St. Martyr of Stabby

by Mir on September 15, 2011 in My name is Grumplestiltskin, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

There is a list of things I carry around in my head, and I may not refer to it or think of it all that often, but it is labeled, “Things I Will Never Do As A Parent Because It Bugged The Everlovin’ CRAP Out Of Me When My Parents Did It.” (Sorry, Mom and Dad.)

I don’t think this is unusual. Most parents I know have a similar list. Its biggest hallmark, of course, is that half of the items on the list are things we’ve already done, because HELLO, a lot of the stuff we hated as kids we perpetuate as parents because it’s actually the stuff that makes sense, no matter how irritating it is to be on the receiving end. Growing up and becoming the Responsible Person In Charge has a way of obliterating certain assumptions, it turns out.

Still. There’s a list. With things on it. Things I really don’t want to do because I know they are the fast track to Sucksville, both for my kids and for me as a parent. And that is why I have spent the bulk of today biting my tongue. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 40 }

I spy

by Mir on September 14, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

One of the things we were asked, upon enrolling Monkey at Hippie School, was if we would be willing to come in do little presentations to the group on our work. I assume this is a standard question, but because Otto and I are super fantastic (and, okay, FINE, because he’s a photographer and I’m a writer and the school starts production of their newspaper first thing), we were slated for the first two guest spots.

Otto went in last week, and when Monkey and Mario tumbled into the house that afternoon, I asked them how they enjoyed his talk. Both boys immediately fell to making chimp noises and pantomiming chimping, so I was able to conclude that they’d paid at least a little attention. When Otto got home, later, I asked him how it went and he said it was fine. “Some of the kids kind of wandered off, but it was okay,” he said.

I was a little nervous, headed in today, but I figured at the very least, the half hour between our arrival and when I was actually slated to talk would be an interesting peek into Monkey’s day. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 27 }

Elsewhere, as here is barely working

by Mir on September 13, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Job? Huh?

My site issues continue apace, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Apparently there are people who just sit around attacking web servers for… fun? And my hosting provider says I’ve now been under attack for about a week, and they’re doing their best, and mostly I want to call up the people responsible and ask them if maybe they’ve ever tried Qwirkle or Scrabble or occasionally having sex? Because I think they might find it more entertaining and less likely to make people want to kill them.

Anyway. While I wasn’t here (or, more accurately, HERE wasn’t here…), I was other places. Like, for the next few weeks I’ll be over at CafeMom writing about dinnertime. Luscious recipes! Family togetherness! Well, no. Not really. Mostly just fart jokes. Sorry. Come on over and check it out, though. (I mean, how could you not, with that intro?)

And of course, today’s Tuesday, so I’m over at Off Our Chests, discussing stuff. No, really, actual stuff, and the saving of it (or not).

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 1 }

It’s tough, being the only grownup

by Mir on September 12, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Ottomatic For the People

When you think about it, Otto’s got a pretty tough row to hoe when it comes to our family. Despite my efforts, sometimes I’m sure it just can’t help but feel like three against one. The kids and I were a unit for a long time before Otto joined us, and no matter how much they all love each other (“Awww, honey, if she’s being an insufferable brat to you that means she’s BONDED!”), the fact remains that sometimes I’m sure he still feels a little bit picked on.

Of course, this might just be because the kids and I are jerks, and not have anything to do with our blended family status. It’s hard to know, really.

This is a necessary preface so that you understand what happened last night at dinner. Actually, I guess there’s one more piece I have to explain. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 35 }

My dog doesn’t care what day it is

by Mir on September 11, 2011 in Oh look! Something furry!!

I think the various tributes and remembrances and “never forget”s and such that are all over the ‘net today are good and important and needed, but I just can’t. Call me a delicate flower, call me cold or shallow or whatever, some things are too hard for me. And this is one of them. I’m calling it knowing my limitations.

Over the last few days, my good and loyal hosting provider—truly the very best hosting service I’ve ever had—has been working literally around the clock to deal with various DNS attacks that keep bringing my servers down. Which means every time I think to go post something, my sites aren’t working. Now they are, and all you’re getting is a story about my dog.

But if you’re like me, maybe that’s what you need, today. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 20 }

And it’s not even noon

by Mir on September 7, 2011 in Oh look! Something furry!!, What do I do all day?

I had high hopes for today being a super-productive day, on account of I scheduled a grooming appointment for Licorice this morning, which meant I had to be up and showered and dressed much earlier than usual.

I know the joke about freelancers working from home in their pajamas is tired and overdone, but if I don’t have somewhere to be, chances are excellent that I won’t shower until lunchtime. And even then, I’m likely to lose an hour or more to “I should totally go shower. But I’m hungry. Maybe I’ll just fix myself a salad and catch up on email while I eat. Okay, I’m done eating, but oh my gosh, I spent a lot longer on that than I should’ve. I should get some more work done before I shower.”

And this is how any day where I shower before lunch feels like a productive one.

So today, when I’m made breakfasts, packed lunches, showered, dressed, and had my coffee all by 7:30, I was feeling pretty snazzy. Which is never a good sign. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 22 }

Cue Gloria Gaynor

by Mir on September 6, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It’s Tuesday, so that means I’m over at Off Our Chests. Today I’m talking about surviving, though—as usual—it’s not the serious things that get me thinking, but the kind of ridiculous ones. You’ll see.

Come on over. (Spoiler: I wasn’t any more graceful as a little kid than I am now.)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 1 }

Things which confuse me

by Mir on September 5, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It’s true that I’m easily confused; I’m not saying that I feel like I’m butting up against the great mysteries of our time, or anything. But even accounting for the ways in which I, personally, might be somewhat cognitively impaired, I’m left with many, many questions. It occurs to me sometimes that Monkey’s rigid “But this is what makes SENSE and you, sir, are NOT MAKING SENSE!” moments may be a case of, shall we say, an apple that has fallen rather close to the tree, if you get my drift.

[Not that I'm saying that I think I'm autistic. I'm not. NOT THAT THERE WOULD BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Oh, God. I'm going to stop talking, now. About this, anyway.]

Look, all I’m saying is that—all other things being equal (or at least as equal as I can manage)—I’m left with some questions, is all. Not enough to keep me up at night, you understand, but enough to kind of nag at me. That’s all. Because it’s confusing. I think. Hey, you be the judge. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 45 }

Five good things on Friday

by Mir on September 2, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

1) Two days into the NEW Toxic Med That May Or May Not Clear Up The Rash, Chickadee is feeling fine. It remains to be seen if it does anything for her rash, but after the last med pretty much made her want to die, this is progress.

2) The new med causes birth defects, so “standard protocol” is that you have to go on record with the “two redundant forms of birth control” the patient will be using for the duration of treatment. While the jokes this has spawned are ongoing (she’s 13! she still thinks boys are icky!), I still think Otto wins for his suggestion of “fear and loathing” as her two chosen methods.

3) I gave a fun talk at the University last night. My slide deck featured a picture of Licorice. I popped it up and half the room went, “Awwww!” and that made the entire thing worth it to me. (MAH BAYBEE!) (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 29 }

Forward

by Mir on August 31, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

So after one glorious week of “SCHOOL IS AWESOME!” and “THIS IS THE GREATEST SCHOOL EVER!” I had finally begun to unclench, a little.

Turns out that the honeymoon ended this week, though. On Monday, Monkey came home a little less excited than the previous week, and suddenly he was listing various transgressions he felt had been committed against him, and noting that “some of these kids really seem to have some problems,” which, you know, Pot, is terribly interesting about Kettle and all, but….

And then yesterday I got a phone call. As soon as I realized it was school, I’m pretty sure every muscle in my body just seized.

“We are only calling because Monkey really wanted to, and I hope that’s okay,” the voice on the other end of the line told me, as I could hear Monkey sputtering with rage in the background. (more…)

  • email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Kirtsy
  • StumbleUpon
Comments { 46 }
« Newer Entries
Older Entries »
Design by LEAP