September 15, 2006 | Retail Therapy
I’ve got a weighty matter or twelve rattling around in my brain, and I cry uncle. It’s the end of the week. I can only think seriously about anything for so long before my left eyelid starts to twitch. I. Have had. ENOUGH.
And when the tough have had enough, the tough go shopping.
Normally I’m content to indulge in the smallest bit of retail therapy for my fix; although I probably TALK as though shopping is my second career, the truth is that it takes very little to satiate me. I do a lot of shopping but not a lot of buying. And what I do buy is likely to be so cheap it barely even counts as shopping.
But that’s the deal for normal stressors, not when I’m really feeling frazzled within inches of my sanity. A $6 pair of clearance shoes is not going to cut it, this time. No, the time has come to tackle the mother of all purchases, and I need your help.
I’m aware of the irony. Here I spend a good chunk of my time giving others buying advice, and yet I’m asking for help. Shopper, guide thyself! Or, um, something! Oh, just hear me out.
The crux of the matter is this: I am sleeping on a bed I bought (cheap! and used! and let’s not think about the used part too much, because YUCK) in grad school. More accurately, I am—at this point—barely sleeping on the bed I bought in grad school.
It is an industrial metal t-frame (the kind most mattress places will give you for free) underneath a full-size, lumpy mattress set. It has been dying a slow death for years, and despite the padded “comfort top” cover I bought for it, despite the planks I strategically placed between the boxspring and the mattress in an effort to shore up the weak points, it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad bed.
I’ve been thinking about replacing this bed ever since I divorced and my ex took the queen bed. This bed was the guest bed (we were awesome hosts, clearly… come for the screaming brats, stay for the back pain) for years before it became my bed again. But, you know. Money. Practicality. Maybe it’s not so bad. And so the years have ticked away.
Well. It’s becoming less of a “wouldn’t it be nice if…” and more of a “for the love of all that is holy…” sort of matter. My neck is still not the same since the car crash last winter, and I can’t help thinking that the bed isn’t really helping matters.
Fortunately, I have been siphoning funds (siphoning funds! am in my own imaginary mob!) into a Bed Fund for a while. It will cause me to blanche and swoon, but I do think I’ve just about worked myself up to the mindset necessary to fork over a big wad of cash in order to have something comfortable upon which to slumber. Buying a bed is not the issue.
The issue is WHICH BED to buy. And here is where I humbly entreat you to share your collective wisdom with me.
No, I’m not looking for recommendations on a particular brand. I want to know what SIZE to buy.
The current bed is a full, and it is CLEARLY too small. Case in point: Chickadee wandered into my room in the middle of the night, miserable, with a cold, last week. I allowed her to hop into bed with me and then spent the remainder of the night clinging to the edge of the mattress for dear life and attempting to dislodge her elbow from my nose. There is a reason that her first nickname is Chickie, and her second nickname is BEDPIG.
The bed I used to have was a queen, and that was quite nice. I suspect that what I should do is buy another queen. Although if BOTH kids want to pile in and watch cartoons—particularly if there are two adults involved (here I shall pause and attempt to look innocent and pure in response to your expectant expression until I can find something shiny to distract you)—it could get a little tight.
My standard advice in matters of bed shopping is that a king-size bed is an extravagance unless the people involved are giants. I’m 5′6″ and not really a bedpig like Chickadee and I generally sleep alone. (Although, I do believe there’s a verse in that whole Said The Spider To The Fly thing where she says “Hey! I have a REALLY BIG BED!”)
And yet… the idea of being able to tuck an ailing child into my bed and sleep comfortably beyond flailing limbs is intoxicating. The notion that I could fold a mountain of laundry atop such a bed without running out of room by the time I get to the socks is alluring. The concept of such a vast expanse of comfort purely for sleeping (or, maybe, um, Scrabble) is enticing.
The price differential between a queen and a king is not insignificant, but not insurmountable, either. It comes down to whether I do my standard “this is probably enough, and the more frugal choice” or just throw caution to the wind, treat this as a 20-year investment (amortize for easy justification!), stand tall and say I’m 35 years old and I hardly ever spend on myself and I want a king-sized bed, DAMMIT.
Cast your vote! King or queen? Bonus points for compelling arguments for or against, but keep it clean. While you think about it, I’ll be over here, sleeping in the lumpy bed, and dreaming of my wonderful new bed where I never wake up in the night to discover that one of my ass cheeks has fallen asleep. You’re welcome.
September 15th, 2006 at 12:47 am
I say go for the King-sized bed. You deserve it.
Especially if you’re going to be sharing it with kiddos.
(Truth be told, when our twins are both in our bed, a Cal King seems a little tight).
Hope your neck feels better right away! Accidents are evil to your body. My sympathies!
P.S. I know you’ll get a great bargain no matter what size bed you buy. Make me proud. :)
September 15th, 2006 at 12:50 am
Oh, Mir to have your dilema. Here are thoughts to ponder…
Queen size beds keep you close enough to snuggle…but offer you enough room to scoot away when the hot flashes hit.
King size offers the same, but you find after a time the cuddling diminishes before the onset of hotflashes. Wait maybe that was just my second marriage (no that was a queen.)
Queen size beds are not too big if you’re sleeping by yourself…at 5′6 you could sleep in either direction with out worry.
King size beds offer you enough room to rotate corners through half the week and start over again on Thursday. Plus when Chickie starts hogging you can send her off to Siberia at the foot of the bed…on wait she’ll be asleep. How do you feel about Siberia?
The question that would be a weighing factor….what size sheets do you already own? And by the way Amazon has a great set of sheets for really great price….
http://www.amazon.com/250-Thread-Count-Cotton-Sateen-Stripe-Queen/dp/B000CDHOKO/sr=8-12/qid=1158295751/ref=sr_1_12/002-4203560-3150411?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden
I suggest the Queen…but that’s just me :)
September 15th, 2006 at 12:57 am
king. all the way. I downsized post-divorce to a queen (I didn’t want the king bed he’d slept with ‘her’ in, thankyouverymuch) because of money/rebellion against what I had before. Many, many, many nights of wee bitty children doing their gymnastics routines have made me long for and covet the king I gave up. If I had not kids, the queen would be enough, but two kids is too much for one teeny tiny little queen bed, when kids, as you know, have the ability to, while sleeping, suddely grow arms and legs three times their daytime length. Said appendages also seem to come with multiple pointy elbows and knees per limb.
King. All the Way. Live it up. Otto will thank you by helping you test each and every location on the bed, I’m sure.
September 15th, 2006 at 1:01 am
How much space do you have in your bedroom? Would you be able to get a king bed up the stairs? Is Otto tall?
Being almost 6′ myself and my husband is 6′3″ I long for a king. However, our queen is taking up almost the whole bedroom right now so a king is out of our question.
So, if you have the space for a king…king. At least my vote is that (although I do understand what Cele is saying about cuddle time, etc).
September 15th, 2006 at 1:59 am
We have two kids and two adults in the house. We have a queen bed. It’s large enough for all of us to cufddle close if we want (especially on cold winter mornings), large enough for a family board game, and large enough for gymnastics.
I’d say go for a queen.
You’ll be thankful for the extra floor space you have over the king. For me, floor I can see equals a clean room. The less floor space I have, the more cramped and uncomfortable I feel. Call it a Feng Shui thing if you want, but it’ll give you more confidence trying to land that triple flip off of the trampoline. *chuckle*
September 15th, 2006 at 3:56 am
We got the Cal King and I feel like I’m in a different room from hubby now. I don’t like it, wish we’d done the queen. But if that’s what you’re looking for then get the king. I think a queen would’ve been more then fine–even with kids & pets and etc… But we have plenty of room to snuggle that’s for sure.
Sheet are way EXPENSIVE for a king too, consider that.
September 15th, 2006 at 4:41 am
We have a king and my daughter (who joins us sometime between midnight and dawn) is such an aggressive sleeper that sometimes even the king feels crowded. I wouldn’t have anything less, but our bedroom really is ALL BED, so if floor space is important to you there’s that to consider too. King all the way for me though. We got a king-sized waterbed frame so we could use the drawers in it for storage to replace the dresser we obviously wouldn’t have room for anymore, then just used a regular mattress in the frame.
September 15th, 2006 at 4:46 am
I sleep curled up like a dormouse but the point is I could sleep like a starfish if I wanted to - in a queen. It doesn’t feel huge and lonely when I sleep alone but there’s enough space for everyone to have a good sleep when the kids start playing musical beds. Thats my vote - queen.
September 15th, 2006 at 5:26 am
I’m single with cats. I dream of a King so that when the cats sleep in the exact center of the bed I have room to sleep around them (whaddaya mean, move them?) without falling off the bed.
September 15th, 2006 at 6:14 am
You americans have way too small beds! I honestly have no idea how you all can sleep at all! When I slept in a typical american bed I was afraid to fall out most of the night because if you get too close to the side the soft mattress GIVES WAY!!! Help! I’m falling!
Anyway, all I’m trying to say is that in other parts of the world what you think of as a Queen size would be considered a comfortable bed for a single person ALONE.
We are a family of four and we love love love our big bed. It is 2 meters by 2 meters and I would not go for less. Google tells me 2 meters = 6.56167979 feet or 2 meters = 78.7401575 inch so you figure that our for yourself.
Go big.
September 15th, 2006 at 6:58 am
I vote for the king. I don’t have one but my next bed will be one!
September 15th, 2006 at 7:11 am
King is the best- I don’t know what I wuld do without it. However, remember that if you buy yourself a king-sized bed, you are cursing yourself to a life of buying much more expensive sheets and comforters. Check out the price differences at Target or BedBath, and see if you will cringe every time you have to buy sheets. I would own many more sets of sheets and perhaps even more than 2 comforters (very old ones!) if we had a queen bed. But do get a new one, regardless of size - there’s nothing that beats a good night’s sleep!
September 15th, 2006 at 7:13 am
I vote king, simply b/c you want one and you might be sharing with a person of the male persuasion long term (fingers and toes all crossed!) Also, I know you weren’t casting about for brand suggestions, but do you have Original Mattress Company where you are? We got a deluxe pillow-top king-sized mattress and box spring there, and it is every bit as nice as one of the huge mattress companies that begin with S, and cost about $1500 less.
September 15th, 2006 at 7:17 am
I’m 5′ and hubby is 6′, and we’re both in a Queen bed. Fine in our youth and early part of our marriage when we wanted to be more snuggly, but now it just feels TOO crowded, especially on hot nights when the AC isn’t on yet. I SOOOO wish we had a King.
A few months ago on “The Early Show”, they had a segment on how much more difficult it is to sleep as we get older, and one of the recommendations was to get a King-sized bed - if you want the bed to last as long as the current one (which sounds like our bed, by the way), you might as well make the investment in a King now, before you’re actually “older”!
September 15th, 2006 at 7:29 am
I love my Cal King. It’s perfect. Wider than a queen but not as wide as an Eastern King. It fits in a room better and is enough extra room that hubby and I don’t need to touch if we don’t want to.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:01 am
King all the way!
I love my husband and I love to snuggle pre-sleep, but absolutely hate to be touched while sleeping. We are currently sleeping on a queen size that his parents handed down to him before we got married (over 10 yrs ago) and I have begun a quiet campaign for an upgrade to a brand new king sized bed. Floor space isn’t a concern for us - our bedroom is relatively big - and even though the kids rarely pile into our bed I’d like to have that option again!
September 15th, 2006 at 8:15 am
King…but don’t think it will keep the kids’ flailing appendages out of reach. Somehow, my kid still ends up on top of my head anyway.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:26 am
Here’s my 3.54 cents (adjusted for inflation):
I currently have a queen and a fiance - no kids. He’s quite tall, I’m rather medium-sized. A queen is perfect for us. We have enough space to cuddle when we want to, but stay apart when it is disgustingly hot outside (until last month, we lived in Miami, FL). It is easy to find nice sheets at good prices. In Miami, our master bedroom was absolutely enormous. We could have gotten a king and fit it in there with plenty of space to spare. But, as I mentioned, we moved. To Cleveland. Where the style of houses is drastically different than the open, tropical Miami architecture. If we’d bought a king, it would never have fit in our new bedroom.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:31 am
I vote for king. You of all people can find a deal for the sheets that are slightly more expensive. I have 4 kids, and a king size bed is perfect for the nights when they are too sick to sleep in their own beds. My two year old slept in my bed last night and even though he is somewhat of a wild sleeper, I slept just fine since I could put him in the middle of the bed not touching either my husband or I. Whatever you do, don’t buy a sleepnumber bed. We got one even though they are super expensive because my mother in law told us it was the best thing ever. It is ok, but I can’t tell a big enough difference between it and a regular matress for it to be worth so much money.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:35 am
i have a queen and i notice that whether in a queen, single, double or king, my daughter always finds a way to make it close to me and have a few limbs hanging off of me… so it isn’t the size of the bed that matters, they always end up on top of you or hitting you or something of the sort.
Also, consider the price of the sheets… from what i have been told, it is MUCH more pricey to get king sheets than queen.
but you know, life is short… and if you really WANT a king sized bed and you CAN afford it and have room for it… why the heck not?? :)
September 15th, 2006 at 8:37 am
King size beds seem too vast to me. We have a queen and whenever we sleep in a king in a hotel or something, we don’t like how far apart we are. At home, our queen is fine for me, my husband, and my 4-month-old daughter to sleep in every night.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:45 am
KING. Because you want one, baby, and that by God should be reason enough. Shopper, treat thyself! ;)
September 15th, 2006 at 8:48 am
King. Kingkingkingkingking.
When you want to cuddle, you can. When you are hot and sticky, or grumpy, or whatever…you have your space without leaving the room. I have wonderful memories of Sunday mornings with the three of us kids and my parents, all sprawled on their king bed.
For us, it was either a king or separate bedrooms.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:52 am
Heck, I’d say go for the king! Absolutely you deserve it. But, there is one small caveat….with a king, there is a hump in the middle and try as I might, it’s really just more comfortable to sleep on one side or the other. So, yes, you’d have room for kids galore (we have 2 adults and 2 kids in ours on a nightly basis), HOWEVER, if you want that kind of full abandon of sleeping spread eagled in the very middle and enjoying the s p a c e all to your self, you’d probably be more comfortable with a humpless (unless it’s of your own making :oP)queen.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:57 am
King. I love my king sized bed. Two adults, 2 kids (one large, one small), and as many as 3 dogs can all fit for Saturday morning cartoon viewing.
And also, 2 adults can have a heck of a time with all that room, if you catch my drift, and I think you do.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:04 am
Mir,
The very first thing I bought myself (with what money I don’t know) after my divorce was a king sized bed. I live a very G rated life, there is no one in that bed with me, and I am just 5′6. Over the years my kids and I have sprawled, crawled, slept and wept on this bed. I have never. Never. As in not one single time. Regretted this purchase. I have two sets of wonderful (high quality cotton) sheets purchased at a great sale price that I rotate through. Go King.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:05 am
If you have room for the King go for it! We don’t have the room so our queen is great for us, and it is a sleep number bed which works well for us, he of soft bed needs and she of firm bed needs, otherwise we’d be in two separate beds in order to get any sleep!
September 15th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Oh, a dilemma! I currently have a queen and am very happy with it. However I am no longer married and have no kids with sniffly noses or nightmares who need to share my sleep space. Further, I am a HUGE sheet snob and refuse to own bed coverings that are not soft-as-butter. With a queen, I can get those lovely sheets in my bed size without taking out a loan. BUT, with kids and/or additional individuals possibly sharing a bed, I may be tempted to punch the ticket for the king.
Yeah, I probably helped a lot, didn’t I?
September 15th, 2006 at 9:29 am
King! We upgraded to a king size bed about 5 years ago, and there are still days when I sink into bed and think “THIS was the best money we ever spent”
You are super shopper, and even I have had no trouble finding sheets on special or end of stock for a reasonable price.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:38 am
another vote for king-size. we used babysit different kids while their parents were out of town. got to/had to try a whole lotta different beds. king-size, hands down.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:40 am
I have a Cal King- and vote for either that or a regular King if your room is big enough. Folding clothes, doing paperwork, restless kids, all go better in the larger bed (note I did not reference any other activities- just following directions). Sheets are not that much more expensive (if at all) especially for someone with your mad shopping skills.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:44 am
Oh, totally go for a king. DH is a giant (6′5) so we had to get a cali king for his length, but it’s not as wide as a regular king. Oh, how I still drool at the regular king.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:49 am
QUEEN! We actually had a queen bought a king and went back to a queen for the sake of coziness.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:50 am
Absolutely King. When you have a significant other in the bed who is not the father of your child, you end up sleeping in the middle with child on the outside. (Esp as girl approaches teen years - no matter how much the “other” is wonderful and loves you both, it doesn’t feel right to have her in bed between you, and alternative is she is not allowed in bed, which is not fair.) You’ll want the king.
ABSOLUTELY love the kind of bed with the air (slct cmfrt or something like that - worth the money, esp. the base model) everyone is comfy, 20 year guarantee. I know you didn’t ask that question, but I am a convert (never would have believed it, I don’t go for gimic - and I would never buy a traditional mattress again)
September 15th, 2006 at 9:50 am
QUEEN! But it depends. If your bedroom is very large and roomy, go for the king. However, I like having other pieces of furniture in my large bedroom besides a bed, and a king just seems to dominate the space too much. I’m 5′8″ and my hubbie is 6′2″, and we don’t feel squashed in a queen. And, we really don’t spend a lot of time in the bed with the kiddo, other than tickle fests. When kiddo is feeling badly, I would prefer that she is in HER bed. When we are feeling badly, I prefer my husband on the couch. Good luck and let us know what you decide.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:52 am
Queen! And here’s why. Let’s just say there are two adults involved. In a king, and of course I would not be talking about my own experiences, two adults could swim all night long and never actually touch each other. Again, just speaking hypothetically because I wouldn’t have any personal experience in a situation like this, but there ends up being about 13 feet between my - I mean one partner and another partner - especially when your reading lights are located on your night tables or too far from each other on the wall. It is great when there are two kids and two adults in the same bed, but that happens once a month and probably could happen in a queen without a huge problem anyway.
Or so I’ve heard.
September 15th, 2006 at 9:54 am
There are two average sized adults, one two year old, two large dogs, and one small dog that share our king bed. Kids and pets will sleep on top of you regardless of how much space you have.
When we were first married, we had frequent opportunities to travel and used that as a way to ‘try on’ the king sized hotel beds. Of course, they were tested sans kids and pets and we still loved the extra sprawl space.
I will caution you on the pillow top, though. Our major name brand mattress is only 5 years old. We’ve flipped and rotated it on a regular basis. Still, we have huge holes wallowed out on both sides. We are preparing to do battle with their customer service before we buy a replacement.
So, go to a hotel and try out a king ;)
September 15th, 2006 at 9:56 am
I read this last night and slept on it. Now I’m ready to answer.
King.
Pros: You plan on having this bed for awhile. Which means it will become a bed you share with a man on a consistant basis (assuming, correctly, that you will find a suitable — yes, we wan to interview him too — mate in the next ten years. You will want to have room for said mate when he arrives (Otto, when are you moving northwards?) While you are sleeping alone, it is large enough for “bedpig” and Monkey AND you (with your legs still attached) — and don’t forget Bedpig and Monkey aren’t getting smaller — they will grow AND continue to want to crawl into bed with you.
Cons: the only cons I’ve got is the fact you’ve mentioned MANY times that sheets for a king are EXPENSIVE. And yes, they can be. But you are the queen of deals, so you will sort it all out.
On the question you didn’t ask. After 7+ years with my double pillow top matteress, I’m not going to suggest you get one of those. They have to be turned too often for my taste, mine got lumpy quickly, and after a sorter than I wanted time, I began to drool for a new bed. I’ve been promised I get one on my next move (I’m also leaving my couch, chair and a half, and lots of other crap). Now, let’s all join me in a quick prayer to the government gods to promote my husband so I can move and re-decorate, thanks!
September 15th, 2006 at 9:59 am
Well, I never felt the need for more than a queen. A king is the same length as a queen, so what you’re getting is extra flailing room which hasn’t been an issue for us. However, if you use the bed as an extra romper room or you like to sleep Walton’s-style with the whole family, then obviously a king has its advantages. If a king is something you’ve always longed for and you have the space for it, then go ahead and indulge yourself. You’re a big girl now. It just isn’t something that blows my skirt up, as they say.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:07 am
King!
Comfort is the key.
I have tried both and I much perfer the king. There is enough room so that hubby and I can cuddle or sleep completely apart. I would love to be the type of person that could sleep cuddled up to someone else the entire night. Unfortunately, I end up with a sore back/arm/neck/etc. if I even make it through the night.
That laundry you mentioned, I do laundry on this bed all the time. I can seperate hubby’s, son’s & my clothes by shirts/pants/etc very comfortably.
Also, I know the price of sheets/comforters/etc are going to be more but you can certainly find cheaper prices being the bargain hunter you are. Bed in a bags should be out of the question right away. We found our set at TJMaxx. We were able to mix and match and ended up with a perfect set that fits our decorating style.
You cannot possibly imagine some of the things you can do on a bed this size. Since you asked us to keep it clean I won’t mention them. :D
September 15th, 2006 at 10:17 am
KING!
We invested in a King-sized bed about 2 years ago and while we aren’t giants, we do have 3 kids who like to sleep with us. That and if I don’t put the laundry away, there’s still room for us to sleep ;)
September 15th, 2006 at 10:18 am
I vote king. But I just have to ask, you let the ex have the good bed?
September 15th, 2006 at 10:24 am
A king and only a king size bed. Believe me when I say that a king size bed is the only way to go. You still won’t have room for kids (or two adults-looks up innocently), but when you do get the bed to yourself all that room will be heaven on earth.
I talk from experience of living with three cats who are really bedhogs in cat fur, but when I am not decatting the bed every three minutes and a half all that roooommmmmm is heaven on earth.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:32 am
King if you have the apace for it. YOu can find King sheets at reasonable prices if you go to Marshall’s and places like that. Just think of all. that. room.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:32 am
or, you know, the SSSSSSSSSSSSpace for it. Jeez.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:37 am
You want a king, get a king. Why the debate?
My personal experience/preference after 21 years of marriage is for a queen. there’s room for both without losing the intimacy of sleeping together. I can reach out for a reassuring touch without having to wake up and move across the bed. However - we don’t all crawl into bed on weekend/holiday mornings nor move the child in with us when sick (after they were babies, that is) so we didn’t need the extra space.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:39 am
What you CLEARLY need is a giant racecar bed. Don’t let anyone else tell you anything different.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:47 am
King.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:59 am
the queen should always be on top of her king.
September 15th, 2006 at 11:24 am
kingkingkingkingkingKING!!!!!
and that’s all I have to say about that. :)
September 15th, 2006 at 11:25 am
I vote for King. It sounds like you really want it, in my opinion you NEVER spend enough on yourself and you DESERVE it! Treat yourself to some luxury! :)
September 15th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Queen, hands down. We have one and two children, plenty of room. Every time we go to a hotel for a romantic getaway we think, oh, a King bed! And then I spend the rest of the night thinking how crappy this is because it feels like I’m in a different room than my spouse rather than the same bed. Not romantic at all. We don’t sleep all snuggled together, but it’s nice to know your mate is an arms reach away, even when you are mad :-) I suggest you try one out for a night, either with a kid (they will still sleep on top of you) or someone else. You really won’t know what’s right until you see for yourself what you think.
September 15th, 2006 at 11:38 am
King.
If they made bigger than king-sized, I’d buy THAT.
September 15th, 2006 at 11:57 am
Depends on your sleep preference (and possibly Otto’s?)
Personally, KING is the only way to go for us. He is tall and snores, I can’t sleep with someone touching me.
Don’t be put off by the price of king sheets, deals are to be had everywhere. We recently got a set of 400-ct 100%-cotton sateen (not SATIN!) sheets at BB&B for less than $50. AND to all the nay-sayers…queen was the same price.
Comforters are a different story, but you only need one of those, and you can pick up a down or down-alternative one on sale. And then get different covers to suit your decorating fancy.
September 15th, 2006 at 11:57 am
At the risk of repetition, since I have not read all the above comments:
Does anyone else find it obvious that Mir is just jonesing for justification so she can buy something more than merely adequate? It’s okay Mir, you’ve sacrificed enough by sleeping on lumps for years. It’s KING TIME, lady!!
bec :D
September 15th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
King! I bought mine when I moved, and I love every inch of it. Worth every penny.
September 15th, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Once you get a KING, you will never go back…it is HEAVENLY!!
September 15th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
King. Two piece box spring and one piece mattress, is the pigs ear.
September 15th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
I say go wild! Get the King! Splurge! ENJOY!!
September 15th, 2006 at 12:33 pm
Get a king! We have one and my hubby and one of our kids can fit comfortably, when necessary. If both wanted to hop in, I’m sure it would be snug, but totally doable. Plus, it is like a 20 year investment, and if you buy a queen, you may regret it down the road when…um…a hubby is trying to sleep next to you, AND a child or two wants to cozy up. Also, Hubby and I both have room to spread out in the king bed! Woo hoo!
September 15th, 2006 at 1:07 pm
I would say king and only because from your post I’m reading that that is truly what you want. Who is to say that you don’t deserve it? At first it will feel like you’re sleeping in a HUGE space but you’ll love it when the kids want to join you. This is one thing that I would seriously encourage you to splurge on. Nothing is more valuable than a decent night’s sleep.
September 15th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
definitely the king. for god’s sake, woman, indulge yourself one bloody time. also, it will come in handy if, perchance, you are not sleeping by yourself. that’s my argument, and i’m sticking to it.
September 15th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
King, bay-bee!! Why? Because you can!! Hey, never mind the price differential on sheets! You, the bargain shopper of bargain shoppers? Pshaw on the more expensive sheets! You can find the best priced king sheets anywhere, I’d bet! Hand over the irregulars! They work just as well.
I love me my king bed. LURVE it! And even if the kid is in there with me, believe me, he’s like a heat-seeking missile so it wouldn’t matter if the bed were the size of my living room; I would still be hanging on to about 2″ of the edge of the bed, waking up, and whispering as I’m moving him, “Mommy’s moving you, Nate . . . . ” and muttering to myself, “so I don’t fall out of the darn thing during the night thankyouverymuch!”
ANYWAYS, I have king-sized and despite the fact that nearly nothing else fits in my bedroom, I’ll never go back to any other sized bed. It feels luxurious and wonderful. And Miss Mir, you are just Worth It! Go for it!
September 15th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Yes, the king size sheets are more expensive if you buy them straight up. But being the clearance rack Goddess that I am, I have scoured many a half-price bins for sheets to fit my queen size bed, and have noticed that frequently the only clearance-priced sheets are the KING-sized ones.
You spend half you life in bed. Get the big one. You deserve it for having been disciplined enough to save all that $$$!
September 15th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
We have a California King, because Wade is tall, and we LOVE it (except for the part where it’s hard to buy sheets, because it’s a CAL King and not a regular king, but whatever). Wade’s out of town, and last night I folded laundry and then left it all on his side of the bed. This morning, still neatly folded! Because the bed is big enough for me AND the laundry. Or my husband. Whatever.
Go king. It’s an oasis of sleepy laundry comfort.
September 15th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
Hi, I am delurking for this one! Yay me! Anway go with the King. My husband and I are both 5′6, have a king bed and when we have our three year old crawl into bed with us (he is also a bedpig)no one gets a goodnight sleep. If you are going to have two munchikins sleeping with you, you are going to want the king. Trust me.
Plus you deserve it!=)
September 15th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I personally like the queen size, but I buy king sized comforters and top sheets. That way when my husband turns over and drags the comforter to his side of the bed, I don’t end up freezing.
September 15th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I think you should think about why you want a king. Chickie will still flail and kick and leave assorted bumps and bruises when she sleeps with you, because this is the nature of children. However, I have a pre teen daughter and she has a step father and yes, I sleep in the middle, with one on either side, because he loves her dearly and thinks of her as his own, but it is ooky for a man to lay in a bed beside a pajama clad tween girl. ‘Nuff said.
I ‘ve had both queen and king. The sheets are more expensive, but the jump in price is the same as full to queen, in most cases. If you go for a king, be sure to get the right sheets, which is hard if you’re shopping at off price places like TJ Maxx. I like the king because I can choose between snuggle and “get the hell away from me, it’s too damn hot to cuddle.” I don’t like the king because I haven’t yet found a mattress pad that doesn’t come off at the corners.
I know, I know…you said keep it clean. Sorry, I tend to work blue these days. Censor the following:
The sex is not notably better in a king than a queen for us, but we are married with small children, so any sex is good sex. It does take up the bedroom,(the bed, not the sex) but that’s less space for me to clean. And your Roomba can vacuum underneath the bed no matter what size you get. Maybe during sex…how kinky. ;0
September 15th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
King size. Even if it’s a California King. You may be alone now, but if you marry the adult version of the BED PIG, you’ll be thanking yourself over and over and over again. You should trust me on this because I am married to the adult version of the BED PIG and often joke that I need to wear a hockey helmet to bed.
Plus, it’s great for when my 14 month old ends up in bed with us in the middle of the night.
September 15th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
I have to vote for a King. We have 3 little ones and there are days when all 5 of us pile into bed together for a nap and a king barely fits us. As far as cuddle time goes, my husband and I have never stopped cuddling just because there is extra space in the bed. That I think is just a matter of what your relationship is like. Plus, when you’re jumping on the bed, you want to make sure you have enough room so that you don’t get hurt!
I wouldn’t go so far as to get a California King, though. My mom has one and she has trouble finding sheets she likes in that size. There is a whole less variety linens-wise.
September 15th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Hi Mir, my you sure are pretty! I was just itching to respond to your cry for help, but when I saw that 68 others had already given their opinion, I thought nah, no point. I am sure she can make up her mind with all of the thought and insight already given my your readers. I went back to my turkey, avocado and cheese sandwich and started thinking about the issue and I decided just to join in. I had a queen bed from the time I left my parent’s house until January of this year (approx 29 years). At that point, Hubby and I rescued a 2 yr old 105 pound german shepherd dog and a 50 pound black lab. We have no children, so we fully share our lives with our dogs. And yes, that does include the bed. It was positively claustrophobic in the queen with Sophie and Holly and George and Robin, so I whined and begged and nagged and whined some more and we upsized to a standard king (76×80). I am 5′10, hubby slightly shorter, so we did not need the extra length of a Cal-King (72×84), but sorely needed the extra width. All 4 of us start out in the bed, doing our good-night routine but after the lights go out, Sophie (the GSD) goes to her own bed at the foot of ours. Holly does sleep with us though. If we want to snuggle (hubby and I,not the dog you pervs), we have the entire bed to choose from, Holly just fits herself in whatever area is left. I also had friends and relatives over one weekend, we were watching a chick flick in the bed room and were able to fairly comfortably accomodate two adults, two 15 year olds, one 13, one 12 and one 10 year old AND the dogs. Go with the king, you deserve it.
September 15th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
King, all the way. You can fit two grown adults, one child, one flailing toddler and to full grown weimeriners (dogs) in this size bed comfortably.
September 15th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Queen = 60×80 King=76×80
Can you get a king mattress through your doors/halls?
The difference in price between the king and queen may be small compared to the difference in price in the BEDDING! Check out mattress pads, king sized pillows (or 3 standard pillows), pillow cases, sheets, blankets, comforters, quilts, dust ruffles, pillow shams, etc. Also, check the rise of the mattress and the height of the frame you are looking for. Bedding is getting much bigger (hence, more expensive). Sorry, I work in the bedding industry. I tend to overshare information.
Also, are you planning on relocating in the next decade or two? Are you prepared to buy a house based on the size of your bed? If so, enjoy!
Good luck!
September 15th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Me: 5′11″ My Dave: 6′4″ = King Size Heaven. We upgraded from a full… it made much more love, than the wars we were having over who took more space. King Size gives you freedom to be close or the option to feel like you have options.
I agree, bedsheets are pricey, but heck, after what you’ve described, you deserve it. And besides, how many bedsheets do you really need?
September 15th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
King! I’ve always wanted a king size bed for my very own (ok, I might share it *once* in awhile) and if I can’t have one…then you definitely should! Think of it this way - if you buy the Queen, you’ll always wonder what you’re missing out on…but if you buy the King, you’ll know you have it all!
September 15th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
We cheaped out and got a queen. And are living to regret it.
Divide the difference between the queen and the king over the years you’ll use the bed. It’s pretty teensy, right? Well worth it for the extra mattress real estate.
September 15th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
We have a queen sleep number bed in our guest room and it is horrible. Even if you think you like it in the matress store, after a few years, the sagging line down the middle just isn’t comfortable.
When I got married my husband had a king. He thought he had a cali. king, so…he bought a cali. king headboard and footboard. Ha! Wrong! That is why I now have a cali. king Tempur. We bought the firmer one (8 inches thick, I believe) and our next bed will be a softer (10 inch thick)Tempur. KING SIZE BAY-BEE!!! I have tried them all and now I can make an informed decision. We have a four year old and with him in the bed with us, a cali. just isn’t wide enough. I watched a movie with my MIL, SIL, and BIL (4 of us) all in a king bed and still didn’t feel too crowded.
Go with a king!!! You won’t regret it. I do regret our queen and even our cali. king.
September 15th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
KING!
I have a full and my becoming-significant other has a queen and I like the extra space that offers. BUT! If we were to throw in the 4 kids and 4 dogs, there would definitely need to be a king size space involved, no questions asked. Like so many others have said before me, I have faith that you will overcome the extra $$ the king sheets cost.
EveryDaySuperGoddess….HALF your life in bed?! As is 12 of every 24 hours? I’m jealous!
September 15th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Holy crap,there are WAY too many comments before mine to see if my point has already been taken, so.. if I’m a repeat, forgive me.
Buy a Queen. Not a King. Not only is a King more expensive NOW, but the sheets are crazy over priced, your king size comforter will probably be at least $50 more than a Queen, and you need to buy bigger pillows! And then, try to find extra pillow cases for those pillows! And, really, the comforter cover itself is going to be close to twice the price of a Queen cover! And the LAUNDRY! You probably won’t be able to wash both sheets and your pillow cases in one load! Unless you have a monster washer.
September 15th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
(I thought I had posted this response this morning, but it isn’t there so I’m reposting. so if you deleted it - sorry, you’ll have to delete this one too!)
I think you should buy what you want - a king. from what I read into your post, it sounds like you are looking for a good reason to spend the extra money on a king. you don’t need us to convince you, something as important and long lasting as a bed you should “splurge” and get what you really want. (also, God forbid you should get the wrong one and continue to wake up with an ass-cheek asleep.) Everyone else (with one or two exceptions) above thinks the same too.
We’ve been married 21 years and have always had a queen. There’s room enough for us to sleep w/o touching (the bed is big enough so it isn’t a constant cuddle), but she’s close enough for me to reach out and get a reassuring touch. We’ve slept in a king (in hotels) and it’s like we’re in separate beds. It was unsettling. A lot of people above talk about how much more comfortable a king is, but unless you roll around alot or like to sleep like a starfish I can’t understand how a king is more comfortable. The remaining king preferers talk about all of the room for family time or kids sleeping w/parents. We didn’t let the kids sleep with us (past baby years that is) as we wanted to establish early on that our room was private. Everone needs a place to get away to from time to time. This policy also gives the kids their private getaway too - important to rising teenagers and older. We also don’t do the weekend everyone pile into bed for a movie or nap thing. (no tv in the bedroom for the same getaway reason).
anyway, I said all of that ’cause I wanted to! you should get what you want and what suits your needs. I think a king would be the perfect bed for you.
September 15th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
Hi beautiful and smart Mir. I am humbled in your presence. I probably can’t come up with an original response, considering all the wisdom that was posted before I got here, but I’ll try, because, truly, I have been in your exact spot. When I got divorced, I went from sleeping in a FULL (can you believe it!!??), with a man I didn’t care to share with anymore, to a LUMPY old full, with one, and sometimes two, kids. It was grim, to say the least. So then, I thought I’d treat myself and buy a *new* bed. I thought a queen would be great, considering what I had been sleeping in, and at first, it was great, all roomy and comfy and I felt like I had died and gone to bed heaven. But after a while of sleeping with one or both growing kids, I have seen the error of my ways…KING is the only way to go. Splurge and get one, you know you want to. And really, even if you don’t regularly share it with an adult, your kids are going to continue growing, and they will take up more and more space when they get in your bed and….you see my drift? You NEED a King size bed. Just do it.
September 15th, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Well, I’m on the fence. The queen seemed like enough room, and that’s what all the sheets we owned were sized, and I liked my queen, and the sheets are cheaper in the store.
BUT
We bought a king in July, and I LOVE IT. I won’t tell my hubs that though. He had to bribe me to get me to OK the purchase. It’s comfy, there’s lots of room, we can cuddle, we can not touch, whatever. I will never go back.
September 15th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Find the biggest bed you can, and then ask the salesperson if it doesn’t come in a larger size. My bed is 2*1.8 metres = 7*6 feet, and I find that just barely large enough.
September 15th, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Go for the king. No one ever got more bed and thought, “Oh shucks, too much bed. All this room, alas and alack.”
When we bought our California King, we lay down and never ever looked back. Do think about a California King — I like the proportions better.
September 15th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
King, king, KING. And I say that because I have up to 5 dogs sleeping on the bed with me, 3 of those being boxers. When it comes to beds, always the more room, the better!
September 15th, 2006 at 6:13 pm
I read about 20 comments…I’m sorry if this is a repeat.
Lots of people comment about the expense for sheets, etc. for a king vs. queen and those aren’t true.
We have a very high quality queen from when we first co-habitated. I loved it and still love it. We had an offer for a free king set (used for one week by a friend before he found out he was moving to London) and snatched it up. I must say I love the size (since I sprawl and kick) but the quality was lower - the queen was just a better mattress (and my guests all love it now that it’s in the guest room!). Anyway, I watched sites like overstock and smartbargins for a good memory foam topper - I wanted 4 inches thick in King - something that goes for as much as $400 in a store like Bed Bath & Beyond. I got one using a discount code, with $1 shipping for $125 last year and it’s fantastic! Now I LOVE my King.
As for sheets, the sites above almost always charge one price for all sizes. In fact, I just bought 2 sets of 400 TC Egyptian Cotton sheets - a queen set for a shower gift and a king set for us - and they were priced the same - and under $50 for each set! Also, IKEA now carries a great line of king-sized pillows that are very well priced. Our comforter set came from one of the “designers” at Target and was had on clearance for less then $75.
Go for the King! Your comfort will increase and your long term cost won’t be higher.
September 15th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
What do you say you tape it out first. A little blue painters tape on the floor in the dimensions of the King. How much room do you have left in the room. Can you live with it? Then go ahead and get what you want!
September 15th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
when we had to make the decision, we decided bases on future purchases (ie: sheets, quilts, etc), and the fact that we were renting a house, and not sure how easy it would be to fit a king size bed into future houses.
With the exception of one house that would never have fit a king size bed near it, we’ve regretted it regularly. We currently sleep with a sidecar (crib with 1 side off) for the littlest, and if either of my older two wake up with a nightmare, they can’t sleep in the bed because it whacks my back out.
good luck finding a great deal on a king size! :)
September 15th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
I know you are a good shopper, but one of my pals is a mattress salesguy and here is my advice: DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY. He admits that most of what he says is BS made up on the spot according to what he thinks people want to hear.
Silk, wool, individually wrapped coils, independent coils - you do not hear these things. They mean nothing.
Lay down on it and if you like it, buy it. Forget the warranty - if you read that thing, it is so crazy as to be meaningless.
If you want a pillow top, buy a mattress without and buy a memory foam pad separately. It will be the first part to wear out, so if you get it separate, you can always replace it for $200 without having to buy a whole new mattress.
Good luck.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
I vote KING!!!! I will never never go back to less than a king!!! Besides some day you could be sleeping with a big bedpig and you will appreciate the extra space. When my hubby, who loves sleeping in the middle of the bed, crowds me—I can just get up and go to the other side!!!!
September 15th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
I liked that suggestion to tape off the size on the floor - you can make it like your own little crime scene. Personally, I say get the King. You know you can find awesome deals on sheets and comforters. Bonus suggestion: a microsuede comforter is practically indestructable and good for all seasons. Good luck with your quest.
September 15th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Queeeeeen. Definitely queen. Big enough for each of you to have room to sleep comfortably, but small enough to still feel close. I stayed at a hotel w/ a boyfriend once and we had a king and I hated it - I was just never close enough to him!
What I’m not seeing folks mention (and, let’s be honest, I read a lot of the comments but not ALL of them) is the “moving” factor. Moving a queen-sized bed is a pain in the rump because it’s big and unwieldy. But a King or Cali King? Forget it! You’re doomed to a life of hiring movers and/or getting the bed stuck in the curvy staircase or whatever.
Maybe I’m being histrionic; perhaps moving is not a problem for you and you’ll be living where you live forever after, amen! My point is, it’s something to think about.
Good luck. :)
September 15th, 2006 at 11:36 pm
We had a queen when we had only one kid, but upgraded to a king when #2 came. A queen was just too small for four of us, plus a dog (and sometimes the cat!) to cuddle in. I should say that it happens frequently that #2 comes into bed on my side and somehow in the morning he’s smack dab in the middle of the bed and hubby and I are crammed into a twin-sized area anyhow.
September 15th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Generally I would say go for the king if your room is big enough to handle it and not be all-bed. Though if it will irk you to spend lots more on comforters, sheets, etc forever then maybe not.
My husband and I sleep in a weird Euro-sized bed that is somewhere between a king and a queen. I know before we upsized I was feeling like the queen was too small if it was hot or someone wanted space. And now that our daughter sometimes comes in (2.5) I can’t imagine doing that with a queen.
Anyway, it sounds like you really want the king so go for that!
September 15th, 2006 at 11:58 pm
i would go with the king.
after i broke up with my ex he got given a king sized bed. which he slept in for two months before being evicted from his house and then i offered to ’store’ it for him because i was living in a house with a bedroom i could land a plane in.
i’m five foot nothing and there is only one (and a half) of me and i do not NEED a king bed but there is something really cool about sleeping on something the size of a football field (and with this bed, the height of a small building).
i offered to buy it off him multiple times (which is a pretty good deal seeings as he wasnt using it and it was FREE) but he declined and actually i am happy i didnt buy it because i then moved into a house with a tiny master bedroom and had i bought the damn king bed, i wouldnt have been able to walk around the room at all.
err so, yeah, king. but a queen isnt bad. you know?
September 16th, 2006 at 12:28 am
I’m puzzled, why does one NEED king-size pillows? We use std’s on our king size bed and it works out just fine.
Then again, we are hopelessly decorating-challenged.
I KNOW this is a total splurge…but we got the adjustable bases with our new Tempurpedic mattress. Hubs has a bum hip, and the combination of supportive foam and being able to raise the foot of the bed to support the weight of his legs off his hips has really helped. It is really heavenly, if ridiculously extravagant. But you only live once!
So…whatever you decide, go lay down on all the beds you might be interested in. And make sure you buy from a 30-day sleep trial place. So if the dreamy rest you thought you would get doesn’t materialize, you can try something else.
Happy shopping!
September 16th, 2006 at 12:32 am
King. The bed is not the place to go cheap.
You will love it. For twenty years. And thank us all, I hope.
September 16th, 2006 at 9:58 am
Ummmmm….I’m just sitting here slack-jawed at the number of comments this post has! Who knew?!! Apparently politics, religion AND mattress size are the things that you shouldn’t bring up in polite company because everyone has an opinion. Well, everyone but me. I’m just happy to sleep all night without interruption these days.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:47 am
Twin, and put the money in to plane tickets.
September 16th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Wow, this brought out a lot of comments!
I agree with Otto. :-)
Honestly though, go for the King. You don’t really need a king per se, but honestly… it’s so dang luxurious! Throw a featherbed on it, and you’ll never want to leave.
But honestly, listen to your adorable Otto, and buy a twin, putting the remainder of the money towards plane tickets.
September 16th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Okay, now that Otto’s already read, maybe he won’t come back…
I think this is *secretly* really a relationship question! You actually do need a bed now…but which kind? Totally relationship dependent - in part. But should it be? Should a gal just do what she needs to do? Or should she be practical and take into account the bed accoutrements of a future spouse? Or is that pressure too early on a nascent commitment?
It’s just bad relationship - bed purchase timing.
Which wouldn’t matter AT ALL if you weren’t so practical! Then you could buy whatever now, and buy whatever again later.
September 16th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said. But I *love* our king.
September 16th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Queen, definitely. Big enough but not so big that you feel tired after MAKING the bed. Plus, it’s easier to find/afford sheets.
Don’t skimp on the quality though, and put the price difference between king and queen into some jillion-thread-count sheets. I may never buy regular sheets again.
September 16th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Go king. You are worth it. It is nice to be able to choose whether or not you want to be touching the people in bed with you. If there is room in your bedroom for it, go for it.
Once you go king, though, there is no going back.
September 16th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
King
I recommend a Select Comfort Sleep Number bed.
http://www.selectcomfort.com/index.cfm
It was my first big splurge in the furniture department. Best Cho