I totally want a second dog now

by Mir on December 21, 2011 in Oh look! Something furry!!, What do I do all day?

So the first day we were here, Zoey peed ALL THE TIME. Talk to her nicely? Pee. Speak to her sternly? Pee. Ignore her? PEE! And along with the incessant piddling, we had her leaping atop Licorice at every possible opportunity, and Licorice spending a lot of time making adorable little cranky-snarly sounds to try to tell Zoey to back off.

The second day, I guess my dad found a little cork and Zoey stopped peeing everywhere. She only spent half the day pouncing all over Licorice, and much time was spent with both dogs lazing in front of the stove, roasting their tender underbellies. Eventually there was some running around and bouncing of balls and the dogs were VERY NEARLY playing together, and then Licorice apparently tried to kill Zoey’s Most Favoritist Toy—a very flat raccoon—and ZOEY snarled at LICORICE. Most surprising. And hilarious.

This morning, Zoey was put outside while Licorice at her breakfast. And then Licorice went and laid down by the door to wait for Zoey to come back in. I suspect we’ve reached a truce. So I made Otto get out the camera. (more…)

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Comments { 23 }

I can’t get it out of my head

by Mir on December 20, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Honestly, I feel like that one single viewing of “The Virgin Diaries” has scarred me forever. I cannot get the awkward images out of my head. I just feel so sorry for those people.

So what do I do when I can’t stop thinking about something? I write about it some more! But don’t worry—fewer cringe-worthy moments in my Off Our Chest post, as today I’m really just thinking about first kisses, and I promise that my first kiss was WAY less horrifying than the one they showed on TLC.

Come on over and join the discussion, won’t you?

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One big (leaky) party

by Mir on December 19, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Oh look! Something furry!!

So the kids went off on their adventure and then Otto and I loaded up the car while Licorice nervously paced my office. By the time we scooped up Her Furriness to put her in the travel crate, she was so relieved to not be left behind that she seemed to totally forget that she hates riding in the car.

We drove and drove and drove and drove, and we listened to a lot of “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me” and ate a lot of snacks, and when we pulled up at my folks’ house the next day, Licorice was all, “I LOVE ROAD TRIPS!” I am certain this had nothing to do with the potato chips I kept poking into the crate, by the way.

In truth, the drive was pleasant, if somewhat repetitive (where are we? still in Virginia? STILL??), though it was a relief to finally arrive and stop moving.

But, uh, did I mention that my parents got a new puppy? (more…)

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Comments { 18 }

Guess who is my favorite right now?

by Mir on December 17, 2011 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!

Without compromising the privacy of the underlings in my household, I can tell you that the three little ones ’round here have VERY different reactions to impending travel.

It’s funny, really, to watch them all exhibit such different behavior. An interesting anthropological study, you might say. Because there’s that whole nature/nurture thing, plus two of the three share DNA, yet they could not be more striking in the various reactions they have.

And I, of course, just have to deal with it all. With a smile. When I can manage it. So, yes: The kids head off for vacation with their dad, today, and here is what my morning wrought: (more…)

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Comments { 30 }

It’s… educational!

by Mir on December 15, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, I'm dating the television, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

You guys. I… I can’t even. Because words fail.

A couple of weeks ago someone posted this on Facebook, and I watched it with a mix of horror and delight. Because LOOK:

And I made Otto watch it, too. And Otto said, “No. YOU ARE NOT WATCHING THAT WHEN IT COMES ON TV.” And I argued, and he kept saying no, and then last night I was channel-surfing and it was on and he was upstairs, so I watched it. With Chickadee. (more…)

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Comments { 56 }

My many first-world problems

by Mir on December 14, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, What do I do all day?

Sometimes I sit down to write something and I feel like such a colossal douche I consider just skipping the blog entry and ridiculing myself internally, instead. But then I realize that’s no fun at all, and I share it all with you.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Here at Casa Mir I am fraught with THE BUSY, because time is running out, school vacation and The Big Trek North are almost upon us, and there are a million things I have not done, cannot do, must accomplish, blah blah blahbbity blahhhhhh and all of it is unimportant, I mean mostly, and yet it’s eating up my head space. I’m forever exhorting my children to USE ALL THAT BRAIN POWER FOR GOOD RATHER THAN EVIL, and perhaps I should take my own advice. Except in my case I should probably use that brain power for the betterment of humanity instead of for middle-class minutiae. And I will. As soon as I take care of this other stuff. (more…)

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Comments { 29 }

I live to share my embarrassments

by Mir on December 13, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

As if blogging my day-to-day maladjustedness isn’t enough (huh, my spellcheck is insisting that’s not a world, but spellcheck, I can assure you that I am living proof that it CERTAINLY IS), I really have to give a big ol’ shout-out to Off Our Chests for giving me the weekly opportunity to dredge up the many embarrassments from my past, as well.

Because, really, what’s the point of being a completely mortified dork time and time again unless you can share it with the whole Internet? Exactly!

So my offering today is all about how I once ended up unintentionally flashing my entire class. Because of course I did. Come on over and cringe with me, I don’t mind.

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Comments { 5 }

You’ll shoot your eye out, kid (or not)

by Mir on December 12, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Monkey went to a birthday party this weekend. Now, on the one hand: Monkey went to a birthday party this weekend. In fact, Monkey has received no less than four birthday party invitations since beginning his time at Hippie School, and if you’re a longtime reader I probably don’t have to spell this out (but I will, anyway, because saying it out loud makes me marvel all over again), but four birthday party invitations is… oh… roughly FOUR MORE than he received in the previous couple of years combined.

Hippie School is terribly tolerant and inclusive, and I love and cherish that so much, even if it means we get an invitation to a 5-year-old’s party and Monkey’s response is “Why would I want to go to THAT?” (Answer: Because you’re all one big happy family now, DAMMIT.) Of course, this opens up a whole new avenue for us, because now instead of him always being left out we actually have to PICK and CHOOSE from the MANY party opportunities. Which is weird. And wonderful.

Parties can be a little overwhelming for him, so we’ve turned down several invitations. But this weekend was Luigi’s party, so off we went. (more…)

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Comments { 30 }

Actually, right now it’s delighted

by Mir on December 10, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Woohoo!

So remember how I was all “Grrrrr, people make me mad and we need more girl power in the world!” and so I was going to go audition for The Vagina Monologues basically because my daughter asked me to? And then I didn’t say anything else about it and several of you emailed me and were all “Oh hey, whatever happened with that?” And I sort of did the email equivalent of “Hmmm, yeah, I dunno, OH LOOK, SOMETHING SHINY!” and didn’t really tell you?

I was waiting, see.

The audition itself was quite brief—surprisingly so, I thought—and I was left wondering if I was so awful they cut me off to save themselves or if I was so awesome that they decided to cast me on the spot and no further reading was necessary. (I have NO IDEA where my son gets that whole black/white assessment of the world from. Curious.) I went away and agonized for a few days, then later got a general “welcome to the cast, more info to follow” email.

More info arrived this evening. I read for the Angry Vagina monologue and that’s what I got! Apparently I am totally believable as cranky genitalia. I choose to take this as a compliment.

[Related: HOLY SHIT I haven't acted in two decades and I thought a good way to reacquaint myself with the stage would be to get up in front of a bunch of people and bitch about tampons and pap smears?! Of course I did.]

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Comments { 71 }

The 27 Days of Sockmas

by Mir on December 9, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

December is, traditionally, the month of the year wherein I am most likely to wish to die in a fire. It’s not that I don’t love the holiday fa la la la blah blah or whatever, it’s that:
1) Work is crazy. (See also: the glamorous life of a freelancer, no such thing as paid vacation.)
2) The children are crazy. (Monkey is crazy because everyone else is crazy; Chickadee is crazy because traditional public schooling mandates that December is a DANDY time to assign projects in every single class, plus have finals, plus do standardized testing, plus start doing competitions for several activities in which she’s involved.)
3) Travel makes me crazy, and the only thing that makes me crazier than traveling is PLANNING for travel, and December is the hallowed month of WHEN WILL YOU BE HERE FOR HOW LONG LET’S PLAN EVERYTHING and as much as I love each and every person who wants to see us, really, I do, I would also rather punch myself in the face repeatedly than try to figure this out every damn year.
and
4) It’s possible I’m just crazy anyway. MAYBE. I admit to nothing. Other than December bringing out my special brand of… me-ness. (more…)

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Comments { 34 }
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