by Mir | Sep 22, 2004 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony
Ways to not impress me with your supposed illness: talk non-stop in a low, gravelly voice to demonstrate how ill you are; devour the contents of your lunch bag and ask for more; ask to go outside to play; complain about staying inside; complain about not getting to...
by Mir | Sep 22, 2004 | My name is Grumplestiltskin
This day is shaping up just swimmingly, lemme tell ya. It’s 11:15 and I haven’t even had a shower yet. It’s that kind of day. I woke up with a sore throat. No biggie. Just the start of a cold, most likely. But it didn’t put me in the most...
by Mir | Sep 21, 2004 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony
Perhaps I’ll just theme today “Perplexing Conversations I Have With My Offspring.” Me: So how was school today? Her: Undefectable. Me: What? Her: Undefectable. Me: C’mon, honey. What did you do today? Her: Un. De. Fect. Able! Me: Ummmm. Okay....
by Mir | Sep 21, 2004 | Detritus
You’d better be at the polls, my friends. (If you’d like to skip that, the only acceptable alternative is giving me large sums of money, you know.) Just a friendly little Public Service Announcement, courtesy of my favorite civic-minded hussy: The U.S....
by Mir | Sep 21, 2004 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony
My son is all about repetition. But as he gets older, his needs become more complicated, as do the scenarios he invents. A year ago, we started thusly: Him: Mama, say “I wish I had a little boy.” Me: I wish I had a little boy. Him: Wah! Wah! Wah! Me: Oh,...
