the other PC. I *heart* my Citi/American Advantage MasterCard and charge everything to it each month then pay it off because they give me airline miles. I love that Discover worried about your panties, too.

  24. 24
    Astrogirl March 6, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

    Whooooo, it must be a good sales month for Apple – I’m writing this on a brand new Macbook (white), which I abso-tootin-lutely love! No, I don’t even have credit cards, because I am Very Bad and would blow my limit in one shopping trip.

    So, cash and checks only for me (I’m like that person in the Visa ads who messes up the beautiful ballet of credit card sales with her heinous CASH!!!). I love those commercials :)

  25. 25
    D March 6, 2008 at 12:19 pm #

    My hubby would do the dance, but lacking a recording device, only I’d get to see it. So kudos for posting it, Otto. :-)

    Now, can he do the macarena? :-) [wedding tip: at a wedding with mostly computer programmers, have them lead in doing that dance - hysterical, there is no other word]

  26. 26
    becky March 6, 2008 at 12:25 pm #

    ooooh, I forgot to mention… I put all of my biz expenses on my AmEx, which gives me reward points, which I then redeem for B&N gift certificates. I just love getting to spend at the bookstore, or give them as gifts.

  27. 27
    Robyn March 6, 2008 at 1:34 pm #

    I think Discover probably hates us too. We use it for everything during the month and have 90% of our household bills autopaid on it too.

    When I was on bedrest with kiddo #3, hubby decided to order me a new Intel iMac to surprise me. The account is older than my marriage so I’m the primary cardholder. They called me to verify that the purchase was real. I tried to act surprised when he got home from work to tell me, but I wasn’t very convincing. He was so mad that they blew his surprise. I think his reaction to the indignity of it all cheered me up more that day than the computer. Heh.

    BTW, I’m sure all you pretty Mir fans know that you can get more back if you choose gift cards. Great for us to use for eating out and buying books, plus when I actually give them away, I look even more generous. :)

  28. 28
    Deb March 6, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Wonderful post and wonderful video. Happy Love Thursday.

  29. 29
    Jill March 6, 2008 at 2:54 pm #

    That video is so cute.

  30. 30
    Shalet March 6, 2008 at 3:24 pm #

    Macs are the best – definitely worthy of a dance!

  31. 31
    Cele March 6, 2008 at 4:21 pm #

    Ha, happy day. I have a friend who does the same with her bills and her mileage card. I’m not sure when the last time was that she bought her plane tickets.

  32. 32
    Brian March 6, 2008 at 5:39 pm #

    So, I guess you could say Discover got their panties in a wad over your panties???

  33. 33
    Dana March 6, 2008 at 6:01 pm #

    Discover is awesome like that. Great post!

  34. 34
    jennielynn March 6, 2008 at 7:00 pm #

    That Otto got some moves, yo. Mr. Clairol needs to teach him the “Uncle Frank.”

  35. 35
    natala March 6, 2008 at 9:57 pm #

    That made me smile :)

  36. 36
    Shannon March 7, 2008 at 12:22 am #

    We also charge everything and pay it off each month. We are saving up points for airline miles.
    I think Mastercard hates us.

    I love that Discover is concerned about your underwear.

  37. 37
    ChristieNY March 7, 2008 at 9:38 am #

    We use a mastercard cash back card and pay it off each month too. Surprisingly having done this for the past ten years, my credit is excellent.

    This is funny since back when I got my first cc in college I was told BY THE CREDIT REP at the college where it was issued in person that in order to “build my credit score and history” and I’d have carry a balance on the card.

    I never did (and always had a tad bit of guilt over that that my score would suffer, but I’m too afraid of debt to carry a balance), and voila, my score was 803 at last check by the bank that just locked in a mortgage to buy our first home, so keep on doin’ what your doin’ Mir!

    Also, my husband has a macbook pro (I have an old ibook, lol) and I am sufficiently jealous of the light up keyboard and all the extras to carry over that jealousy toward Otto. The cute dance helped ease the sting though. ;)

  38. 38
    prophet March 7, 2008 at 10:57 am #

    wrong company, but hey! – “Priceless.”

Design by LEAP