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Little big victories, sugar, and hope

by Mir on February 14, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!, Ottomatic For the People

Haaaaaaaaappy Valentine’s Day! I hope that today brings you whatever form of either commercially-sanctioned or rail-against-the-MAN celebration you desire. I know that some women tell their significant others, “No, really, I don’t need to celebrate, we don’t need to do anything, honey,” and then they would go sulk when their words were heeded and the day was, indeed, nothing special.

Me, we’re closing in on four years of marriage, and it is still 100% true that I am grateful for Otto every single day. I mean, sure, I guess I could demand/expect flowers or chocolate on this particular day, but it would pale in comparison to, say, how he has never once strangled either of my children, despite what I’m sure has been the overwhelming and natural urge to do so at approximately five hundred different times since we wed. THAT is love, people.

Also, he spent most of Saturday tromping around our local outlet mall with me, which is way better than chocolate. And once you figure that we spent most of that time holding hands, well, that’s kind of the Mir version of a super-romantic day right there. (more…)

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Sometimes love doesn’t come easy

by Mir on February 3, 2011 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People

Otto doesn’t like it when I brag about him. I love him dearly, but on this he can suck it up because I don’t think I’m ever going to stop being amazed at how he just never, ever phones it in with these kids of mine. And I am here to tell you that—while also beautiful, talented, funny, and amazing—my kids can be GIGANTIC pains in the butt. No one would BLAME Otto for occasionally throwing his hands in the air and walking away, is my point.

Chickadee is at a magical age. One minute she is hilarious and loving and perfect and the next… uhhhh… somewhat less so. (AHEM.) (“Mom, why do all of my teachers keep saying I would make a good lawyer?” Gosh, I have no idea!) Remember when your precious snookums was two and it was a constant barrage of “ME DO IT MYSELF!”? The teenage years, it turns out, are VERY SIMILAR. Except that instead of “ME DO IT MYSELF!” it’s “YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!” or “JUST A MINUTE!”

(Let’s save discussion of the irony of “YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!” as the battle cry of the child who is EXPRESSLY DISOBEYING for another day. Preferably one when I am very, very inebriated.) (more…)

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No alcohol necessary

by Mir on January 12, 2011 in I'm dating the television, Ottomatic For the People

We have reached the part of our program—school is closed for the third day in a row, and we are more or less housebound, and the children are crabby and everybody is sick of everybody else—where I am back to my standard coping mechanisms. This means that by the time the kids go to bed at night, I am basically non-verbal and can only handle a bare minimum of human interaction, provided it occurs during the commercial breaks (or fast-forwarding through the recorded commercials) of mindless shows on the television.

In other words: The kids go to bed, I go to the couch. I grunt or mutter in response to whatever Otto says to me, but mostly, the extent of what I can process or react to ends with pointed snickering during CSI: Miami.

I tend to think of this evening couch time as deeply therapeutic. After all, I’m curled up with the dog, I often have a square of good chocolate, I’m decompressing from the day because who can think about anything important while partaking in what passes for entertainment in this country? Sure, I’m probably not very good company, but it beats the evenings when we decide to talk and I just cry all over Otto for an hour or two. (more…)

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A fitting end to the week

by Mir on December 31, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Ottomatic For the People

The kids are coming home today, so yesterday Otto and I tried to cram in everything we might want to do before they’re back. The day ended with a trip to The High to see the Dali exhibit, and it was blissfully free of “this is boring”s, “what’s with his moustache”s, and “he’s touching me”s.

At one point, we overheard this:
Her: So you’re a writer?
Him: Yeah, that’s right. I’m a writer.
Her: So what sorts of things do you write?
Him: Well… right now I have a book in editing.
Her: Really? What’s it about?
Him: Oh… you know… just… fiction.
Her: Fiction, huh?
Him: Yep, fiction.
Her: So could you be more vague? About your book about… fiction?
Him: I don’t know, probably.
(They laughed, but I couldn’t help feeling like the woman wasn’t all that amused.) (more…)

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Surprise!

by Mir on December 4, 2010 in Ottomatic For the People

So yesterday I ran around doing various pre-party prep things, and then I made Otto come home early so he could be here when Monkey got off the bus, because I had a therapy appointment go talk about MAH FEEEEEEEELINGS.

“We really need dog food,” I told him, before I left. “Do you think I could just run over to the pet store after, and get that? I mean, assuming I don’t spend the entire hour weeping?”

Otto looked a little bit alarmed at this. I assured him that I don’t ALWAYS spend the hour weeping. He relaxed a little and told me to take my time, but I reminded him that I am Bad At Directions (yes, even with my GPS) and that I wasn’t sure how to get to the pet store from my doctor’s office. He explained it to me and I sort of understand and said fine, I will go to my appointment and then go grab some kibble and be home.

I kissed him goodbye and I left. (more…)

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Comments { 52 }

Party hearty

by Mir on December 3, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Ottomatic For the People

I am not a Party Person. I mean, I am perfectly happy to come to YOUR party, particularly if you have food. I am just not a party planner sort of person. Or a party-having sort of person. It was not something my family did, growing up, and something I’m still not entirely comfortable with.

[Digression: The easiest way to make people think you probably led an abused childhood, chained to a bare metal bedframe in the basement, is to tell them that you've never had a birthday party. I do not recommend this course of action while actually AT a party, because that many people staring at you with a mixture of disbelief and abject pity can make it difficult to enjoy your little plate of fine cheeses.]

Otto’s parents entertained all the time. Otto had birthday parties. Otto LOVES throwing parties, even if they occasionally involve inadvertently setting things on fire. Generally when we have a party, I tell Otto it’s “all him” and I do the bare minimum of participation in prep aside from cooking.

But tomorrow Otto is turning 40 and it seems like even I can’t quite bring myself to make him throw his own party. So I am Preparing To Party Hearty. (more…)

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Anne Frank is turning in her grave

by Mir on November 27, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People

Monkey is doing a Big Project on the Holocaust for school. He’s been “working on it in class” which means, of course, that this weekend we’ve discovered he’s done… next to nothing. Monkey is many fine and wonderful things, but one of his dubious “talents” is the ability to appear extremely productive when, in fact, he is simply working on spitball origami or dreaming up the five hundred latest characters in the pseudo-Pokemon world of his own creation.

Needless to say, we’ve been a bit busy with other concerns about Monkey, so I’ll be the first to admit we haven’t been as on top of his schoolwork as we probably should. When we got his last report card—the one with perfectly mediocre grades and an apologetic note from his teacher about how she doesn’t feel he’s “working up to potential”—I’d merely sighed and set it aside. Because shortly after I’d written about how hope is dangerous, we’d begun the slow slide, again, into more bad days than good. And as we struggled with that, then we had the possibly-a-seizure, and yeah, it’s hard to care about homework when you’re just grateful for any day that seems halfway normal and calm.

But we’ve had a few good vacation days, so we decided to dive into getting him caught up. (more…)

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Comments { 31 }

Love is grateful, day 3

by Mir on November 20, 2010 in Ottomatic For the People

Today I’m grateful for hubcaps. Particularly, this hubcap:

I took Monkey to a doctor’s appointment this week and when we were done, my left rear hubcap was missing. I called Otto in an indignant rage; who the hell steals ONE HUBCAP in the middle of the day in the middle of town?

Otto said, “I’ll take care of it.” And he did. Like magic. A new hubcap showed up in the mail, and then on my car.

I could’ve lived with a missing hubcap. But Otto took care of it. Because that’s just how he is. That there hubcap? IT’S MY VERY FAVORITE. (This is not really about my hubcap. Just in case you couldn’t tell.)

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Love is a long time comin’

by Mir on September 23, 2010 in Ottomatic For the People, Woohoo!

Today I am running around, trying to do at least twelve things at once. There’s work to be done and errands to attend to and the dog wants to play (which, YAY, but also, kind of busy here, pup!) and despite their “help” I had to really clean the kids’ bathroom, today, just to preserve my own sanity.

This afternoon my mother-in-law and her sister (Otto’s aunt and godmother) are arriving for their first visit to our home in Georgia. For those of you who are new, or maybe just to refresh your memory, Otto’s mom was sick and unable to travel for far too long. After a prolonged and scary medical drama, last year she received a liver and kidney transplant, and now she’s on a plane, headed here.

It’s kind of a big deal. A huge deal, really.

Otto’s mom has never seen him in his home, with his family, doing all of the things that he normally does. And even though I wished for this day years ago, it’s hard to believe it’s finally arrived. She can spoil her grandkids. She can see her oldest child in his element. She can see the man I see.

Today is a very good day.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone.

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Comments { 32 }

Love fixes a bad day

by Mir on September 16, 2010 in Health is overrated, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!, Ottomatic For the People

So today I was still sick, and like a responsible human who has been threatened by her husband if she doesn’t call the damn doctor already I called my doctor and went in to chat with her about this little problem where it’s become difficult to breathe, lately. To her credit, my doctor was a little alarmed about that.

As I sat there and bemoaned the fact that I have really been working really hard on getting fit this year, I’ve lost weight and started exercising regularly and STILL I seem to get sick all the time… she looked at her computer and looked at me and helpfully offered, “You should get a flu shot. Only, not today. Once you’re not sick anymore.” She was not even trying to be ironic. I think.

Anyway, it was determined that my asthma has gone rogue and maybe I have an infection on top of that and here, take these meds and oh by the way, I gave you this cough medicine before, do you still have some? I couldn’t remember if I did. (more…)

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