… that that STOOPID parenting CD I had to listen to may have actually had a couple of good ideas.
New post over at Alphamom, about getting teens to cooperate. (Now that I’ve written it, of course, everything is going to blow up in my face. That’s how it works!)
“I’ll take Mir and Otto’s Adventures in Home Ownership for $200, Alex.”
“And the answer is: No.”
“I’m… sorry? That’s the whole answer?”
“Yes. The answer is No.”
“Okay. Um… what is Can we ever do a single, simple project around here without it turning into a complete clusterfuck?”
“Correct! On the board!”
“Yeah, screw you, Alex. Screw you AND your stupid board.”
So, um, I’ve decided to believe that the universe decided I really needed a distraction right about now. It’s a gift, really. The gift of dumbfuckery, right here in our yard. WE ARE SO LUCKY, because trust me, it’s been a distraction. Yay? (more…)
So, uh, this week has kind of sucked. [Sidebar: Thank you for the kind words and thoughts and emails after that last post. I consider myself very lucky to have so many kind folks out there in the Intertubes giving a damn about us, and on low days like that one, it helps more than you know.] When things sucks, I like to go full hermit. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to do anything but curl up and maybe talk to Otto a little bit and hug my kids. That’s just how I am.
Lucky for me, my dance card usually isn’t full, so if I hit a time like this when I want to hide, it’s not hard to do. (Hooray for maladaptive coping!) But this week as things started crashing down around me, I looked at my calendar and realized that one of my oldest friends was coming to town. And my first inclination, quite honestly, was to call her up and cancel. Because STUFF, man, and THINGS and HARD and WAHWAH and I am an iiiiiiiiiislaaaaaaand!
Last year, I probably would’ve canceled. I would’ve apologized, profusely, and I would’ve felt like a shitty friend, and I would’ve gone back to hiding (now with extra self-flagellation) and that would’ve been it. But I have GROWN AS A PERSON (haaaaaa) and so I didn’t cancel. (more…)
I listened to a parenting seminar on CD this morning. My daughter’s therapist gave it to me, and the looong preface that came with this particular loan rivaled even my wordiest attempts to clarify my experience. It was not a criticism, she said. She just really likes this particular guy and his theories and she thinks I might find some of what he has to say helpful. Maybe not. But worth a shot, yes? And she is worried that my current model of being is “not sustainable.”
That part made me laugh, actually. As if I am not aware that my current model of being is not sustainable. People who are drowning don’t think that they’re swimming and suddenly the whole dying thing is a surprise.
Among other things, ample time was given in this presentation to that whole “put on your own oxygen mask” metaphor, and lord knows I have tried to get with this program in the past, but mostly it makes me want to punch people, because when you’re at the point where people make worried eyebrows and start talking about oxygen masks, there are no cheerful yellow masks falling from the ceiling to save you. (more…)
This week seems determined to flatten me and suck out my will to live, and it’s only Tuesday. This does not bode well, I’m thinking.
While I go try to find my mojo (have you seen it? I think I dropped it somewhere yesterday), feel free to head on over to Alphamom to read all about how we carnivores found mealtime happiness with the rogue vegetarian in the house. Not gonna lie; it helps that said vegetarian is very cute.
Otto and I were having some quality time on the couch last night, by which I mean that we were each sitting there on our respective laptops while half web-surfing and half watching the new because WOW, the news last night, yeesh. Typical Friday night, in other words. (Uh, except for the fugitive in a boat part. That was not typical, just the part where we were on the couch. Obviously.)
ANYWAY.
I don’t remember when I was doing online. Probably I was on Facebook; more specifically, probably I was on Facebook playing Scrabble. (According to Monkey, that’s all I ever do, you know.) But Otto, he was on a mission.
See, years of my influence have corrupted Otto, and the man who used to be able to say, “I want/need Item X, therefore I will go buy Item X,” and then simply make a purchase, can no longer do that. No, thanks to me, now half the time he agonizes over whether or not he REALLY needs Item X, and then even if he decides he DOES, he then comparison shops for it online for hours or days or weeks before purchase. I AM SO PROUD. Anyway, that’s what Otto was doing. He was shopping for… something. (more…)
I sent you daily affirmations for a while, while you were too far away and dealing with too much, and it was the best way I knew to keep beating out “I love you, I love you” on my heart drum so that you could hear it. You complained, once home again, that I’d stopped doing it. I guess the daily stuff fades into the background, not quite as loud, easy to ignore and easier still to forget where it comes from and what it means.
Part of me is grateful for the forgetting. Last year on your birthday all I wanted was for us to forget, all of us. Especially you, my delicate, emotional sponge. You soaked up everything, got wrung out, soaked up more, and you frayed at the edges a little more each time. As hard as it is to watch, I know it’s harder to live.
Today’s affirmation (1): On your 15th birthday, you are still here, and you are stronger than you knew. (more…)
Back before it became clear that we were all supposed to spend this week pondering the fragility of life and/or the enigma that is the human brain (with its capacity for both great evil and kindness), I wrote some other stuff. I’ll grant you that it doesn’t seem quite so important right now, but it’s what I’ve got. (Other things I’ve got: a sick kid, an almost-birthday-kid whose only request is a flourless chocolate cake, no groceries or ingredients for said cake unless I get off my ass and out of my pajamas, seven OMGSOITCHY fire ant bites, and several real-life pseudo-crises I wasn’t planning on having this week which are demanding my attention. Considering the options, a couple of other posts seemed like the nicest thing I could give you.)
So!
Did you know that Friday is the 2013 Day of Silence? Your favorite teen may clam up for the day, and on BlogHer I’m telling you why.
Although I don’t expect it to strike quite as many chords as my first post (you people have strong opinions about marching band!), this week on Alphamom I’m suggesting low-tech solutions for teens managing anxiety. (Psssst! They work for adults, too.)
Ah, glorious springtime! The birds are chirping! The lizards are leaping! The pollen is… pollening. Yes.
Like any other red-blooded American family, this time of year means that we are committed to cleaning and repairing various facets of our dwelling, because everyone knows that warmer weather + tax return = copious swearing from someone on a ladder. That’s just how it works.
I feel like every time we set out to do “a little project” it turns into our own special brand of “there’s a hole in the bucket.” (Why yes, I’ve noted this before, because it’s been happening for years.) This has a three-pronged effect of making me insane, because 1) the MONEY part of it makes me panicked and neurotic no matter how much mental preparation I’ve done and even if all the necessary money was set aside beforehand, 2) the TIME aspect just adds to the fun as I become convinced that life will never be normal again, and 3) the MESS is just the final, OCD cherry on the losing-my-marbles sundae.
Perhaps Otto and I need to have our own home improvement show. He can be all calm and capable and get stuff done while I run around pointing at holes in the wall and crying. (more…)
Is this really necessary??
I am so peeing in your bed as soon as I get out of here.
Not kidding. NOT SORRY.
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