Many important things happened this weekend, but I’ve got to watch TV right now or, um, I would be less pathetic. And we don’t want THAT to happen.
Although, I did go out on Saturday night amongst grown-ups to a comedy show. That was almost like being a social person. And the last comedian actually improvised (hilariously) for over twenty minutes on some random audience member’s wallet. And I was very pleased we weren’t sitting right in front.
I believe someone previously recommended to me “those thingies that dissolve in the shower and create vapor” when I had a cold. They just ran a commercial for them–Sudacare Shower Soothers. They look like urinal cakes; which, I suppose, may indeed scare the snot right out of you. However, I think I’ll pass.
Anyway! On to the big news!
First big news: Can’t tell. Sorry! Not my big news to tell. But there is big exciting news afoot and I’m tickled. Sometimes wonderful people get what they deserve, and it makes my heart happy.
Second big news: Chickadee discovered that a classmate was doing chickadees for the Big Bird Project. She insisted on finding a bird that no one else was already doing. So. Stay tuned for the Big Kiwi Project. As far as I can tell, she picked the kiwi purely on the basis of its being known for having smelly, badger-like poop.
Third big news: A scintillating haircolor update! Hold on to your seats!
Did you know that there are ways to fix haircolor gone bad? It’s true. Of course, the most effective ways involve, you know, going to your hairdresser and admitting your stupidity. But I have neither the money nor the humility to do such a thing, so that’s out.
Oh, but first a slight digression. I figured out what went wrong! Well, other than the fact that I probably picked a color that was too dark. Anyway, here’s my revelation (after all of the research I did this weekend): Color takes more readily to the ends of hair. Every time I’ve dyed my hair, previously, I had long hair. Ratio of ends to the rest of hair, small. Now I have short hair. Ratio of ends to the rest of hair, LARGE. In fact, my hair is pretty much all ends at this point. So. My entire head is covered with dye-sucking ends. Moving on.
So, if you–like me–have dyed your hair too dark, by accident? Here are some things you might want to try.
* Wash your hair with an abrasive shampoo, like Prell, or any other “clarifying” formula. Or if you want to pull out the big guns, dishwashing liquid.
* Mix some baking soda into your shampoo.
* For brunettes (I dunno what happens if you do this on blonde… maybe your head explodes)–steep a pot of chamomile tea and use it to rinse clean, conditioned hair. Then go into the sun or use your hairdryer. Oh, and make sure the tea has cooled, otherwise you and your bad dye job will probably have to go to the ER.
* Olive oil can lighten hair, and it makes a pretty good hot oil treatment, too.
I won’t bore you with a detailed description of what I tried or how many times I tried it. Suffice it to say that I had a very busy afternoon, and now feel quite fresh but have an insatiable craving for Earl Grey and breadsticks. Hmm.
Anyway! Thank goodness for all my new-found knowledge and hard work. Yesterday, my hair was BLACK. Today, my hair is NEARLY BROWN. I mean, yes, it’s still sort of black, but in a way that is much closer to brown. Really, the follicles are reminiscing with one another. Yesterday there was total amnesia. Brown? I was never brown. What do you mean, brown? Today they’re all wistful with each other… remember when we were brown? Oh YEAH, that was great… seems like just yesterday…. Etc.
So, um, yeah. Grease was on TV earlier while I was folding laundry, and I found myself belting out “Beauty School Dropout.” Just a coincidence, I’m sure.
I wonder if I have any croutons.