OMG! Ice! Ice from the sky!

There is snow on my deck.

There is ice on the driveway.

I ask you: Did I not leave New England so that I’d no longer have to deal with this nonsense? I think I did.

(What’s that, Otto? Oh, yes, honey. Of course. I left to be with YOU. That was my only concern. True love led me away, and nothing else mattered. You’re right, darling. Love you!)

Nevertheless, last night brought a Great Big Georgia Storm and they didn’t even have the decency to close school, today. But then the children bickered over breakfast and I realized that sure, sleeping in after checking the news would’ve been lovely, but sending them off so that I can work in peace is pretty darn nice, too.

But last year when Otto was down here and we weren’t, there was a day when a storm was PREDICTED and they closed EVERYTHING the night before. (And then they didn’t get a single flake, of course.) So I spent most of last night checking the news to see if they’d closed school, sure that they would err on the side of caution again. BUT NO, this time they were all “oh, snow, pfffft, whatever,” and school wasn’t even delayed.

This meant that I not only had to get up this morning, I had to find Monkey two socks that matched. MY LIFE IS SO HARD.

Last night I also spent some time IMing with Tammy while we both scanned the local news on TV, because we are just that geeky. Tammy has recently entered the purgatory known as “that interminable period when your pregnancy should be just about over but instead you become completely and utterly convinced that you will, in fact, be pregnant until the end of time,” but this did not stop her from being her usual witty self. She did a great rendition of every news anchor, that went something like: “DO YOU SEE THAT THERE IS SNOW ON MY SLEEVE? BECAUSE THERE IS SNOW ON MY SLEEVE. UNBELIEVABLE. AND OVER THERE! ON THE ROAD! THERE’S SNOW THERE, TOO! AND ON THIS STICK!”

People get excited when it snows here, apparently.

Meanwhile, we had noticed the snow right before the kids went to bed, so we called them downstairs with much excitement to BEHOLD THE SNOWY DECK, as if we hadn’t all JUST been up in New England two weeks ago, where the snow was up to Monkey’s chin. But this was DIFFERENT snow! It was SOUTHERN snow!

I skipped a meeting last night that I probably should’ve gone to, which Otto thought was weird of me. It wasn’t that I was afraid of driving on the slick roads—lord knows I have plenty of practice with that—but I WAS very afraid of OTHER people driving on the slick roads, people who have never done it before and don’t understand basic concepts like your brakes not stopping your car if you just stomp on the pedal. I also didn’t go to the grocery store yesterday, even though there was stuff we needed, because I don’t enjoy shopping with people who are making a crazed run on bread and toilet paper.

This is, however, one of those times when I am very grateful to be working from home; because you just know that at every work establishment across northern Georgia today, people are saying to each other, “Crazy weather, huh?” and acting like the twenty snowflakes that fell are, in fact, a sign of the apocalypse.

48 Responses to “OMG! Ice! Ice from the sky!”

  1. 1
    el-e-e January 17, 2008 at 9:25 am #

    That is true — everyone at my office is talking about the NON-EVENT. Oh wait, there WAS an event: Some RAIN.

    Sheesh, people.

  2. 2
    Leandra January 17, 2008 at 9:39 am #

    Everybody at my office is supremely pissed because we were just SURE that everything would be closed today. Come on, people! Where is the Chicken Little attitude of old? I needed a snow day!

  3. 3
    Heather January 17, 2008 at 9:43 am #

    I used to live in GA…and you are right to be afraid of the other drivers!!! They have a hard enough time driving in rush hour traffic….throw some rain in and all drivers on the road lose their mind…..hell, throw snow in and you are screwed! It just doesn’t make any sense….

  4. 4
    StephLove January 17, 2008 at 9:44 am #

    It might snow here (Maryland) later today or we might get freezing rain or maybe nothing. I think the phrase “wintry mix” was invented to cover the meteorologists’ bottoms.

    Child the elder is at school. There might be an early dismissal in the offing, or not. My dilemma is do I put child the younger done for an early nap so I make sure she gets one in case he’s home early or do I hold out for a longer, afternoon nap in which I can get more work done? Ah, winter.

  5. 5
    Sara January 17, 2008 at 9:52 am #

    I’m laughing because: a) you and Otto are now even. He put the board in your basket because he hates splinters–er, loves you, and you moved south because you hate snow–er, love him. And b) after living in Minnesota for 10 years and then moving back to the lower midwest I garner a great bit of entertainment from what people here think is very cold temps and/or a lot of snow. Enjoy the spectacle, is what I say!

  6. 6
    All Adither January 17, 2008 at 10:24 am #

    It’s a bit like that in Seattle too. It snows more often here, but not as much as in the midwest, where I grew up. We get a dusting and it’s THE STORM OF 2008.

    I find it all fairly amusing.

  7. 7
    Karen January 17, 2008 at 10:25 am #

    They didn’t close the schools? Come one, people! How often do you get snow days in the South?! Give over already.

  8. 8
    Brian January 17, 2008 at 10:32 am #

    I spent nine years in Nashville, so I completely understand your amusement at the run on bread. We stayed as far away from Kroger as possible any time the word snow was mentioned. Nashville is so paranoid about snow, they’ll shut down school early if it supposed to snow later that night. Of course, now we live in Miami…people here think its cold if it gets below 50. I guess it’s all relative.

  9. 9
    Aimee January 17, 2008 at 10:39 am #

    Wow — so the Heat Miser finally let it snow in Southtown, eh?

  10. 10
    Bikini January 17, 2008 at 10:40 am #

    I am northwest of Atlanta, and they closed schools here. We have enough snow on the ground to form a pimple on a snowman. It’s a good thing I broke out the airport-elbows to buy up all the bread and milk within 20 miles.

    Not.

  11. 11
    Pave.Gurl January 17, 2008 at 10:42 am #

    Well, you know, down here we generally have the philosophy that snow and/or ice is God’s way of telling us to take the day off. ;) Plus, when you generally only get snow every two or three years that actually sticks, it kinda is the end of the world – you forget how to cope with it ‘cos let’s face it: not much point in maintaining snow equipment for that kinda volume. *grin*

    Sucks, though, that nothing closed. What’s up with that?!

  12. 12
    Jenni January 17, 2008 at 10:48 am #

    I’m in central Texas and all anyone can talk about today is the fact that it might snow tomorrow morning! The weatherman was quick to point out that it probably won’t actually stay frozen long enough to hit the ground…..but we may see some flakes. WOO HOO!

  13. 13
    daysgoby January 17, 2008 at 11:01 am #

    I can remember going to my grandparents in Louisville (Kentucky)in light snow and having there be this eerie silence on the roads – the state police stopped us and asked us what the emergency was. My Dad then had to explain that there was no emergency, that we were just driving from Michigan to visit my relatives, that everything was okay, and by the way, where was everyone else?

    Turns out the city was closed because it had snowed three inches. And (here’s the kicker) the city hadn’t used the snowplows in so long, they’d FORGOTTEN WHERE THEY PUT THEM.

    Yeah.

  14. 14
    Jenni January 17, 2008 at 11:08 am #

    I live in KS. It did snow here. Maybe 2 to 3 inches…I wasn’t motivated enough to go outside with my ruler. School is canceled and the child is decided not happy about it.

    Me: “The child isn’t excited about her day off school”
    Child: “I like school”
    Me: “And there’s no one to play with here”
    Dad: “What about me?”
    Child: “There aren’t any CHILDREN to play with!”
    Me: “Well, Dad sometimes acts like a child…”

  15. 15
    Cera January 17, 2008 at 11:15 am #

    Its snowing here in Canada too. Bigggg surprise. Five years ago I moved from New Jersey to South Florida so I’d never have to see snow again.

    Amazing how that bites you in the ass, hey?

  16. 16
    Mama Bear January 17, 2008 at 11:24 am #

    Close the schools? I live in ND. They don’t close the “in town” schools for anything. Since Mr 18 has been alive, there has been one day where school was closed. Miss 9 has yet to experience that joy. As for myself and my school years I think there were three closings between elementary years and college years. You would think ND would have more school closings than anyway, but that’s definitely not the case.
    We are supposed to have 1 to 3 inches of snow today and wind gusts to 50 mph. Fun, no?

  17. 17
    BethR January 17, 2008 at 11:33 am #

    Here in NC we got a two-hour delay and all it did was rain.

  18. 18
    Megan January 17, 2008 at 11:35 am #

    Makes me remember the year we moved to Virginia from Alaska and it snowed. I sent the kids to school without a thought and they came home in utter bafflement: “It’s a snow day, Mom. What’s a snow day?” Three years in Alaska and never, not once did we have a weather related closure. Snowed once in Virginia and schools were closed for a week. Granted it was partly because they had sold off all their snow plows…

  19. 19
    She-Ra January 17, 2008 at 11:52 am #

    I was out this morning amidst snowflakes (in Virginia!) buying milk. I hate it when I run out of milk when a snowstorm comes to town because then I get lumped in with all those panicking crazies stocking up on milk and TP. Really – I’m not crazy. Just a procrastinator who ran out of milk!

  20. 20
    prophet January 17, 2008 at 11:59 am #

    what is it with snow and crazy shopping runs on milk, bread and toilet paper?!

    I don’t get it.

    It’s snowing here in Maryland, too. BEHOLD! Snowflakes on the twigs of the tree just outside my window.

  21. 21
    shannon in oregon January 17, 2008 at 12:19 pm #

    the entire city closes down in portland, or. the great thing is, the weather people never predict it right. we’ll have the “storm 2008″ headlines on the news and nothing. then they’ll predict a string of sun and we have ice.

    i love living where snow days are rampant (and i’m an adult so i can enjoy them to their fullest). growing up in kansas i think i got maybe a total of 5 snow days the entire time i was in school (elem-high).

    i say BRING ON THE SNOW!!

  22. 22
    Sheila January 17, 2008 at 12:32 pm #

    And magazines! Don’t forget the magazines! Here in WI, it’s as if people have nothing on their minds when it snows but eating bread, drinking milk, using the toilet (natch, after all that bread and milk) and reading People.

  23. 23
    Taylor January 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm #

    I grew up in Alabama and we totally had one of those Phantom Snow Days when I was in High School. Not only was there no snow, but it was a sunny 67 degrees. That may have been the greatest day of my youth.

    Also, I just moved to MA and am currently experiencing my Very First Winter. I can vouch for us southerners not knowing how to drive in the snow, because when we had our very first snowfall in December (on a day when it was 79 degrees in Alabama), I was out driving. And then I tried to stop. And in the 2 seconds that I was skidding, I was all “WTF Brakes? Why aren’t you working” and my breaks were all, “OMG look! CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT IS IT SNOWING? I am too busy being shocked to work properly. Deal!”

    And then there was the crunch. You are right to fear southern drivers.

  24. 24
    Wendy January 17, 2008 at 12:43 pm #

    Well, you should see when it snowed in New Orleans, once. We lost not only our shit, but our will to live. What is this white stuff falling from the sky? Are we going to die? God, help us.

    Now, flood, that is a different story. We will (try) to drive through a few feet of water, anyday, because someone needs to get the beer.

  25. 25
    Amy-Go January 17, 2008 at 12:47 pm #

    I have your snow (and your snow day). You can come get it whenever you want. Now would be good. Please? *whimper*

  26. 26
    jennielynn January 17, 2008 at 12:48 pm #

    Mr. Clairol and I still laugh about the reporter who, while reporting on an actual storm here, said, “You can see this pole is laying on it’s side, which is unusual, since they are generally straight up and down.” No, I am not making that up and yes, she said it with a perfectly straight face.

  27. 27
    Jamie AZ January 17, 2008 at 12:51 pm #

    We’ve been in Arizona almost a year now, but reading this makes me miss the Dallas-Ft. Worth newscasts whenever cold weather was approaching – it was always the ARCTIC BLAST! on the news. Hubby and I always used to laugh at it. We miss hearing ARCTIC BLAST all throughout the newscast…

  28. 28
    Kathy January 17, 2008 at 1:02 pm #

    my kids were SO excited about the snow last night that it *almost* made me think about moving back up North! They were also hoping for a snow day, but I know that we would have to have about 2 feet and extreme ice before our school dept. would cancel school – we are always the LAST school system in metro ATL to cancel (sigh) and usually they don’t cancel and we are the ONLY ones in Metro ATL that has school on a bad day. I always feel bad for our school secretary on these days, she gets more phone calls asking if we are open!

  29. 29
    Lisa January 17, 2008 at 1:04 pm #

    Oh my goodness, you are weather spoiled now. Come back to New England and grow back that hair on your chest!

  30. 30
    elizabeth January 17, 2008 at 1:06 pm #

    total non-event. yes, we had a dusting of slushy stuff on the lawn last night and the teenager was all “you’ll see mom, they’re gonna call off school tomorrow.” but he is at school, I’m at work. just knew it would turn into nothing.

    and as for Atlanta drivers: instant idiots, just add water.

  31. 31
    tammy January 17, 2008 at 1:06 pm #

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. I AM going to be pregnant forever.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy a new shed to store the 3,296 rolls of toilet paper that I purchased to prepare for the ice apocalypse.

  32. 32
    Tootsie Farklepants January 17, 2008 at 1:07 pm #

    Our local news behaves similarly when rain is predicted. There is a storm “team” formed. They broadcast from various parts…the beach, the city, the burbs, the hood… and will insist that “JUST BEFORE YOU CUT TO ME IT RAINED RIGHT OVER THERE! I SWEAR! IF YOU HAD JUST CUT SOONER YOU’D OF SEEN IT! PROMISE”. So, yeah. Today we have the Santa Ana winds and it knocked a tree down and caught a car on fire last night. While I suppose it IS newsworthy in a way, it was apparently the ONLY thing the wind did. So we get to see it continuously.

  33. 33
    BOSSY January 17, 2008 at 1:14 pm #

    Weirdest winter eh-ver. Meanwhile in Bossy’s Northeastern neighborhood, no nuttin’.

  34. 34
    ellen January 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm #

    I grew up in the land of lots of snow and bitter cold. Then I went to grad school in the South East. I scoffed at the first winter “storm” and then proceeded to eat a crow-filled meal that continues TO THIS DAY by sliding off the road and into a ditch. Ice. Who knew?

  35. 35
    Carolyn, the other January 17, 2008 at 1:36 pm #

    Wow. I just had flashbacks – both of snow in Alabama and of that last month of pregnancy.

    I don’t know if you do ‘em, Mir, but I tagged you at http://www.MamaNeedsaBookContract.com to tell us the secret of good, powerful writing. I figured you would know it, since I keep coming back here even though normally I wouldn’t care to read about teensy amounts of snow in a state I never lived in and don’t plan on moving to.

    Must be good, powerful writing!

  36. 36
    Zee January 17, 2008 at 2:30 pm #

    My first thought upon reading this was whether or not they have any snow plows in Georgia. Cuz, you know how in New England when it snows they have big ole plows and people with plow thingies on their cars and the roads are CLEAR, for the most part?

    Yeah, here in Oregon, where it snows maybe twice a year, there are TWO snow plows. For the entire city. So, yeah, I totally understand the “OMG SNOW” freakout. Staying in and avoiding scary drivers is the best plan, if you can swing it. You may have seen this video from last year’s storm; that’s about 2 miles from where I live. :)

  37. 37
    Jenny Ryan January 17, 2008 at 3:56 pm #

    And the milk. Don’t forget the fact that it is now impossible to find any milk not contained in the original cow at this moment here in GA.

  38. 38
    Karen January 17, 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    I saw on the news that there was some snow in Georgia and my very first though was of YOU. LOL. I was wondering what you were going to say about it today. Does that seem a bit stalkerish to you too? :)

  39. 39
    Flea January 17, 2008 at 4:02 pm #

    Harumph. I moved north – I know, Mir, Tulsa’s not New England – to experience snow and we’ve had two flakes in the last year. You took my snow! Please send it here. We’ve been looking all over for it.

    Wendy, I remember when it snowed in NO. Back in ’89? I lived south of New Orleans and we all just freaked. It was awesome!

  40. 40
    dad January 17, 2008 at 4:17 pm #

    Mim,
    You grew up in a town where winter lasts eight months a year. Lest you forget, it snows constantly from October through April and over half the population comes here from someplace else. Most of them have never driven in snow. Some , I suspect, have never seen it. To add to the debacle we have hills. Steep ones. The two unique activities that spontaeously take place are (1) college students sleding on cafeteria trays and (2)us natives watching cars coming down the roads into town…sideways.
    You just learn to deal with it.
    Have faith in GA. Tomorrow it will probably be in the 60′s.

  41. 41
    Terri January 17, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    They totally would have closed school if the dern stuff had just had the decency to stick overnight. Instead, we had rain wash it away in the night. But this morning they said that it is expected to snow on Saturday, so maybe the kids will get another chance to frolic in the white stuff (and get frostbite since they’re so unaccustomed to wearing gloves). :)

  42. 42
    momof3angels January 17, 2008 at 6:23 pm #

    One of the funniest parts about the whole SNOW STORM OF THE CENTURY here was in our neighborhood(Northern ATL)EVERY kid under the age of 16 was outside at 7pm in the dark running around like it was the first day of summer! Sledding on pool toys in the dark! Making Snowmen in the dark! Having snowball fights in the dark! This is with about 1.5 inches of snow on the ground. It was a hoot n’anny, I’m telling ya! You could almost hear the collective groans from the kids this morning when they all realized it was not a snow day.

  43. 43
    Heidi January 17, 2008 at 7:44 pm #

    Sixteen years of living in Montana and I can only think of one time the schools closed–it was 20 degrees below zero.

  44. 44
    Heidi January 17, 2008 at 7:50 pm #

    Zee – omigosh, that video is amazing!

  45. 45
    Randi January 17, 2008 at 8:10 pm #

    As someone who has lived in Vermont for her entire life, I can’t imagine having a winter without snow! It just seems so…wrong!!

    But, then again, I did just have go to spend almost $300 to get two new tires and an alignment because of all the snow….

  46. 46
    julie January 17, 2008 at 8:56 pm #

    My 13 year old was soooo mad when he woke to having to go to school. “I can’t believe we have to go to school on a snow day!”. 90% chance of more on Saturday!

  47. 47
    saucygrrl January 18, 2008 at 8:15 am #

    If it makes you feel at all better, the fine people of Cape Cod can’t seem to get driving in weather down either. And we experience weather here ALL THE TIME. Of course, we also experience elderly folks driving through store fronts all the time too… maybe these two are connected in some way Hmm… ;)

  48. 48
    The Over-Thinker January 18, 2008 at 8:06 pm #

    A favorite Snow Day memory…
    My parents taught in a different school district than the one I attended. At the first snow fall of my 6th grade year, our district was canceled and theirs wasn’t. I spent the day in my pajamas, watching “naughty” HBO and eating brown sugar straight from the bag. Awesome.

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